It rips my life away
I just want some one to say to me
I'll always be there when you wake
Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made
And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape
escape......escape......escape......
Blind Melon - No Rain
I've come to the basic understanding that some of the base goals for what I figure will bring me happiness in my life are not solely reachable through my own willpower or effort. Rather, they rely on other's thoughts and wills. This helps feel an overwhelming feeling of despair that at times threatens to overwhelm me, and paralyze me with inactivity. Depression is a constant fight to stay motivated and fighting. While my residual anger somewhat fuels some of that depression, it also sparks in me the defiance that gets me focused towards what I want.
Life is a neverending trip of trial and error, experience and grow. Pleasure and pain, if you will. Somethings, I can control. Other things, I cannot.
Ironically, my biggest pasttime and relaxation activity has perhaps become one of my largest responsibilites and creation of stress. Such is the price one pays for a leadership position. Suffice it to say, I wish all people were wellspoken, intelligent, and fun loving like some of the people I feel priveledged to call friends. I also realize I just spelled that wrong, but it is too late for me to look up the correct spelling.
I am a person who has always focused on the music more than lyrics. I judge a good song first on the music, the harmonies, and the way the sound intermingles. Only then do I take into account lyrics and message. Regardless, I can still at times find songs that fit my feelings and encapsulates the emotions I am emitting.
I wish that I could just sit down and talk with people and really get messages across. To have my feelings be understood, acknowledged, and appreciated. To be shown that I matter. I suppose that is something that is important to me. I've become much less high maintenance as I've grown, but I still like to know that I'm appreciated, especially by those who are close to me. Probably comes from the family I was raised in, and just the way love has always been expressed in my family.
I can't fix all my problems. A never ending struggle between the black void that is apathy and inaction, to the unknown extremes of uncalculated, blind and rash decision making. A median is ideal, but tough to maintain.
Life is hard folks.
I'll always be there when you wake
Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made
And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape
escape......escape......escape......
Blind Melon - No Rain
I've come to the basic understanding that some of the base goals for what I figure will bring me happiness in my life are not solely reachable through my own willpower or effort. Rather, they rely on other's thoughts and wills. This helps feel an overwhelming feeling of despair that at times threatens to overwhelm me, and paralyze me with inactivity. Depression is a constant fight to stay motivated and fighting. While my residual anger somewhat fuels some of that depression, it also sparks in me the defiance that gets me focused towards what I want.
Life is a neverending trip of trial and error, experience and grow. Pleasure and pain, if you will. Somethings, I can control. Other things, I cannot.
Ironically, my biggest pasttime and relaxation activity has perhaps become one of my largest responsibilites and creation of stress. Such is the price one pays for a leadership position. Suffice it to say, I wish all people were wellspoken, intelligent, and fun loving like some of the people I feel priveledged to call friends. I also realize I just spelled that wrong, but it is too late for me to look up the correct spelling.
I am a person who has always focused on the music more than lyrics. I judge a good song first on the music, the harmonies, and the way the sound intermingles. Only then do I take into account lyrics and message. Regardless, I can still at times find songs that fit my feelings and encapsulates the emotions I am emitting.
I wish that I could just sit down and talk with people and really get messages across. To have my feelings be understood, acknowledged, and appreciated. To be shown that I matter. I suppose that is something that is important to me. I've become much less high maintenance as I've grown, but I still like to know that I'm appreciated, especially by those who are close to me. Probably comes from the family I was raised in, and just the way love has always been expressed in my family.
I can't fix all my problems. A never ending struggle between the black void that is apathy and inaction, to the unknown extremes of uncalculated, blind and rash decision making. A median is ideal, but tough to maintain.
Life is hard folks.