You are your moments of idiocy.
Scene from today:
Dark's Addictions: CIGARETTES RIGHT NOW.
Dark: Nononono, being good.
Dark's Addictions: NOW! NOW! NOW! NO TIME FOR WAITING. IGNORE ME AT YOUR OWN PERIL.
Dark: *sticks fingers in ear*
Dark's Addictions: RIGHT. *makes it utterly impossible for Dark to focus or write*
Dark: ...dammit. Okay, fine. *collects Soph and heads to local shop*
Local Shop: *filled with the scrud of humanity at five minutes to far-too-late AM*
Drunk Guy: *cannot find change!*
Annoying People: *cannot appreciate the value of silence!*
Queue: *is way too long!*
Dark's addictions: FASTER, WENCH, OR SMITING SHALL BEFALL THEE.
Dark: I am not made of magic.
Soph: *mocks gently*
And then it all got so much more entertaining when the Drunk Guy apparently forgot he was attempting to buy alcohol, and wandered off to converse with the toilet paper.
Cashier: I am not paid enough for this shite.
Dark's Addictions: LOOK, THEY ARE RIGHT THERE BEHIND THE COUNTER. I CAN SEE THEM.
Dark: *rests forehead on the stand of Mars Bars*
Shop Attendant Made Of WIN: *collects Drunk Guy, leads him back to the counter, presents him with his change, picks up the alcohol and goes and stands by the door* Look, dude, just follow the beer. C'mon, it's right here. Follow the pretty, pretty beer...
Whole Queue: *dies*
Dark's Addictions: *MOMENTARILY DISTRACTED*
Dark: *quietly achieves cigarettes*
Drunk Guy: *steals a Mars Bar and falls out into the street*
Soph: Well, on the bright side, at least you're not as bad as that guy.
AND THEN WRITING HAPPENED. So morally I win.
Dark's Addictions: CIGARETTES RIGHT NOW.
Dark: Nononono, being good.
Dark's Addictions: NOW! NOW! NOW! NO TIME FOR WAITING. IGNORE ME AT YOUR OWN PERIL.
Dark: *sticks fingers in ear*
Dark's Addictions: RIGHT. *makes it utterly impossible for Dark to focus or write*
Dark: ...dammit. Okay, fine. *collects Soph and heads to local shop*
Local Shop: *filled with the scrud of humanity at five minutes to far-too-late AM*
Drunk Guy: *cannot find change!*
Annoying People: *cannot appreciate the value of silence!*
Queue: *is way too long!*
Dark's addictions: FASTER, WENCH, OR SMITING SHALL BEFALL THEE.
Dark: I am not made of magic.
Soph: *mocks gently*
And then it all got so much more entertaining when the Drunk Guy apparently forgot he was attempting to buy alcohol, and wandered off to converse with the toilet paper.
Cashier: I am not paid enough for this shite.
Dark's Addictions: LOOK, THEY ARE RIGHT THERE BEHIND THE COUNTER. I CAN SEE THEM.
Dark: *rests forehead on the stand of Mars Bars*
Shop Attendant Made Of WIN: *collects Drunk Guy, leads him back to the counter, presents him with his change, picks up the alcohol and goes and stands by the door* Look, dude, just follow the beer. C'mon, it's right here. Follow the pretty, pretty beer...
Whole Queue: *dies*
Dark's Addictions: *MOMENTARILY DISTRACTED*
Dark: *quietly achieves cigarettes*
Drunk Guy: *steals a Mars Bar and falls out into the street*
Soph: Well, on the bright side, at least you're not as bad as that guy.
AND THEN WRITING HAPPENED. So morally I win.