i want my old life... fuck this time and place
its days like this that make me want to die just a little bit, eh the people in this school repulse me with their tacky makeup and gaudy git-ups they call a decent outfit, everyone has to be so, look at me! but they are discusting and just thinking about it makes me vomit just a little in my mouth. Im sick of people altogether, i guess ive given up on society, our women have become mindless tacky whores and then men are just worse, even if they cant express their need to be fucked by what they wear, you can see the desprateness in everyones dirty fucking face. I dont know what has made me so pissed today, but i guess even if i did know it wouldnt matter, i hate this feeling of being alone, even the people i thought i knew have become foreign to me, but maybe i just dont make any sense...i havnt seen travis in a few days, it makes me sad, but at least i have dan...im tired of life, maybe if i could go to sleep for a few years it would be better, but i have to sit here and stare at all the people that i hate. Ive been so busy, but in the midst of it ive been trying to make some kind of legit art, but it sucks, but its still better than anyone elses shit i have to see here, thats another thing im sick of, why does everyone have to be the best at everything they do? why cant they just admit that they suck? i guess we would all suck then, so yea fuck that, im better than most people, just in general, because people suck. i think im rambling, i wish i could go see the van gough drawings at the met, but no one would ever take me there, i would kill alot of people to go though...it sounds amazing, maybe ill just pull an ellen and do whatever i want and just go...but i doubt it bc i have a job to be at everyday, i think ill just go smoke, that makes everything better...fuck this place