Work Frustrations - ignorance on children
I needa vent!!
Sometimes I really just want to smack people for being so ignorant about children. I should maybe cut people some slack I mean I know not everyone has the same background, experiences and education that I and many others have but... *sigh*
See we get a lot of kids at work with huge behavior problems and there are a good number of people I've come across who just want to label the kid as a problem. Some of the kids end up simply medicated (yeah sometimes it does make a huge difference but the other problems are still over looked), some end up being kicked out of programs (and yeah some really don't belong in the programs at the moment).
Well right now we have one such kid who is on the verge of not being able to continue coming to child care and who really does not belong there at the moment. I am just wanting to kick myself for bringing the subject up again to one of my coworkers today, I should have just followed what I said two seconds earlier to one of the kids she asked to see what I was writing (it was a note to my supervisor saying I may have a connection to a program that would very likely fit for this child) which was it was private and I wouldn't share a note about her with another child, her information stays private. It's already a known issue between the coworkers though...anyway, I'm just kicking myself because I know this woman just isn't gonna get it and I should probably stop trying.
This child's parent passed away maybe a year (or a little less) ago and his family has just moved here, the child is just completely out of control. Ok, yeah the family does not live in a good area and the kid is exposed to a lot of fighting and bad language etc by the neighborhood grown ups and teens etc. While I'm sure that plays it's part I know a lot of people who have grown up in that area and not had the issues this child does so, I'm not gonna say that's the whole story. I'm not gonna put the he's a bad kid because he's just a bad kid and lives in a rotten area. You don't get these types of issues without something more going on. Last week on at least 3 or 4 occasions this child was all over the fathers of the other children when they came in to pick up their kid, at least twice this kid started calling the parent "daddy". That was pretty much the deal sealer for me that this kid can't stay in child care at the moment. (I mean yeah there have been two fairly severe physical incidents with other children that made me think this but...)
So back to what I'm pissed off about. This woman I'm working with says she doesn't see it, she just thinks that's just the way that kid is (read as "bad, out of control kid"). She told me but "he was 4 when the parent passed and that was a year ago". *Face Palm* Oh and "he doesn't seem sad or anything". I said "he seems like a pretty angry kid to me" she doesn't see it. Oh let's see he's attacked two other children (we had to file incident reports), he constantly picks fights, he hits other kids and staff, he'll sob like a 2 year old if he doesn't get his way or if he has a minor accident...ok I mentioned about what happens when some other child's father comes in, he'll get mad at that child or the parent as well. Just because he was 4 when his father passed doesn't mean he had no clue or concept of what happened or what was going on or has gone on in his family since. (not to mention the move and who knows what else) Yes, it was a year ago that doesn't mean he's over it. Grieving is a process! A five stage process at that a person can be in any one of those stages in the process at any point and they can and probably will repeat the process over time. My grandmother passed when I was twelve I'm still in a grieving process, I'm still in a grieving process over the fact that I don't and more than likely never will know my birth family. Every birthday, every holiday...sometimes just at some random moment any one of losses in my life can start one of those 5 stages off. Personally I don't think I was ever really helped with my emotional development as a child, I should say I know I never was, and I know where that sets a person up to potentially head. A study came out not to long ago that looked at how children coped with the events of 9/11, those who had experienced a previous trauma (death of a parent for example) showed significant problems compared to children who had not experienced a trauma prior to 9/11. I believe this study has been on going or done at other times/other events such as children who experienced the Tsunami. So, undealt with ...who knows what this little kid could deal with in the future. It pisses me off though that people think children are so simple (simple minded?). Yeah maybe there are some kids who just bounce on oblivious ... not this one. Just some people can't seem to give kids credit for being very smart/wise to their surroundings, it's almost like kids aren't quite human to them or something. *shrug* I don't know but I feel better venting lol. Waiting till my supervisor comes back because she pretty much agrees with me and the other coworkers, someone needs to find this child some help and I think I have an idea.
Sometimes I really just want to smack people for being so ignorant about children. I should maybe cut people some slack I mean I know not everyone has the same background, experiences and education that I and many others have but... *sigh*
See we get a lot of kids at work with huge behavior problems and there are a good number of people I've come across who just want to label the kid as a problem. Some of the kids end up simply medicated (yeah sometimes it does make a huge difference but the other problems are still over looked), some end up being kicked out of programs (and yeah some really don't belong in the programs at the moment).
Well right now we have one such kid who is on the verge of not being able to continue coming to child care and who really does not belong there at the moment. I am just wanting to kick myself for bringing the subject up again to one of my coworkers today, I should have just followed what I said two seconds earlier to one of the kids she asked to see what I was writing (it was a note to my supervisor saying I may have a connection to a program that would very likely fit for this child) which was it was private and I wouldn't share a note about her with another child, her information stays private. It's already a known issue between the coworkers though...anyway, I'm just kicking myself because I know this woman just isn't gonna get it and I should probably stop trying.
This child's parent passed away maybe a year (or a little less) ago and his family has just moved here, the child is just completely out of control. Ok, yeah the family does not live in a good area and the kid is exposed to a lot of fighting and bad language etc by the neighborhood grown ups and teens etc. While I'm sure that plays it's part I know a lot of people who have grown up in that area and not had the issues this child does so, I'm not gonna say that's the whole story. I'm not gonna put the he's a bad kid because he's just a bad kid and lives in a rotten area. You don't get these types of issues without something more going on. Last week on at least 3 or 4 occasions this child was all over the fathers of the other children when they came in to pick up their kid, at least twice this kid started calling the parent "daddy". That was pretty much the deal sealer for me that this kid can't stay in child care at the moment. (I mean yeah there have been two fairly severe physical incidents with other children that made me think this but...)
So back to what I'm pissed off about. This woman I'm working with says she doesn't see it, she just thinks that's just the way that kid is (read as "bad, out of control kid"). She told me but "he was 4 when the parent passed and that was a year ago". *Face Palm* Oh and "he doesn't seem sad or anything". I said "he seems like a pretty angry kid to me" she doesn't see it. Oh let's see he's attacked two other children (we had to file incident reports), he constantly picks fights, he hits other kids and staff, he'll sob like a 2 year old if he doesn't get his way or if he has a minor accident...ok I mentioned about what happens when some other child's father comes in, he'll get mad at that child or the parent as well. Just because he was 4 when his father passed doesn't mean he had no clue or concept of what happened or what was going on or has gone on in his family since. (not to mention the move and who knows what else) Yes, it was a year ago that doesn't mean he's over it. Grieving is a process! A five stage process at that a person can be in any one of those stages in the process at any point and they can and probably will repeat the process over time. My grandmother passed when I was twelve I'm still in a grieving process, I'm still in a grieving process over the fact that I don't and more than likely never will know my birth family. Every birthday, every holiday...sometimes just at some random moment any one of losses in my life can start one of those 5 stages off. Personally I don't think I was ever really helped with my emotional development as a child, I should say I know I never was, and I know where that sets a person up to potentially head. A study came out not to long ago that looked at how children coped with the events of 9/11, those who had experienced a previous trauma (death of a parent for example) showed significant problems compared to children who had not experienced a trauma prior to 9/11. I believe this study has been on going or done at other times/other events such as children who experienced the Tsunami. So, undealt with ...who knows what this little kid could deal with in the future. It pisses me off though that people think children are so simple (simple minded?). Yeah maybe there are some kids who just bounce on oblivious ... not this one. Just some people can't seem to give kids credit for being very smart/wise to their surroundings, it's almost like kids aren't quite human to them or something. *shrug* I don't know but I feel better venting lol. Waiting till my supervisor comes back because she pretty much agrees with me and the other coworkers, someone needs to find this child some help and I think I have an idea.