I just dont know...
How do I come across to people? Am I annoying? How am I percieved? What do people think when I am arround them? I thaught of that today.. Im trying to change but its hard. Im violent arnt I? I dont mean to be.. It just happens. I hate that it happens but its rather hard to change.. I mean I dont want to hit people. Its not something thats good I know.. I just dont know what to do about it because I feel like I am pushing people away and thats not something that I want to allow to happen.. I am open to any suggestions on how to change.. I really am.. I dont want to hurt people anymore.. Just when I think that I am all better I figure out that I am not. I want more than aything to be. I can only do so much though.. I want to change. I really really do!
Also to add onto this.. Today was Bens last day at church and that makes me so horrably sad you have no idea! Hes like my big brother and I dont want to lose him. The sad thing is that I kinda have. Yea I will still have contact with him and everything but I will never see him.. It makes me very very sad. I wish he wasnt going but I cant stop him. I just wish and pray that he has the best life. I want him to be happy and I know that that is what he will be. I just wish that it didnt take him so far away.
Oh well...
Also to add onto this.. Today was Bens last day at church and that makes me so horrably sad you have no idea! Hes like my big brother and I dont want to lose him. The sad thing is that I kinda have. Yea I will still have contact with him and everything but I will never see him.. It makes me very very sad. I wish he wasnt going but I cant stop him. I just wish and pray that he has the best life. I want him to be happy and I know that that is what he will be. I just wish that it didnt take him so far away.
Oh well...