Friendship Flosse

[darknesstolight]

Okay sooo.. I try to befriend this dude who I met (who I recalled I tried to befriend in the past but I guess he was always too busy and it pissed me off eventually) who it seems like doesn't like me already. I dunno, he seemed to have put a lot of walls around him when I first met him, or maybe I just think that way. I don't know but it seems like he was sort of hard to connect with. Seeing he was emotionally 'sensitive' I assumed he'd be receptive too but it seems like he wasn't. I tried talkin' bout myself and tell him upstraight and front that generally peers round me don't care for me so much. I guess he took this as me being meek or lacking self-esteem (which I can admit it's been in the pits lately). I.. tried going with the entire "certain truths don't need to be known, certain ailments don't need to be shown" thing. It was my mistake, whatever.

No... I shouldn't be blaming myself for the actions of some stupid dude. I mean.. I didn't do anythin' wrong.. did I? Maybe to him which then I guess is all that matters if I wanted to try to be his friends. I tried thinkin' carefully bout what to say, not sure what to say.. guess I should let certain words move out more smoothly.

God.. dammit.. it's all so complicated this "making friend's BS". How am I supposed to make friends with people with such levels of dejection? I dunno... but it doesn't matter.. keep on tellin' my self that none of it will. Guess I'll be permenantly lonely or something...

After all.. I am the hermit.