My God...
My life has never sucked so much ass as it has been this entire week. Life has not only been boring but it's been lonely, depressing, melancholic, and a bullet to the head. I wish I could just... die instead of having to live on like this. No sign of progression, little sign of hope, and our fate seems cursed and stained with the darkness that my father left. Everytime we try to do something, we fail...and we fail again, miserably it seems. Keep your hopes up too high and they're bound to get disappointed...
Yet... whenever I keep my doubts up high, I get my wish granted? WTF is up with that? I don't understand and I probably never will. *Sighs and turns into a puddy of mush.*
My problems are actually a lot more painful and serious than what I'm conveying them to be right now but... I can't write so seriously about them. I don't need to introduce the darkness or morbid aspects of my life to others because I know no one can truly do anything to stop it, to fix it, or to heal it aspect my Lord Almighty: Allah.
I just feel.. so damned... and forsaken; I don't know what I've done in my past life to deserve this or even in the present one but... if this all is nothing more than tribulation then My God... it must be SOME tribulation. I'd like to think of it as maybe one large ultimate test for me and see how long I can keep my sanity intact-- if at all.
And... for some reason, it seems my days are shortening and my life may come to an end soon... I don't know why I feel like that but it's just this feeling I get that I'm gonna die very soon; too soon...so soon that people won't even know that I'll be gone-- especially me of course.
-Mike
Yet... whenever I keep my doubts up high, I get my wish granted? WTF is up with that? I don't understand and I probably never will. *Sighs and turns into a puddy of mush.*
My problems are actually a lot more painful and serious than what I'm conveying them to be right now but... I can't write so seriously about them. I don't need to introduce the darkness or morbid aspects of my life to others because I know no one can truly do anything to stop it, to fix it, or to heal it aspect my Lord Almighty: Allah.
I just feel.. so damned... and forsaken; I don't know what I've done in my past life to deserve this or even in the present one but... if this all is nothing more than tribulation then My God... it must be SOME tribulation. I'd like to think of it as maybe one large ultimate test for me and see how long I can keep my sanity intact-- if at all.
And... for some reason, it seems my days are shortening and my life may come to an end soon... I don't know why I feel like that but it's just this feeling I get that I'm gonna die very soon; too soon...so soon that people won't even know that I'll be gone-- especially me of course.
-Mike