I was too rough
When I changed your bandages tonight, I pulled off your scabs in the front. You nearly passed out or threw up from the pain. I am an idiot. We both cried. You hobbled over to the bench to sit down as I soaked your back and front with wet washclothes. I should have been more careful.
I think that your back is healing. There is almost no oozing there and the new skin seems solid. Your front and under your arm where they removed the lymph node are still so raw and painful. I used extra pads to try to keep the pressure off of you.
You are always hunched over now from the pain. I worry that even when...if...it gets better that you will stay like this. I want better for you.
A full night's sleep.
A day without pain.
The stamina you used to have.
An appetite for food.
All things we took for granted.
Oh, Beloved. I can't stop crying.