trying to get things started...
Summer was going by slowly three days ago, what happened?! Oh yes, I am no longer working for a while because of the mono so I have my house and thoughts to myself all day long. I want so hard to be productive and efficient and there are just so many things I have to do! Am I even going to be able to go to Denver? I should finish the project before Friday so that if I can't go atleast Jess can present with someone else. And although I want to go really badly I can't believe how shitty I felt yesterday! I had a fever like the entire day and I lay on the couch practically all the hours I was awake. How useless can someone feel. Lists...I am trying to make lists of things I need to take and buy for college because the shopping trek with my mom on Sunday proved not productive at all. I don't know what I need or want or what colors I want or anything! So instead of getting everything done in one day, we just got more confused. And then we have to always look at prices and find things on sale because there is only so much money one can spend on a dorm room. But it takes so much more time and we were so exhausted. So atleast I came up with a list of essentials, its a start. Other things I want to do is figure myself out and start to write because I need to realize who I am and what I stand for before I go to college, if not I'll be angry with myself. I also need to set some clear visions of things I would like to do, internships I want to hold and classes I want to take. All through high school the only choices I had to make and decisions I had to make were so intuitive and in the end I saw it wasn't the best way to go about handling things. I just feel so overwhelmed but I can see myself handling it, which is very good. My one concern is that I don't want to lose myself in college, I want to take advantage of everything and still have a clear mind. I finished project organize sock and underwear drawer (yay)! I am also going to try to finish project organize and create playlists for all my burnt CDs too! My laptop is becoming so useful im on CD like 25 of 46! But it wil get done hopefully today. Its so much easier to make playlists of what is on CDs in addition to the vague titles I write on them like "More 80's"