blah
I hate it when i get these random bouts of insomnia. Last time i had a bad case like this was a while ago so i suppose i was due though. Havnt been able to sleep,without the aid of sleeping pills. Those dont actually put me to sleep, but in a state of rest thats hard to explain but is annoying because its not sleep so im not fulfilled AND i dont dream so its like an odd 8 hours(almost exactly, god bless modern medicine, lol) of me fidgeting in a bed and wishing for rest. I think its been a week now. I was looking ok but now after a week i really look like someone who has been up for a week straight. I got that lovely thing around my eyes that says PLEASE GOD KILL ME SO I MAY SLEEP ETERNALLY or whatever. If i remember there was some remedy involving teabags, to cover my eyes to help remove the puffiness of the no sleeping eyes and such, but that still doesnt let me sleep. Im at the point now i hate the most of my Insomnia runs, which is boredom. I just shove random movies in the DVD player to at least hear or see something now. Ive popped so many sleeping pills that i think we ran out. Kelli spent all day yesterday when i was in my sleeping pill state asking me if i was asleep. Of course i wasnt, and i answered her everytime which seemed to make her sad. Then again she didnt question the judgement of asking someone who is asleep if they are asleep in the first place. I hate just playing games in the spare time too, makes me feel diminished. Now all i have to look forward to in the days and nights to follow until this breaks is random bouts of hunger and the variety of splitting headaches. About the only chemical i have left in the house that would help me sleep is Liqour. Hard Liqour. And i dont think Kelli would like it if i just started boozing at 10 AM to go to sleep. Though honestly a bloody mary sounds appealing at the moment...maybe im just hungry, and i do like tomatoe juice. This isnt me whining really, im not really complaining about the Insomnia. Ive lived with it for years now, and im sorta used to it, its just the boredom that eats me up. Thats the main reason im typing now. After 8 hours of silence(ive even started drowning out the movies now in the background ><) i need something. Its annoying to watch someone else sleep for 8 hours while you stand there awake. I dont feel like playing any more Resident Evil 4(not because its not great...but because i cant do that anymore, maybe in another day or two of this pick it up again), the movies have lost the appeal and are mere background noise...I think i may hit up one last stash of pills with a sleep aid or soemthing in them to knock myself out for 8 hours.
It may not be sleep, but it keeps me still and occupied for 8 hours at least. Its an annoying state to be in, like a very damp darkness that is interspersed with time slowing and speeding up at odd rates. I can hear everything around me and its simple to break free...but its all dark with no dreams. No wonder Doctors tell you to get natural sleep and not rely on sleeping pills. 8 hours of that all the time will drive me nuts.
Oh and just because.
Which Suikoden True Rune Are You Compatible With?
brought to you by Quizilla
Too bad it doesnt fucking do anything with sleeping.
It may not be sleep, but it keeps me still and occupied for 8 hours at least. Its an annoying state to be in, like a very damp darkness that is interspersed with time slowing and speeding up at odd rates. I can hear everything around me and its simple to break free...but its all dark with no dreams. No wonder Doctors tell you to get natural sleep and not rely on sleeping pills. 8 hours of that all the time will drive me nuts.
Oh and just because.
Which Suikoden True Rune Are You Compatible With?
brought to you by Quizilla
Too bad it doesnt fucking do anything with sleeping.