whee!
"And he told me I could keep them!" Still chatting on her cell phone, the woman came to a stop in front of her apartment door without really seeing it and reached into her jeans' right front pocket for her keys. "Like I want his misaddressed fan mail. I know. Totally." Keys retrieved, she started to reach for the lock only to pause as she finally looked at it. "Wait, hold on, I think someone broke in. The lock is all scratched up, the light's on, and… yeah, the door's unlocked." A moment, as the person on the other end of the line spoke, and she snorted in amusement. "If only. I'll call you back in a bit, okay? Yeah, you too."
The woman flipped the phone closed and stuffed it away with her keys. She murmured something under her breath, fingers dancing as if playing the piano or cat's cradle, then turned the knob and stepped inside. After a moment of searching, she found the intruder, ball cap pulled low over his eyes and a pistol in his hand, pointed at her; she grinned and closed the door behind her. "Hey."
"Hands up! Put your face to the wall!"
"You're new here, aren't you?" the woman said, and reached for the gun.
"I mean it!" he said, retreating from her grasp half a step. She followed, and as her hand closed over his on the gun, either from nerves or jostling, it went off, and she jerked as the bullet hit her in the shoulder.
But, "ow," was her only comment, and she let go briefly to bat him on the nose - "Bad puppy," - before taking the pistol from him and tossing it away and reaching for him again, this time with both hands.
He evaded, struggled, broke free, and dove for the gun. She kicked it from his hand before he could rise, stepped over his legs, and sat sideways on his ribcage. After some further struggle, she managed to grab both his wrists, and held them in one hand while she dug her phone out again with the other, flipped it open, and hit redial.
"Hey!" she said. "We're in luck. You still needed a sacrifice for Thursday, right?"
I came up with most of this during the periods I couldn't sleep the night before last, and to me it's humor-horror. There's more, but that last line was the one around which the story and idea was based, so I'm taking my father's advice and cutting it off there. Besides, it's only a sample. :p
The woman flipped the phone closed and stuffed it away with her keys. She murmured something under her breath, fingers dancing as if playing the piano or cat's cradle, then turned the knob and stepped inside. After a moment of searching, she found the intruder, ball cap pulled low over his eyes and a pistol in his hand, pointed at her; she grinned and closed the door behind her. "Hey."
"Hands up! Put your face to the wall!"
"You're new here, aren't you?" the woman said, and reached for the gun.
"I mean it!" he said, retreating from her grasp half a step. She followed, and as her hand closed over his on the gun, either from nerves or jostling, it went off, and she jerked as the bullet hit her in the shoulder.
But, "ow," was her only comment, and she let go briefly to bat him on the nose - "Bad puppy," - before taking the pistol from him and tossing it away and reaching for him again, this time with both hands.
He evaded, struggled, broke free, and dove for the gun. She kicked it from his hand before he could rise, stepped over his legs, and sat sideways on his ribcage. After some further struggle, she managed to grab both his wrists, and held them in one hand while she dug her phone out again with the other, flipped it open, and hit redial.
"Hey!" she said. "We're in luck. You still needed a sacrifice for Thursday, right?"
I came up with most of this during the periods I couldn't sleep the night before last, and to me it's humor-horror. There's more, but that last line was the one around which the story and idea was based, so I'm taking my father's advice and cutting it off there. Besides, it's only a sample. :p