(no subject)
I am knee deep in shit and Im just drowning in assholes, lies and once awhile refreshing truths. Everything is so fucked up.. everything is so word of mouth. I'm trying to cope with reality but reality no longer wants to cope with me. I'm going to become the bad guy in every ending, to every story. I can feel it. Like history repeats I'm leaving social footprints everywhere I go. They make way for the beasts to find me. Slowly they crawl up from the feet and strike from every possible angle. I didn't leave anyone to die, I am dying. I can't feed the poor, I am the poor. I am in a bad way. But it's okay because behind me is the army from the past. Even in shackles you can watch your life unfold to even worst. Until the bitter end I will suffer. Until the bitter end I will take away everything that has made me happy. You can not stop this. It will be never ending.
There is no future in this........
There is no future in this........
I'm still... asleep....
Saying it was predictable is far too cliche, because had we seen it coming, we would have acted accordingly. The stage is set, after an exit stage right the next act can be carried out. Revenge served extra cold, the way I have found to love it being dealt to me.
Back to the original story with the original plan. If I divert again I might go blind. Blind to the truths that stare me directly in the face. I have no friends, just endings that occur at varying dates. It's the reruns that I can't stand. The same show, we've seen this one before, but we are still going to fight the mute point. If I'm destined to be the bad guy in every scenario then I'm going to have to start acting like it. Some are born to endless fucking night.
There is no future in this...
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Classes are cool.. I've got an English accented black dude teaching Chemistry. He cracks me up too much to pay attention to his lecture. I've got a grad student teaching one class... in fact she is teaching Cross Cultural Psychology. That kind of bothers me because someone teaching a diversity class should... I dunno, maybe have some first hand accounts in diversity. Maybe be like 50 years old and not 24. Then Dr. Azimi teaches my Clinical class which is just easy Azimi madness. Then I have Japanese taught by a little cute Asian woman in her 50s or so. I haven't taken a language class in so long, I forgot how they worked, its fun.
I'm a slew of complex emotions. Sometimes I absolutely hate my life, other times I love my life. I hate being that conflicted and contradictory to myself. I need a change of pace. I love being 21 but I don't know if it's enough on it's own. Something has got to change, and it will.
I hope this school year goes smoothly... because when its over I'd really like to move away from here, move away from it all. I'll go so far away this trial of shit will never catch up.
There is no future in this........
There is no future in this........
I'm still... asleep....
Saying it was predictable is far too cliche, because had we seen it coming, we would have acted accordingly. The stage is set, after an exit stage right the next act can be carried out. Revenge served extra cold, the way I have found to love it being dealt to me.
Back to the original story with the original plan. If I divert again I might go blind. Blind to the truths that stare me directly in the face. I have no friends, just endings that occur at varying dates. It's the reruns that I can't stand. The same show, we've seen this one before, but we are still going to fight the mute point. If I'm destined to be the bad guy in every scenario then I'm going to have to start acting like it. Some are born to endless fucking night.
There is no future in this...
-----------
Classes are cool.. I've got an English accented black dude teaching Chemistry. He cracks me up too much to pay attention to his lecture. I've got a grad student teaching one class... in fact she is teaching Cross Cultural Psychology. That kind of bothers me because someone teaching a diversity class should... I dunno, maybe have some first hand accounts in diversity. Maybe be like 50 years old and not 24. Then Dr. Azimi teaches my Clinical class which is just easy Azimi madness. Then I have Japanese taught by a little cute Asian woman in her 50s or so. I haven't taken a language class in so long, I forgot how they worked, its fun.
I'm a slew of complex emotions. Sometimes I absolutely hate my life, other times I love my life. I hate being that conflicted and contradictory to myself. I need a change of pace. I love being 21 but I don't know if it's enough on it's own. Something has got to change, and it will.
I hope this school year goes smoothly... because when its over I'd really like to move away from here, move away from it all. I'll go so far away this trial of shit will never catch up.