I need you...

[darkravebabe]

My emotions have really been wacky lately. Dan in my life and then back out in a split second. Then there's Joe. Off & on, off & on. We would've never worked. We're both too bull headed. Then there's Gabe. It would be okay if there weren't all these states keeping us apart. I move in 82 days and I couldn't be more...i don't know...hopeful might be the right word. I feel like every few years my life needs a fresh start, but I don't want to have to continually do that for the rest of it. I think I am just never quite satisfied with anything I do. I'm learning quickly however, to do more things. Because if you don't, you look back with so much regret. I can't do that either. I need to constantly be doing something. Writing is always beneficial. I'm not even sure what i'm craving anymore though. New experiences? New views? New people? New things? I don't know what I want. I know I hate college. I'm definitely not cut out to be a student. But i'm also not cut out to be a wife, or a mother, or a good person. I feel like a lost soul left wandering around in a dark room. The lights are off, the room is small and square. I've got enough space to be comfortable and there's a bed and food there. But i'm not happy. I can't see where i'm going, and i want to get out of my little box.

82 days. 82 days.

I'm not sure I can be left in the dark for that much longer.