Can you get up off your knee's?
Ultimately we have to decide one important key factor: What exactly WOULD you touch with a 10 foot pole?
It's not supposed to really be all that difficult to wake up, shower, shave (maybe), go to work without killing anyone in a haze of roadrage and loud angry music (sometimes opera), get to work and sit down at your desk, and stare blankly for about 20 minutes. But it is. It's so hard. I've been here for a few hours and feel like I've done nothing of value but am closer to the end of my day. I'm kept company mostly by my iPod going through, valiantly I might add, the utter disarray of music I listen to. From NiN - The hand the feeds to Samuel Barber - Adagio for strings to Anthrax - Inside Out. What's strange is that each song dervies a simple emotion from me: nothing. I listen to them, but miss the words, if you know what I mean. It's just background noise I recognize and am in sync with. A slow song and I slow down. A sad song and I write in my LJ. A angry song and my paperwork is slowly slipping off my desk with my signature on it meaning I don't care where it goes anymore.
That's the other thing: logistically speaking - my job sucks. I like working here, I like the atmosphere on the beginning of the week, but by the end when C-Shift is here its just like being in High School again. There's a kid who things he's bully, and he's 5 years younger then me. The silly boy picks on me and thinks I give a fuck, but the only time it ever bothers me is when it effects my performance or makes me look bad in terms of my job. I could give a shit if people like me, I just want to do my job, get paid, not be bothered, and go home. I sit in weekly meetings staring down the local head of IBM, so this pisshead doesn't really phase me -- but still makes the end of the week annoying. To not care takes effort surprisingly because it's in our natures to care. We all want people to like us, unless you yourself are angry at the time, you'd rather not have people be angry with/at you. Strange thing that.
They released to goddamn scout patch last night for TF2. This is bad only, and ONLY, because that means everyone is playing a damn scout for now. Which in terms of say bowling, imagine if all the pins decided to move about when you went to roll the only ball given you of 2 pounds. You can throw it as hard as you'd like, but the little shits zip around your ball, you, steal your wallet and are in your car before it reads "FAULT" on the scoreboard. What makes it worse is that there is no organization. I don't know what happens in people's minds, but I think something just clicks off. They complain that they can't win because all there is playing is scouts, and yet they themselves are playing scouts. It's just madness, purely.
I degress. Raid tonight, and I'm exhausted. That's always a good combination. REQUIRE CONCENTRATION TO NOT DIE and I can't keep my eyes open. Fant-fucking-tastic. (yes, that's how I say it, don't correct me)
It's not supposed to really be all that difficult to wake up, shower, shave (maybe), go to work without killing anyone in a haze of roadrage and loud angry music (sometimes opera), get to work and sit down at your desk, and stare blankly for about 20 minutes. But it is. It's so hard. I've been here for a few hours and feel like I've done nothing of value but am closer to the end of my day. I'm kept company mostly by my iPod going through, valiantly I might add, the utter disarray of music I listen to. From NiN - The hand the feeds to Samuel Barber - Adagio for strings to Anthrax - Inside Out. What's strange is that each song dervies a simple emotion from me: nothing. I listen to them, but miss the words, if you know what I mean. It's just background noise I recognize and am in sync with. A slow song and I slow down. A sad song and I write in my LJ. A angry song and my paperwork is slowly slipping off my desk with my signature on it meaning I don't care where it goes anymore.
That's the other thing: logistically speaking - my job sucks. I like working here, I like the atmosphere on the beginning of the week, but by the end when C-Shift is here its just like being in High School again. There's a kid who things he's bully, and he's 5 years younger then me. The silly boy picks on me and thinks I give a fuck, but the only time it ever bothers me is when it effects my performance or makes me look bad in terms of my job. I could give a shit if people like me, I just want to do my job, get paid, not be bothered, and go home. I sit in weekly meetings staring down the local head of IBM, so this pisshead doesn't really phase me -- but still makes the end of the week annoying. To not care takes effort surprisingly because it's in our natures to care. We all want people to like us, unless you yourself are angry at the time, you'd rather not have people be angry with/at you. Strange thing that.
They released to goddamn scout patch last night for TF2. This is bad only, and ONLY, because that means everyone is playing a damn scout for now. Which in terms of say bowling, imagine if all the pins decided to move about when you went to roll the only ball given you of 2 pounds. You can throw it as hard as you'd like, but the little shits zip around your ball, you, steal your wallet and are in your car before it reads "FAULT" on the scoreboard. What makes it worse is that there is no organization. I don't know what happens in people's minds, but I think something just clicks off. They complain that they can't win because all there is playing is scouts, and yet they themselves are playing scouts. It's just madness, purely.
I degress. Raid tonight, and I'm exhausted. That's always a good combination. REQUIRE CONCENTRATION TO NOT DIE and I can't keep my eyes open. Fant-fucking-tastic. (yes, that's how I say it, don't correct me)