(no subject)
Hello world,
or rather assorted strangers and occasional friends. I am sure this mood will pass, but for the moment I am set a little low. This semester has taken it's tole, as all semesters do, and has left me feeling lonely, isolated, and feeling sorry for myself...which in turn causes further isolation, poor eating habits, and a habit of drinking alone, no not in excess, just alone. I have come to realize this semester has pulled a little in a new way. It has come to my attention that I am the strange one that appears randomly. I am the one that always hears about the events after the fact, and I am the random one that doesn't ever seem to get asked to opening nights. I see shows alone. I spend a lot of my time in the library, and I am usually, constantly a solo. I don't think this is a conspiracy, I don't think it's that they hate me here... I simply think that I blend in, just like I always have. I am easily forgotten, and when I am around, well I am just around. When I'm not there it doesn't make a difference, and I am indeed an afterthought on many occasions. I have two close friends that have yet to let me fade out of existence and I hold them dear to my heart. I don't know what I'd do with out those guys. For everyone else - it's always the same- If I'm there, well great, if I'm not it doesn't make a difference... I hope for a day when I do shine that bright, but overall time tend to just fade things further. I really wish I weren't that person, that wall flower, that background noise, the last one chose for dodge ball, or that one girl...
or rather assorted strangers and occasional friends. I am sure this mood will pass, but for the moment I am set a little low. This semester has taken it's tole, as all semesters do, and has left me feeling lonely, isolated, and feeling sorry for myself...which in turn causes further isolation, poor eating habits, and a habit of drinking alone, no not in excess, just alone. I have come to realize this semester has pulled a little in a new way. It has come to my attention that I am the strange one that appears randomly. I am the one that always hears about the events after the fact, and I am the random one that doesn't ever seem to get asked to opening nights. I see shows alone. I spend a lot of my time in the library, and I am usually, constantly a solo. I don't think this is a conspiracy, I don't think it's that they hate me here... I simply think that I blend in, just like I always have. I am easily forgotten, and when I am around, well I am just around. When I'm not there it doesn't make a difference, and I am indeed an afterthought on many occasions. I have two close friends that have yet to let me fade out of existence and I hold them dear to my heart. I don't know what I'd do with out those guys. For everyone else - it's always the same- If I'm there, well great, if I'm not it doesn't make a difference... I hope for a day when I do shine that bright, but overall time tend to just fade things further. I really wish I weren't that person, that wall flower, that background noise, the last one chose for dodge ball, or that one girl...