My head hurts, but helping people makes it better!
Hey Everyone,
It's KK here, sorry I have not writen a lot lately, but a lot of
things have been happening. This past week has been a rollercoster
ride of emotions. I think I have cried enough for atleast a month or
more. Don't get me wrong, i do cry, but i hate feeling weak. It hurts
to know that I have to rely on someone else to feel better. I just
hate it! I mean I love talking to people, but when I cry infront of
people, I just feel that they have pity for me and I dont want that.
So since the 30th i have had some more things happen. Well, something
happened where i got an email from some random girl, saying that my
older step sister is talking about me behind my back and all. At first
i cried, just because i really did not know what to thing or how to
take it. But I talking to one of my other step sister and she told my
dad and my older step sister called me. She told me it was her ex and
his new girlfriend and they were just trying to get everyone to hate
her. I really liked that she called me and told me she was sorry this
happened, and that she loved me. So that made it better.
And then friday went good, I went out to dinner with my bro and papa.
But I was really snippy, and just not really feeling all that great.
Sat and sunday was ok, until sunday night. I dont really want to go
into a lot of detail, but lets just say i had a friend who I thought
was going to kill her self, because of her family. I cried because I
felt bad for her, and did not want her to do anything to harm herself.
So today I went to my councler and she told me that i did the right
thing. I really did not want to see her harm herself. I had a
friend(7th grade) who told me I was the only reason, she did not kill
her self. It is hard for someone to live with that. And with that
friend I did not do anything, and thank god, she did nothing and got
out of the house that she hated so much. But, if she did kill her
self, I dont think i could live with myself then.
But, I promise I will never try to kill myself.
Other then that today went well. But, in my expos writing class we had
to read an article about a dad who pushed his kid to far, and it went
from just being the dad who pushed for more sports, and then to a
strict diet, and at one point beating. The kid could not take it
anymore and went to get the family gun, at first I though he was going
to kill himself, but then he shot his dad twice. He got 3 years in
prison, and after 2 years patrol, be he was out with him 15 months. I
think it as right what he got, I mean he had no other choice, his
mother could not help and everyone thought nothing was wrong. So, we
were talking about it, and I kept thinking about my firend. I really
did not like listening to it, so i put my hood up and just looked at
my hands, or the ground.
Well, I am off to go write more, and take my contacts out.
Oh.....I forgot, I decided to become a Vegetarian. It has onyl been a
day, but I feel better, and I am eating less. So it is all good. But,
I am trying it for 30 days and also for the 30 days, I am giving up
sodas, energy drinks, chips, some sweets, and I will only have chesse
pizza twice a month, unless I have to.
And i got my hair cut. I got it boy short in the back and bangs and it
is short..just all around short.
Well, I am out!
Love Ya,
Kay Kay
Words of wisdom: Frank Lloyd Wright:
Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
Song of the day: Ramalama (Bang Bang)- Roisin Murphy