Don't you miss me?
Luke.. you have to watch this... so then you'll know what I'm singing when you're trying to go to sleep.. and don't skip thru it.. watch the WHOLE thing.. that way you don't miss the good parts...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TAQ1T1e2Dg
Went to combichrist the other night... it was ok. Got really drunk... among other things. Was fun, woke up in a friends house, she wasn't wearing any clothes. Surprisingly that's not the first time something like that has happened to me. You know how it is.... maybe.
I've been trying to get thru this mist of depression. I think maybe it has to do with my birthday coming up, knowing I won't get so much as a phone call from my parents. I don't know. I feel like there are so many things that I want to do in my life, but time just goes too fast... and I feel that I'm spread too thin. Some people are born with one thing they really want. I have many things I love to do. And it's hard to pick one. I need a goal, I need income thats worth a shit, I need a job that's more than a porn store. But it's trying to find what it is that want that's so hard.. I know I could go to beauty school and probably make dreads and cut hair the rest of my life and probably be pretty happy with that.. But I could also be a makeup artist and be pretty happy with that too... Sometimes I think about getting into the sex toy business, MAKING them.. not selling them.. but I imagine that's hard to do... If you don't live in California that is.
I guess I have alot to figure out. First I'm going to put in the effort to get my GED, and just go to beauty school, then at least I'll be doing something more worth while. I'm also getting very into my tarot cards.. I'm getting really good too... Maybe I can do that on the side... You never know with me.. I believe in reincarnation, and I think maybe I can carry alot of things I want to do with me into my next life and finish where I left off later. Not that I want to ignore things and save them for later.. but it's nice to know that maybe I'll have a second chance at things that I maybe won't get to do this time.
I have to control my violence alot lately too... I've been more and more angry the past few weeks.. One of these days someone is going to say something and I'm just going to pound their face into the sidewalk. I think there's alot of things people don't know about me... maybe things I don't even know about myself. Some things I'll never know... Maybe I don't want to. I know for sure nobody else does.
I'm very excited about caroline... I really want to see that movie.. I think it's coming out in 3d. I think I will love it. I think I love lots of things... almost as many things as I hate.
I saw the new Underworld with Luke the other night... I loved it... I love all them.. I know they are cheesey, but I do not care that much... I like them anyways. They all have contacts like mine.. I think now I need blue ones...or red ones! Things to think about...
Tonight is Gregs birthday... I'm still feeling a bit sick but I'm going out anyways... that is if he's not having his party at his house.. Too far away, too much walking, too cold for that... But if he goes to a bar down town that would be sweet....
And now back to porn... I think I shall make some smut grab bags today... Yep.
On a side note.. I found lipstick this morning when I was taking the money out of the booths... I'm sure he felt pretty when he sucked some homeless guys dick... People are fucking gross I tell ya... Just damn nasty....
Went to combichrist the other night... it was ok. Got really drunk... among other things. Was fun, woke up in a friends house, she wasn't wearing any clothes. Surprisingly that's not the first time something like that has happened to me. You know how it is.... maybe.
I've been trying to get thru this mist of depression. I think maybe it has to do with my birthday coming up, knowing I won't get so much as a phone call from my parents. I don't know. I feel like there are so many things that I want to do in my life, but time just goes too fast... and I feel that I'm spread too thin. Some people are born with one thing they really want. I have many things I love to do. And it's hard to pick one. I need a goal, I need income thats worth a shit, I need a job that's more than a porn store. But it's trying to find what it is that want that's so hard.. I know I could go to beauty school and probably make dreads and cut hair the rest of my life and probably be pretty happy with that.. But I could also be a makeup artist and be pretty happy with that too... Sometimes I think about getting into the sex toy business, MAKING them.. not selling them.. but I imagine that's hard to do... If you don't live in California that is.
I guess I have alot to figure out. First I'm going to put in the effort to get my GED, and just go to beauty school, then at least I'll be doing something more worth while. I'm also getting very into my tarot cards.. I'm getting really good too... Maybe I can do that on the side... You never know with me.. I believe in reincarnation, and I think maybe I can carry alot of things I want to do with me into my next life and finish where I left off later. Not that I want to ignore things and save them for later.. but it's nice to know that maybe I'll have a second chance at things that I maybe won't get to do this time.
I have to control my violence alot lately too... I've been more and more angry the past few weeks.. One of these days someone is going to say something and I'm just going to pound their face into the sidewalk. I think there's alot of things people don't know about me... maybe things I don't even know about myself. Some things I'll never know... Maybe I don't want to. I know for sure nobody else does.
I'm very excited about caroline... I really want to see that movie.. I think it's coming out in 3d. I think I will love it. I think I love lots of things... almost as many things as I hate.
I saw the new Underworld with Luke the other night... I loved it... I love all them.. I know they are cheesey, but I do not care that much... I like them anyways. They all have contacts like mine.. I think now I need blue ones...or red ones! Things to think about...
Tonight is Gregs birthday... I'm still feeling a bit sick but I'm going out anyways... that is if he's not having his party at his house.. Too far away, too much walking, too cold for that... But if he goes to a bar down town that would be sweet....
And now back to porn... I think I shall make some smut grab bags today... Yep.
On a side note.. I found lipstick this morning when I was taking the money out of the booths... I'm sure he felt pretty when he sucked some homeless guys dick... People are fucking gross I tell ya... Just damn nasty....