In which she fills out a MySpace meme in lieu of an actual entry.
1. In one sentence, explain what ended your last relationship:
I end relationships all the time. By "relationship", I'm assuming it's the deep darling serially monogamous variety that's being referenced here and, if that's the case, then that one's easy: Fucker stole my money.
2. What made you smile today?
A truffle made with violet-infused bitter ganache. A latte made with love and vanilla extract. A charming girl with a comet tattooed across her forearm. The crows' nest (complete with newly-hatched baby crows) on Kitten's fire escape.
3. What were you doing this morning at 8 AM?
Makin' nice and makin' hot-chocolates-on-speed.
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Making up songs about bunnies and rude dick servers who work at that overheated pizza joint on Pine and Boylston.
5. Something that happened to you in 1985?
I'm not sayin'.
6. Your prom night?
The theme: "Let's Get It On." No joke. It's printed across the bottom of my prom photos. That said, it was the dullest waste of my parents' money there ever was. My date pocketed our table's salt shaker and I pocketed the pepper shaker. We wandered the streets of Waikiki for most of the night. Even the hookers seemed bored. The night ended at Zippy's and, since we were both decidedly queer, neither one of us got the titular on.
I don't care that I used 'titular' incorrectly and the story doesn't even end there. Oh, no! On graduation night, I stashed the jeans I'd planned on changing into after the ceremony in the same bag I'd brought with me to the prom. I pulled on my jeans, scooted outside, and felt a fierce, itchy, burning sensation wash across my legs. I'd forgotten about the stolen pepper shaker and, of course, the damned thing decided to vomit its aromatic pronouncement of wrongdoing across the innermost recesses of my pants. Smart, lucky girls would take the cursed things off immediately, right?
But ... no. I was on a bus that was headed towards one of those booze-free school-funded graduation parties. I would be trapped in a variety of loud and frighteningly secure places with the last group of people I'd ever consider removing my lower garments around for the rest of the night.
Oh, it burned. Prom night, it burned.
7. Last thing you said aloud?
"I'm the mean lady who works at Hot Mama's and people sing the mean lady song about me because I'm actually quite mean and I am rude to nice baristi who work around rude people all day and I serve pizza and that's actually a detriment to the pizza and I am not sorry for that because I am really, really mean...etc." Oh, and this was sung.
8. Last thing someone else said aloud?
"What kind of deoderant do you wear, Melani?"
9. Worst thing currently on television:
A plush toy of one of the kittens from The Aristocats, which is not a documentary about really dirty jokes about cats.
10. What was in the mail today?
A Harney and Sons tea catalog.
11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
A doppio macchiato (with a li'l heart), a short latte (with a li'l rosetta), an iced jasmine tea, and a great deal of water.
12. What is your favorite part of the day?
The part that features good gin, strange music, swell company, and maybe a meaningful glance or three.
13. Your current To-do list?
If I told you that, I'd have to kill you or, at the very least, threaten to do so.
18. Least favorite place to shop?
Malls of any sort.
19. Last thing you bought?
Two types of black eyeliner: Delux liner in Nilla Black and Makeup For Ever Color Liner #25
20. Last gift you received?
A perfectly lovely dinner amidst the moped mafia at Cafe Venus. Cafe Venus, of course, serves up a hot pastrami sandwich that may make you cry.
21. Funniest thing you heard all day?
"That isn't french and, therefore, you are not excused. I think you meant to say 'merde'."
22. Favorite mug?
WE CARRY ONLY STEINS AND BOWLS. MUGS ARE FOR ACTORS WITH RUBBERY FACES.
23. What color is your front door?
Unabashedly brown.
24. Beautiful is:
Cognac and Cointreau in a snifter.
25. Describe your keychain:
It's a pink monogrammed Swiss Army knife.
26. Where do you keep your change?
In a little Coach hand purse. Handy as hell and stores my tampons to boot.
28. What kind of winter coat do you have?
Black, leather, ultra-protective, and very close-fitting.
29. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Hot as hell and peppery as fuck.
30. Last ice cream flavor?
Gelato, actually. Pistachio and affogato. Oh, honey, affogato.
31. Last rainbow you saw?
It was either back in Honolulu or buried in an oil slick in Seattle. I should pay more attention to these things.
32. Something you are excited about?
Working around loads of fabulous people. Playing with flower essences behind the bar. Seeing my brother and meeting his fiancee on my birthday. This, that, and the other thing.
I end relationships all the time. By "relationship", I'm assuming it's the deep darling serially monogamous variety that's being referenced here and, if that's the case, then that one's easy: Fucker stole my money.
2. What made you smile today?
A truffle made with violet-infused bitter ganache. A latte made with love and vanilla extract. A charming girl with a comet tattooed across her forearm. The crows' nest (complete with newly-hatched baby crows) on Kitten's fire escape.
3. What were you doing this morning at 8 AM?
Makin' nice and makin' hot-chocolates-on-speed.
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Making up songs about bunnies and rude dick servers who work at that overheated pizza joint on Pine and Boylston.
5. Something that happened to you in 1985?
I'm not sayin'.
6. Your prom night?
The theme: "Let's Get It On." No joke. It's printed across the bottom of my prom photos. That said, it was the dullest waste of my parents' money there ever was. My date pocketed our table's salt shaker and I pocketed the pepper shaker. We wandered the streets of Waikiki for most of the night. Even the hookers seemed bored. The night ended at Zippy's and, since we were both decidedly queer, neither one of us got the titular on.
I don't care that I used 'titular' incorrectly and the story doesn't even end there. Oh, no! On graduation night, I stashed the jeans I'd planned on changing into after the ceremony in the same bag I'd brought with me to the prom. I pulled on my jeans, scooted outside, and felt a fierce, itchy, burning sensation wash across my legs. I'd forgotten about the stolen pepper shaker and, of course, the damned thing decided to vomit its aromatic pronouncement of wrongdoing across the innermost recesses of my pants. Smart, lucky girls would take the cursed things off immediately, right?
But ... no. I was on a bus that was headed towards one of those booze-free school-funded graduation parties. I would be trapped in a variety of loud and frighteningly secure places with the last group of people I'd ever consider removing my lower garments around for the rest of the night.
Oh, it burned. Prom night, it burned.
7. Last thing you said aloud?
"I'm the mean lady who works at Hot Mama's and people sing the mean lady song about me because I'm actually quite mean and I am rude to nice baristi who work around rude people all day and I serve pizza and that's actually a detriment to the pizza and I am not sorry for that because I am really, really mean...etc." Oh, and this was sung.
8. Last thing someone else said aloud?
"What kind of deoderant do you wear, Melani?"
9. Worst thing currently on television:
A plush toy of one of the kittens from The Aristocats, which is not a documentary about really dirty jokes about cats.
10. What was in the mail today?
A Harney and Sons tea catalog.
11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
A doppio macchiato (with a li'l heart), a short latte (with a li'l rosetta), an iced jasmine tea, and a great deal of water.
12. What is your favorite part of the day?
The part that features good gin, strange music, swell company, and maybe a meaningful glance or three.
13. Your current To-do list?
If I told you that, I'd have to kill you or, at the very least, threaten to do so.
18. Least favorite place to shop?
Malls of any sort.
19. Last thing you bought?
Two types of black eyeliner: Delux liner in Nilla Black and Makeup For Ever Color Liner #25
20. Last gift you received?
A perfectly lovely dinner amidst the moped mafia at Cafe Venus. Cafe Venus, of course, serves up a hot pastrami sandwich that may make you cry.
21. Funniest thing you heard all day?
"That isn't french and, therefore, you are not excused. I think you meant to say 'merde'."
22. Favorite mug?
WE CARRY ONLY STEINS AND BOWLS. MUGS ARE FOR ACTORS WITH RUBBERY FACES.
23. What color is your front door?
Unabashedly brown.
24. Beautiful is:
Cognac and Cointreau in a snifter.
25. Describe your keychain:
It's a pink monogrammed Swiss Army knife.
26. Where do you keep your change?
In a little Coach hand purse. Handy as hell and stores my tampons to boot.
28. What kind of winter coat do you have?
Black, leather, ultra-protective, and very close-fitting.
29. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Hot as hell and peppery as fuck.
30. Last ice cream flavor?
Gelato, actually. Pistachio and affogato. Oh, honey, affogato.
31. Last rainbow you saw?
It was either back in Honolulu or buried in an oil slick in Seattle. I should pay more attention to these things.
32. Something you are excited about?
Working around loads of fabulous people. Playing with flower essences behind the bar. Seeing my brother and meeting his fiancee on my birthday. This, that, and the other thing.