OKLA-FUCKING-HOMA!!
I am moving to Oklahoma for an indefinate amount of time... this is bad! Hangover is not helping... but I don't want to move... well I do but not that far!! It could be for a few weeks or for a few months... or until I turn 18 and move back here for the last half of Senior year which will suck cuz I don't want to go anywhere but here with my friends... I finally fit at school with people and now I (might) have to start over again... I don't even get a chance to give everyone a hug and say good bye cuz I should be gone by this weekend... I dont want to !! but I guess I dont have a choice... I'll live hopefully and I will come back for a visit next summer... now I don't have to mother my brother like I do now... maybe if I make friends I'll be able to act my age... fuck up learn my lesson like a 16 year old should... instead of learning from everyone else's mistakes... or just not taking the risk... I have this feeling I am going to rebel.. big time... as soon as I can convince them (which shouldn't take too long) I am pretty sure my uncle will take me to get my ears pierced a few more times and my lip and/or tongue... they owe me for a few birthdays anyways so I'll consider it repayment... Mom won't be happy when/if I come back all pierced up but fuck her... she's the one sending us away she can deal with it. I am not her daughter anymore and I never will be again... this is the first chance I have to get out of this hell hole and I'm taking it for what it's worth... it's gonna suck for a while but oh well shit happens life goes on... i expected the worst and this isn't it so I'm not dissapointed in any of it...
Things that scare me most (most of these are really stupid)
#1) Flying... I don't like heights and don't trust metal birds at all in any way...
#2) If I have to go to high school in Oklahoma they are going to make fun of me saying I have an accent and I'll have to deal with their accents and all that fun shit... and What if I pick up on their accent? An come back sounding like.. I dunno an Oklahoma person...
#3) What if the plane crashes and I never got to say goodbye/I love you to the people most important to me?
#4) What if I over stress about this more, have a heart attack, die, and never say goodbye/I love you to the people most important to me
#5) What if I fall down in front of the class on the first day of school in Oklahoma? (if Im there for junior year)
#6) What if I forget all the stuff my friends taught me (ex: how to be a smartass (puck) that i shouldn't push people away anymore (Ryss) Smile (Caci) and... fuck everyone else make yourself happy (everyone but Brandi was the first to say it to me) and in forgetting I turn into the old me... the one Caci, Ryss, and B never knew and Puck never really met.. Megan knows her and she says that'll be bad..
#7) What if I lose my fucking mind? Or never see any of my friends here again (I'm mainly refering to 4 specific people) or one of them dies before I come back?
#8) That this is the stupidest list ever made and someone's gonna shot me for making it
I guess that's it... I don't know...
Things that scare me most (most of these are really stupid)
#1) Flying... I don't like heights and don't trust metal birds at all in any way...
#2) If I have to go to high school in Oklahoma they are going to make fun of me saying I have an accent and I'll have to deal with their accents and all that fun shit... and What if I pick up on their accent? An come back sounding like.. I dunno an Oklahoma person...
#3) What if the plane crashes and I never got to say goodbye/I love you to the people most important to me?
#4) What if I over stress about this more, have a heart attack, die, and never say goodbye/I love you to the people most important to me
#5) What if I fall down in front of the class on the first day of school in Oklahoma? (if Im there for junior year)
#6) What if I forget all the stuff my friends taught me (ex: how to be a smartass (puck) that i shouldn't push people away anymore (Ryss) Smile (Caci) and... fuck everyone else make yourself happy (everyone but Brandi was the first to say it to me) and in forgetting I turn into the old me... the one Caci, Ryss, and B never knew and Puck never really met.. Megan knows her and she says that'll be bad..
#7) What if I lose my fucking mind? Or never see any of my friends here again (I'm mainly refering to 4 specific people) or one of them dies before I come back?
#8) That this is the stupidest list ever made and someone's gonna shot me for making it
I guess that's it... I don't know...