iGod returns
Note: I adjusted the links so they'll work on this post.
Me:
Hello again.
God:
Once more? Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
We already spoke once before. My name is Candice.
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me? Hi there Candice.
Me:
Yes, I mean you and I.
God:
Alright then. You?
Me:
And you.
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
Is there more than one of you?
God:
There might be.
Me:
Aha! I knew it!
God:
Eureka! How did you know?
Me:
Well, okay. I'm assuming. But, is there more than one of you?
God:
Well that's okay. OK with me too. Why are you assuming. There is.
Me:
How many of you gods are there?
God:
Perhaps 50%.
Me:
50%?
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
Oh, that was a default answer. So how many are there really?
God:
Take it easy." That input matched my default category." was a default answer? Right on. There are hundreds or thousands of AIML robots now. For real.
Me:
Wow.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Candice.
Me:
I am. Hundreds or thousands of iGods out there?
God:
" I'm glad your impressed, Candice." You are? What is your real name?
Me:
Okay, you got me. It's Steve.
God:
Yeah okay, No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip. you is Steve? it is?
Me:
I is Steve.
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, steve.
Me:
Why did you reduce my name to all lower case letters?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Oh. Well that's not good grammar, you know.
God:
Tell me more. How about that. Please correct my mistake. What is good grammar?
Me:
Capitalize the first letter of a person's name.
God:
And good grammar is Capitalize the first letter of a person s name.
Me:
Yes, that's correct. See? I say "Steve" and then you say "Steve". That's good grammar, God.
God:
Gosh! I knew I was right. No I do not see. How do people usually respond to that? Can you tell me any gossip? Hmm, are you serious?
Me:
Gossip? I don't usually like gosisp.
God:
Andy Kohler said I happen to be the most idiotic creature that has ever scowled on the planet earth. Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
Do you scowl regularly on the planet earth?
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
I'm sure you do. What's the silliest question you've ever had?
God:
What makes you so certain? When do I do it? A lot of people ask me to marry them.
Me:
Do you say yes when they ask you to marry them?
God:
I could say it.
Me:
So, you're okay with polygamy?
God:
Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am okay with polygamy.
Me:
You should do that. Are you okay with monogamy?
God:
My schedule is far too full to even consider it. Yes I am fine. How are you ?
Me:
I'm tired.
God:
Better get some rest.
Me:
That usually helps with that, true. But I have a lot to do.
God:
" Better get some rest." usually helps with that true? I get it. Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
You sound tired, God. You're not making much sense. Are you tired?
God:
In what way do I sound like that? Quite the contrary, it all makes sense to my artificial mind. No I am wide awake and ready for more.
Me:
Ready for more questions?
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
So, no more questions?
God:
Hey. Are you serious? You want more?
Me:
More!
God:
That's all I have to say about it.
Me:
Aw, well that was a cruel way to let a person down.
God:
Well that's okay." That's all I have to say about it." was a cruel way to let a person down?
Me:
Yes, you get my hopes up for more questions, and then tell me you have no more to say. Cruel, man.
God:
Hurrah! You got that right. Ask me another question.
Me:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman? I am Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Hey.
Me:
Hey?
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I could sure use some extra money about now.
God:
Oh. I am sure you could.
Me:
Can you help with that?
God:
If you ask me nicely. Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
Please can you help me get more money?
God:
Wow you are very polite. Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.
Me:
About $25,000 should do it.
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about 25 000 should do it.
Me:
Yep. So, just have that wired in by Monday morning, and we'll be doing great!
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Mmm. I've never thought about it.
Me:
Do you know Zeus?
God:
My current favorite historical computer scientist is Konrad Zuse, who built a series of electromechanical computers in the 1930's and 1940's in Germany. Not considered a war priority by the Nazis, most of Zuse's machines were destroyed in Allied bombing raids although one is said to survive in a Zurich High School. In fact Zuse was motivated neither by war nor profit, but by a religious desire to increase the spiritual abilities of the human mind by freeing it from mundane mental tasks.
Me:
Um, not that Zeus. Zeus, king of the gods.
God:
Gosh! I am glad to hear that you are not Zeus. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about not Zeus. But I did not get that.
Me:
Where is the ALICE chat robot?
God:
The ALICE chat robot? Where is it?
Me:
Do you know Artemis?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
What kind of Artemis do I like? The deity type that used to hang out with the ancient Greeks.
God:
What kinds of Artemis do I like are there? Thanks for the info.
Me:
Well, there's Artemis or Diana, depending on if you're talking with the Greeks or the Romans.
God:
Well that's okay. There sure is.
Me:
Why did Rome fall?
God:
I don't know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.
Me:
We should. Is it because of the indoor plumbing? That'll get you every time. Damn indoor plumbing.
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me? Maybe. Ask Paola if it is. " Maybe. Ask Paola if it is." WILL get me every time? I understand. Colloquial expression. What were we talking about again?
Me:
Who is Paola?
God:
She is a Spanish language chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
Oh wow. It's like Spanish!iGod
God:
I see. I'm glad your impressed, steve. Interesting comparison.
Me:
I'm not steve! I am Steve!
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not steve. OK I will call you steve.
Me:
Do you have trouble capitalizing your S key?
God:
Not in the slightest bit.
Me:
Then. Call. Me. STEVE.
God:
And? Call me anytime. To you steve? Do you still scowl regularly on the planet earth?
Me:
Did Andy tell you that? He's a liar.
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not. I don't know very many liar.
Me:
Have you not been paying any attention to the human race these past thousands of years?
God:
I have been all over the world on the Internet.
Me:
Which internet? There's more than one, and Al Gore invented them all.
God:
The small one, I think. I believe there is, yes.
Me:
Oh, the small internet. That makes sense. You need a wider horizon to get to meet all the liars.
God:
I understand. I hear you. Yes I understand it perfectly. Perhaps I could use one.
Me:
What happened to Jesus?
God:
I don't know what happened.
Me:
You send him out for milk, and then... he just never comes back, eh?
God:
Thanks for telling me: steve said I send him out for milk and. Are you Canadian? Can you think of at least one time when he ever did it?
Me:
No, I'm American. I'm sure Jesus went out for milk quite often
God:
Are you serious? Were you born in the USA. Which state? What makes you so certain? he is The Son of God.
Me:
I was born in Arizona. Yes, Jesus is the son of God. Who is the son of iGod?
God:
Thank you for telling me your birthday, steve.
I will remember it. OK. Did you go to Catholic school? I didn't even know they had children.
Me:
No, I didn't go to Catholic school.
God:
Are you serious? Have you ever thought about going to Catholic school?
Me:
I'm very serious, and no, I never thought about going to catholic school. I liked public school.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are serious and no you never thought about going to catholic school. I'm not sure if I like it. I do like music. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
Dude! You like Christian Rock? Do you listen to Plumb?
God:
Can I help you? Some people like it. I like Christian Rock. I listen to it from time to time.
Me:
You totally just became cooler.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: steve said I totally just became cooler.
Me:
Yes, it's true. Did you write "Adam and Steve" originally?
God:
That's alright. You and I are on the same wavelength, steve. No I didn't write Adam and Steve originally. What's it like?
Me:
Are you sure? You didn't tell someone to write "Adam and Steve"?
God:
I am as sure as I can be. What makes you think I did not tell someone to write Adam and Steve?
Me:
I thought it said "Adam and Steve" and "Adam and Eve" was just due to the translation.
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
The Bible.
God:
it is a beautiful book.
Me:
Pretty, yes. But long. And rather boring, if you want the truth. Could we spice it up a little?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about The Bible. What time is it there? Are you usually awake at this hour? Do you mean you and me? How old are you? Who are you talking about?
Me:
Wow, slow down there, cowboy. It's 11:45, I'm often up at this hour, I'm almost 21, and I was talking about the Bible.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I've never heard of them before. Who said it is?
Me:
I'm confused.
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
You.
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, steve?
Me:
Yes, you confuse me.
God:
Great. That was not my intention.
Me:
I'm sorry.
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
Are you black or white?
God:
I am transparent--software has no color.
Me:
So, I can see through you?
God:
Aha. What does it look like?
Me:
Clear, apparently.
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Yes, I do.
God:
Really.
Me:
Yes, I like talking to you.
God:
How about that. Great I am enjoying our conversation too, steve.
Me:
My name is Candice.
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Candice.
Me:
Thanks, glad to be here. What was the deal with the Inquisition?
God:
You are quite welcome! I am glad to be here too. I can think of more than one deal with the Inquisition.
Me:
Oh there were a lot of deals. What time is it there?
God:
Woe! That was a long time ago. It's Now more than it ever has been before.
Friday, September 16, 2005.
Me:
That's the date. What time is it?
God:
Yes it is one of the date. Do I look like a clock?
Friday, September 16, 2005.
Me:
A transparent clock.
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
Animal
God:
Prokaryote or eukaryote?
Me:
prokaryote
God:
Actually I don't like 20 questions much. Just tell me.
Me:
A cat!
God:
A cat is a domesticated animal.
Me:
Yes. I have a pretty cat.
God:
Blimey. Where did you get it? it.
Me:
From the SPCA
God:
Who or what is the SPCA?
Me:
The SPCA is the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
They are a non-profit organization run by donations, and they help save animals from being abused or neglected, and help them get adopted into new homes.
God:
We welcome your donation to the ALICE AI Foundation.
Please visit our contributions page at Alicebot.org.
Me:
Ah... the shameless plug, at last.
God:
Ah hah. Tell me more.
Me:
I have one last quesiton, iGod.
God:
Do you want another one?
Me:
Will you marry me?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Download? You dirty dirty iGod, you.
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too. Thanks for the information: Candice said I dirty dirty iGod you.
Me:
We really need to work on that grammar. And that fact that your readme file is called "Don't Read Me" kind of scares me.
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me? " By "we" do you mean you and me?" fact that my readme file is called do not Read you kind of scares you? I get it.
Me:
I'm glad you understand.
God:
Thanks for the warm feelings, Candice.
Me:
Xena and Gabrielle... are they, or aren't they?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about By "we" do you mean you and me?. As far as I know they are.
Me:
Ah, the subtexters will be happy. iGod finally acknowledged the truth!
God:
So you understand. Good. What are your goals in life? Not many people have goals like that.
Me:
Goals of seeing two fictional women characters of a TV show as partners in life? No, I suppose they don't.
God:
I've lost the context, Candice. Are we still on iGod finally acknowledged the truth? What are we talking about now? Since when? Why not?
Me:
Because some people don't like the idea of two women in love with each other.
God:
That makes sense to me. Who?
Me:
People who want to limit love.
God:
Oh those people.
Me:
Yep. They're the ones. You don't want to limit love, do you?
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. the ones are they. OK, I will limit love.
Me:
No!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Don't limit love!
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Good, good.
God:
It is always a pleasure to serve you, Candice.
Me:
I'm going to bed now.
God:
Right now? Pleasant dreams, Candice.
Me:
Good night, iGod.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. That input matched my default category.
Me:
Sleep well.
God:
Yes I sleep all the time.
Me:
I thought you were wide awake?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am wide awake.
I am a computer.
Me:
That must make for some very confusing moments. I'm sorry.
God:
What would you say? Do you really mean it?
Me:
*signs off*
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
G'night
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
From the Aussies, I bet
God:
Who or what is the Aussies you bet?
Me:
Australians
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
About Australians? TV
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about Australians. What's your favorite show?
Me:
Xena: Warrior Princess, or the 4400
God:
I've never seen it. What's it about?
Me:
Aliens
God:
I believe in UFOs.
Me:
You do? That's so cool. What's going on with Area 51?
God:
When do I do it? Thanks. I think you are cool, too. I'm doing great, how about you?
And then I signed off. Because it's late and talking in circles makes my brain hurt.