In three years, 'Deicide' is all I'll ever hear
kids will be skeletons are lovebrought to you by the isLove Generator
I had been given a ticket to see Deicide. It cost me nothing, thanks to Chris' contacts. We brought Mikael along for the ride. So it came to pass that I spent most of Tuesday night daydreaming to the soundtrack of death metal, and being staggered at the price of beer.
(scene one: At the Birmingham Academy)
"We wrote an album five years ago. We haven't written a new one, coz we're crap."
Of the bands: Benediction (****) are a Mistress off-shoot, or perhaps a Mistress pre-shoot, if that makes sense. They're a lot of fun- the music is great and the singer, Dave Cunt (bet that's his real name) is a compelling frontman. I'd been promised French gimps for Arkhon Infaustus (1/2*), so when they turn up with only their armour boots and spiky guitar lead, I'm disappointed, although I'm willing to believe Mikael's insistence that you have to tone down your stage show at t'Academy. The bass player's resemblance to X-Pac hardly helps.
X-Pac- boring wrestler
Arkon Infaustus- boring band
Anyway, point is, Arkhon are RUBBISH- they have no tunes and simply aren't entertaining. Alright, I wasn't really concentrating on them, but surely that says something? If a band so loud are so utterly ungripping? But who cares? Deicide (****) are next. The crowd are super-hot for them, chanting "Dead by Dawn" and "Deicide" in a wrestling chant kinda way, and going crazy at the announcement of virtually every song (all of which appear to be called "Death To All Christians" or words to that effect). And I'm damned if it's not entertaining stuff. The focus of my attention is, of course, Glen Benton, who's in AWFUL shape, as if he's taken his look from Slade, or as if Lemmy had really gorged out on the pies. But the drummer Steve and the guitarist whose name I can't remember are both equally watchable. Lots of fun- you'd be surprised at how quickly an hour of identical death-metal songs passes.
(scene two: on a train to Coventry)
"You've got to tell Carly that I'm not a stoner."
The crowd's liberal use of dope has had an effect on my companions. I wait for them to finish ass-kissing lesser Deicide members and Benediction (hey, THEY hated Arkhon Infaustus, it wasn't JUST me), and we head to the station. It's at this point we realise there's something very odd about the usually straight-edge Mikael- the passive smoke has sent him stoned. It occurs to me that it'll be an interesting trip.
We grab the Coventry train, and the train announcer doesn't bother announcing that we're stopping at Coventry. I go to find out whether it is, and my companions amuse themselves by shouting "Malmaison". As the journey continues, Mikael and Chris discuss unattractive ladies. Chris furiously defends his "boyfriend" Matt. I don't get any of it. Mikael then informs Chris that he's been casting Chris' autobiography, and Chris will be played by "Robin Cook in a Sick Of It All hoodie". I laugh a lot. Chris doesn't. Mikael then whines about having to walk home, and suggests "taking the white thing".
Chris- "What the hell are you talking about, you stoned fool?"
Mikael- "That. We could take that." (points to No Smoking sign) "If we had a carpet and some magic words."
We get off the train with hordes of Blink 182 fans (Blink have been playing the NEC), and after Mikael formlessly sings a Bob Marley medley, I make my excuses and rid myself of their imbibed company.
(scene three: somewhere in Shiori's mind)
"Sometimes being happy, baby, is what I'm most afraid of."
Returning home, I realise that I've spent most of the night thinking about Kyly. I pour over 500 words on this subject into my 'real' (as opposed to online) diary until I can't stay awake any longer. And it occurs to me that I've never really talked about Kyly in any great depth here, despite the fact that our relationship has started while I've been writing this (and indeed LiveJournal is nearly wholly responsible for the fact we're back in touch at all). I'm not really sure why- I think it's probably because the entirety of Revival Fires is written in this maddeningly obscure, cryptic way. And if you don't believe me, this was my way of telling you we'd got together.
I can't write with my heart on my sleeve, because I'm accustomed to years of implication and vagueness. Some of the lyrics I write are masked beyond recognition, because I find it almost impossible to be open about anything, at least in print. I can be angry and hacked off in print, but I can't write about love or happiness without feeling like I'm writing the sappiest tat ever. Which is the difference between my LJ and Kyly's. And sometimes that's what unnerves me a bit. It'd be total bollocks to say that none of my previous relationships were particularly emotional or expressive, but certainly reading trentgurl is the first time I've ever read intense, passionate diatribes about me which don't involve the words "bad", "shit" or "wanker". And I'm never sure how to react to them, other than grinning in sheer daffy loved-upness.
And then today, while doing something which didn't involve my brain in any way, I realised what it was about this relationship, what made it so utterly different from my previous romances. It wasn't necessarily the way I felt, not strictly anyway- while I'm sure I haven't felt so deeply for anybody so quickly, it's not like I've never been in love before. No. It was the way she felt, because nobody has ever felt this way before about ME. Vicky? Or Rachael even? Don't be stupid. Mel? I don't know, but somehow, I doubt it. Charlotte? Kind of, and yes Charlotte did love me very much (which is probably why we don't talk anymore) but Charlotte isn't intense. Not in the same way, and not openly. And certainly she wasn't after three weeks of being together.
And it's really lovely and wonderful and awesome and great, but in the same way, it's slightly scary, that someone can respond to my intensity with, like, intensity back. Scary because I'm worried that one day she'll realise that I'm just an emotional flake with insecurity issues- which is probably the reason why the intenseness is so out of sync with how this sort of thing usually goes (in my MIND, at least)- and that 'one day' is gonna be a damn sight sooner than I want it to be.
I don't know. I just don't know what I think or what I'm being so emo about. But what I DO know is that I'm insanely happy to have randomly found Kyly in some dark corner of the Internet, that I had the courage to get round to asking her out after a crappy night at Crash, that she agreed, that we're where we are now. I do know that I love Kyly, probably more than anybody else I have ever felt or will ever feel anything for. And right now, that's, well, awesome.
Kinda worried that nobody seems interested in the Joefest...
Oh, and if anybody gets the lyric which this entry is headed with, they win a medal.
I had been given a ticket to see Deicide. It cost me nothing, thanks to Chris' contacts. We brought Mikael along for the ride. So it came to pass that I spent most of Tuesday night daydreaming to the soundtrack of death metal, and being staggered at the price of beer.
(scene one: At the Birmingham Academy)
"We wrote an album five years ago. We haven't written a new one, coz we're crap."
Of the bands: Benediction (****) are a Mistress off-shoot, or perhaps a Mistress pre-shoot, if that makes sense. They're a lot of fun- the music is great and the singer, Dave Cunt (bet that's his real name) is a compelling frontman. I'd been promised French gimps for Arkhon Infaustus (1/2*), so when they turn up with only their armour boots and spiky guitar lead, I'm disappointed, although I'm willing to believe Mikael's insistence that you have to tone down your stage show at t'Academy. The bass player's resemblance to X-Pac hardly helps.
X-Pac- boring wrestler
Arkon Infaustus- boring band
Anyway, point is, Arkhon are RUBBISH- they have no tunes and simply aren't entertaining. Alright, I wasn't really concentrating on them, but surely that says something? If a band so loud are so utterly ungripping? But who cares? Deicide (****) are next. The crowd are super-hot for them, chanting "Dead by Dawn" and "Deicide" in a wrestling chant kinda way, and going crazy at the announcement of virtually every song (all of which appear to be called "Death To All Christians" or words to that effect). And I'm damned if it's not entertaining stuff. The focus of my attention is, of course, Glen Benton, who's in AWFUL shape, as if he's taken his look from Slade, or as if Lemmy had really gorged out on the pies. But the drummer Steve and the guitarist whose name I can't remember are both equally watchable. Lots of fun- you'd be surprised at how quickly an hour of identical death-metal songs passes.
(scene two: on a train to Coventry)
"You've got to tell Carly that I'm not a stoner."
The crowd's liberal use of dope has had an effect on my companions. I wait for them to finish ass-kissing lesser Deicide members and Benediction (hey, THEY hated Arkhon Infaustus, it wasn't JUST me), and we head to the station. It's at this point we realise there's something very odd about the usually straight-edge Mikael- the passive smoke has sent him stoned. It occurs to me that it'll be an interesting trip.
We grab the Coventry train, and the train announcer doesn't bother announcing that we're stopping at Coventry. I go to find out whether it is, and my companions amuse themselves by shouting "Malmaison". As the journey continues, Mikael and Chris discuss unattractive ladies. Chris furiously defends his "boyfriend" Matt. I don't get any of it. Mikael then informs Chris that he's been casting Chris' autobiography, and Chris will be played by "Robin Cook in a Sick Of It All hoodie". I laugh a lot. Chris doesn't. Mikael then whines about having to walk home, and suggests "taking the white thing".
Chris- "What the hell are you talking about, you stoned fool?"
Mikael- "That. We could take that." (points to No Smoking sign) "If we had a carpet and some magic words."
We get off the train with hordes of Blink 182 fans (Blink have been playing the NEC), and after Mikael formlessly sings a Bob Marley medley, I make my excuses and rid myself of their imbibed company.
(scene three: somewhere in Shiori's mind)
"Sometimes being happy, baby, is what I'm most afraid of."
Returning home, I realise that I've spent most of the night thinking about Kyly. I pour over 500 words on this subject into my 'real' (as opposed to online) diary until I can't stay awake any longer. And it occurs to me that I've never really talked about Kyly in any great depth here, despite the fact that our relationship has started while I've been writing this (and indeed LiveJournal is nearly wholly responsible for the fact we're back in touch at all). I'm not really sure why- I think it's probably because the entirety of Revival Fires is written in this maddeningly obscure, cryptic way. And if you don't believe me, this was my way of telling you we'd got together.
I can't write with my heart on my sleeve, because I'm accustomed to years of implication and vagueness. Some of the lyrics I write are masked beyond recognition, because I find it almost impossible to be open about anything, at least in print. I can be angry and hacked off in print, but I can't write about love or happiness without feeling like I'm writing the sappiest tat ever. Which is the difference between my LJ and Kyly's. And sometimes that's what unnerves me a bit. It'd be total bollocks to say that none of my previous relationships were particularly emotional or expressive, but certainly reading trentgurl is the first time I've ever read intense, passionate diatribes about me which don't involve the words "bad", "shit" or "wanker". And I'm never sure how to react to them, other than grinning in sheer daffy loved-upness.
And then today, while doing something which didn't involve my brain in any way, I realised what it was about this relationship, what made it so utterly different from my previous romances. It wasn't necessarily the way I felt, not strictly anyway- while I'm sure I haven't felt so deeply for anybody so quickly, it's not like I've never been in love before. No. It was the way she felt, because nobody has ever felt this way before about ME. Vicky? Or Rachael even? Don't be stupid. Mel? I don't know, but somehow, I doubt it. Charlotte? Kind of, and yes Charlotte did love me very much (which is probably why we don't talk anymore) but Charlotte isn't intense. Not in the same way, and not openly. And certainly she wasn't after three weeks of being together.
And it's really lovely and wonderful and awesome and great, but in the same way, it's slightly scary, that someone can respond to my intensity with, like, intensity back. Scary because I'm worried that one day she'll realise that I'm just an emotional flake with insecurity issues- which is probably the reason why the intenseness is so out of sync with how this sort of thing usually goes (in my MIND, at least)- and that 'one day' is gonna be a damn sight sooner than I want it to be.
I don't know. I just don't know what I think or what I'm being so emo about. But what I DO know is that I'm insanely happy to have randomly found Kyly in some dark corner of the Internet, that I had the courage to get round to asking her out after a crappy night at Crash, that she agreed, that we're where we are now. I do know that I love Kyly, probably more than anybody else I have ever felt or will ever feel anything for. And right now, that's, well, awesome.
Kinda worried that nobody seems interested in the Joefest...
Oh, and if anybody gets the lyric which this entry is headed with, they win a medal.