Update
well things have gotten better. I told someone something i probably shouldnt have told him. I still love him but he loves her. i see them getting married and having tons of ugly babies. i really wish i wasn't stupid and i can blame him being with her because of one person, if he would have kept his mouth shut and not lied to him he'd still be with me. but of course hes a pussy and had to tell him something that didn't happen. god this sucks cause its the holiday season and i'm alone technically. my boyfriend on the other hand is wanting me to do things i don't want to do yet. i'm not attracted to him in that way i guess you can say. i don't know i'm confused i really probably should just break it off with him and be single. obviously i can't be faithful anyway. i just wish the one i want will see how much he actually means to me and give me another chance even though i don't see that happening. he's happy with her, but he can't love her if he still tries to have sex with me. god i really hate this. i've been waiting for him for 2 years now, and i having a feeling i'll be waiting longer. :(