Silently Screaming Out For Help...
I'm sorry to anyone who has ever attempted to get close to me... I just can't let anyone get close to me anymore... I don't know what happened to me... it's not like anything happened in my life to make me like this... I just can't let anyone near me... it's not like I don't want people to be there for me and to be my friends... but I'm too afraid to let people get to know me and to be close to me in any way... I'm so afraid that I just might force myself not to feel anymore so that nobody can find out... I don't want this to happen... I don't know how to fix it... I know he is there... in my head... but I can't get him out... he's always telling me things... always telling me it will be okay... telling me that everyone is talking about me... always... I can't escape him... no matter how hard I try... it's because of him that I attack people... it's because of him I keep things bottled up inside... he tells me that if I let anyone know they will not like me... thats all I want... to be liked... but he is preventing you from being myself... it is because of him that I put on that mask every day when I wake up... it's because of him that I don't tell people how I feel about them... it's because of him that I sit up at night and cry because those that I love I can never get close to... he is the cause of most of my problems and if I can escape him I might have a chance of being happy for once... but I can't escape him... it's because of him that I can do what I can do now... without him I am nothing... although I can become so much more without him... if I were to lose him... I would no longer be myself... the Bill that you "know and love" will die... I'm too afraid of what the new Bill will be like to risk it... my fears are what's holding me back from being who I want to be once again... Thank You And Have A Nice Fuck Off...