Oneshot| Dimming
Title: Dimming
Pairing: Jaejoong-centric OT5; slight jaeho
Genre: Horror
Rating: R
Warnings: disturbing imagery, dark themes, character death
Summary: Jaejoong loves and loves and believes they deserve only the best
A/N: Written for my creative writing horror story assignment. I still can't believe I turned a fanfic in...
Jaejoong loved Yunho.
Really, he did.
He had given everything up for Yunho. His family, his friends, his job even. Left them all behind for a man with sweet smiles and the key to his heart.
Jaejoong loved him, you see?
More than anything. More than everything.
And Yunho deserved the world to him.
-
They talked often, not necessarily about anything, but they talked often. They shared stresses and joys and sweet nothings and really, everything in between.
It was good, to talk like this, especially when living with three other roommates. There had to be trust.
…not that Jaejoong ever needed it. He trusted Yunho. He trusted all of them. They were the family that had picked him up when he was down and set him back to flying again. He would give his life and more for them and consequently he often took care of them with a sort of motherly air. He would cook for them, clean for them, cheer them up, and keep them on task.
Honestly, his heart was probably just as much theirs as Yunho's and he would never begrudge them that.
-
There were difficulties in being in a band, in living so closely with those you worked with, but somehow, they all fit together. There were few serious fights if any at all and really, they only ever got closer.
Jaejoong always wished them the best, no matter what, and really, wasn't that what love was?
-
"-and manager is really being driven up a wall, he can't handle the flood of bookings without insulting someone anymore, so I told him-"
"Yunho?' Jaejoong looked up at his lover sweetly and Yunho paused in his story, waiting with a cute expression that was reserved for Jaejoong.
"Yeah, Jae?"
"Can you just," Jaejoong felt strange, blood rushing in his ears and making him dizzy, giddy, "Stop?"
Perplexity passed over Yunho's features, "What? What do you mean by th-"
Jaejoong rose from his seat, and empty grin on his face.
"Just… stop."
And without another word he wrapped his hands around Yunho's thin neck and just squeezed.
He watched as life slipped from startled eyes with almost no resistance, a silent pleas of why? echoing through his head.
-
Jaejoong woke with his fingers crooked around thin air, chest heaving, the feeling of familiar skin against his palms.
He rolled over and brushed the sweaty hair from his eyes, thanking the fact that Yunho was in the next room that night at the same time that he found himself irritated, an itch in his bones.
The unforgettable feeling of life oozing out, leeching away between his fingertips crawled over his skin, consuming, whispering, creeping over him inch by inch by maddening inch into his heart, his hands…
It felt good.
He shook his head as the thought appeared. He mustn’t, mustn’t, mustn’t-
Just… stop.
He closed his eyes and dreamed of dimming lights tarnishing once-bright smiles.
-
"Joongie?"
Jaejoong jumped at Yunho's gentle tones, ash spilling from the butt of his cigarette and singeing little moth-holes in his too-white pants.
He still couldn't shake the feeling, couldn't stop the desire-
It felt like succumbing under the gentle tug of a river.
Felt goo-
"Thought you quit."
"..t-tried. I tried."
"You still can, you know, you were so close to-"
"Yunho? can you just," stop, "leave? I need some time, okay?"
Yunho was hesitant, but he nodded and slid the door shut behind him. Jaejoong let out the breath he hadn't meant to hold.
He itched, his fingertips twitching and he moved to take another drag of his dying cigarette but dropped it instead, watching the little embers die out glow dimming before just snuffing out.
Oh, how he wanted it, and really, he thought, a grin splitting his features, why couldn't he just… have it?
-
Jaejoong loved Yunho, truly, he did.
This is why he didn't just take what he wanted. Yunho didn't deserve a botched job- he deserved nothing less than the full and beautiful ending that Jaejoong dreamed of every night. Simply enough, Jaejoong needed practice before the real thing, but who to practice on?
It was a delicate situation. Jaejoong wasn't to be caught and he certainly couldn't waste such a precious end on just anyone. That alone eliminated strangers, eliminated the staff, even his own family, but who then was there to take from?
He set his eyes on his band members, relaxing in front of some romance film in their hours off.
A smile tugged at Jaejoong's lips.
If only they knew just what sort of honor he meant for them.
-
Getting his one of them alone was much harder than Jaejoong thought. He couldn't seem to find a moment when they weren't accompanied by simply too many other people and he really didn't want to trick them or sneak up on them in their sleep.
Jaejoong wanted them to know what a pretty service he was doing them when he acted, but it didn't seem that it was going to happen.
Oh well, can't have everything I suppose…
Changmin he got to first, their youngest having finished his schedule first and Jaejoong pushing for second and it was just so easy to go up and.
"Sure, I'd love a ride back."
Jaejoong smiled.
-
Relax he'd said. Relax.
Go and lie down, I'll bring something in for you to eat. I'll bring you something snack on, you'd like that, right?
Changmin had nodded, eyes sore and red and puffy from too little sleep and too much makeup and not enough hours in a day. Jaejoong patted him sympathetically and he wandered into the kitchen, wondering just how to go about these things. Changmin, for one, deserved to see what end he'd come to. It was too beautiful an end- no, a treat- to miss because of something silly as sleep.
But sleep… Changmin needed it so much…
..and wouldn't a caring person give it to him forever?
-
He shook Changmin awake lightly and it didn't take much for the younger man to stir. He only got to a sleepy sort of daze before Jaejoong brushed palms against his shoulders and wrapped long fingers around a thin column of neck and squee-
It wasn't anything like Jaejoong had dreamed.
It was…better.
Changmin's eyes were dazed, open wide but quickly losing focus and a feral sort of grin crossed Jaejoong's features- "I'm doing this for you, you know. Such a pretty end. If you understood you would be thanking me, I'm sure."- and he twisted a little, applying just the right pressure and earned himself a little crack-pop that chased the lights from
Changmin's eyes. Jaejoong watched as they fled, holding Changmin up until all the light and bright heat that had once filled him were gone and Jaejoong could breathe again.
He arranged Changmin under the covers in a semblance of sleep and dropped a thistle-down kiss on his forehead, glancing back before he left.
Such a beautiful end for a beautiful boy and after all, wasn't that the best way to die? In the arms of one who loved you?
-
Yoochun was next, stumbling in with a tired voice and not much else to offer. Jaejoong seated him on the couch easily, rubbing his back in strong, soothing circles and slowly creeping up on his target.
Yoochun never suspected a thing and Jaejoong snapped his neck as easily as dry twigs underfoot. Yoochun's head lolled to the side, a marionette with cut strings and Jaejoong set him to lie down, covering him from neck to toes with a blanket. Jaejoong placed a soft kiss on his forehead, smoothing the hair away from his cooling skin.
Yoochun was certainly beautiful like this. Eyes fluttered closed and skin pale. Jaejoong was almost satisfied with the job he'd done.
He padded over to the kitchen, completely natural. Dinner, after all, would be in order when the others got back.
-
"Jae?"
Junsu came back, voice scratchy from a recent cold and too much work and Jaejoong greeted him at the door, ushering him into the kitchen. Junsu was always the best of them at hiding just how exhausted he felt, but Jaejoong could see the exhaustion painting the younger man's frame. It cast him in a dim yellow light, so far from the healthy white-hot brightness that they were all so used to.
Jaejoong wanted nothing at that moment but to help.
He seated Junsu at the table in the kitchen and set a steaming plate of food in front of him, coaxing the younger man into eating even a little while Jaejoong busied himself at his back washing dishes. They chatted little, words few and far between and Jaejoong waited, humming one of their songs idly.
Junsu was nearly falling asleep at the table, head bowed over the half-eaten dish and Jaejoong paused in his work of drying dishes.
"Junsu, would you like to go to sleep?"
The younger man nodded vaguely, apparently trying to rouse himself from his seat, but Jaejoong held him in place with a cool hand on his back.
"Good."
Jaejoong took the knife he'd just dried and plunged it smoothly into Junsu's back, stainless steel sliding through easily and cleaving skin, muscle and bone. Already to tired to struggle, Junsu sighed his death, slumping forward as before and Jaejoong's lips quirked up into a semblance of a smile far too sinister.
It was almost better than he-
-
Jaejoong woke from his nap with a start, grimace twisting his lips as an image of red on pale, pale skin filling his mind, inflaming his senses.
He shook his head and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, lifting his head to cast his gaze at the couch on the other side of the room where Yoochun's body lay cold. A vivid splash of red flashed through Jaejoong's mind, colored by that quiet, quiet sigh and he pursed his lips tightly.
"No, I can't think like that. It wouldn't be fair to the others. It wouldn't be fair to Yunho."
The mantra fell off his lips as a twisted sort of prayer.
"I mustn't think like that."
His heartbeat pounded in his ears. Sanguine perfection.
"I mustn't. It's not right."
Blood was beautiful and Junsu liked red, didn't he?
"No. I can't. It's not fair, not right and I shouldn't."
Keys jingled in the door, startling Jaejoong from his thoughts.
"Jae?"
Jaejoong hurried to the front door where Junsu was shrugging off his coat and shoes, cheeks flushed pink from the chill and the wind.
Blood.
"Jae? Are you alright? You look conflicted."
Jaejoong's sharp gaze snapped up to meet Junsu's concern, love set in those eyes.
Love. That's right. It's about love.
Junsu reached for him and Jaejoong's fingers curled tight. He struck out wildly, a spray of copper warmth wash over him and he blinked, eyes following in surprise as Junsu folded over gracefully, life leeching away from him, reflected in surprised eyes.
Jaejoong looked about wildly, uncomprehending until he caught the flash of sullied silver nestled in his grip, a tide of red washing over his feet. A chill crept into his bones, dark and sinister and he swallowed, wide-eyed.
It couldn’t be. It almost felt wrong, but-
He looked back at the growing pool of blood spreading dark and sticky over the polished wood floor, the sight quickly mesmerizing him. But still, the handle of the knife was heavy in his palm and-
Keys jingled in the door.
“Jae?”
Yunho stopped short in the door frame, eyes wide and uncomprehending, but that lasted only a second before shock and fear took over. He glanced at the knife in Jaejoong’s hand and realization spread over his features. He pushed forward, stepping over Junsu’s cold body at a run, searching for the others wildly, trying to wake them.
“What did you do, Jae? Just what the hell did you do?!”
Yunho repeated the line over and over again as he tried to shake the others awake, not wanting to believe that any of it had happened, breath coming in short, panicked bursts.
“What did you do?!”
Jaejoong closed his eyes, frustration threading through his veins. He dropped the blade with a wet clatter and stormed over to Yunho, strong hands gripping his arms tight, halting his movements.
“Don’t say that! don’t say it like that! I loved them okay? I love you! I did it because I love you! Why can’t you understand that! why don’t you see it! They’re beautiful like this, don’t you see, Yunho? Don’t tell me you can’t see it!”
There was fear, revulsion in Yunho’s eyes and Jaejoong hated it. Yunho didn’t understand and Jaejoong loved him so much. Shouldn’t he trust Jaejoong more? Shouldn’t he have understood? Jaejoong loved him.
A chord of tension snapped, falling lax, lost.
“Don’t you understand, Yunho? Don’t you love me? Can’t you see? I love you…”
He fainted.
Yunho didn’t catch him.
-
Jaejoong woke with his fingers crooked over thin air, the sounds of calm, even breaths echoing around him in sharp contrast the ones he drew into his own chest. He looked to his right and left wildly, leaping off the bed and shaking the others awake, panic in his eyes.
“Jae? What is it?”
Changmin snapped at him groggily, irritation inundating his voice.
Yoochun and Junsu lifted their heads to gaze at Jaejoong vaguely, still half asleep and Jaejoong shook his head, sitting on his bed wordlessly. No finger-shaped bruise-rings around necks, no red spilling from a wound of his making-
“Bad dream, Jae?”
Yunho’s voice was caring if a bit sleepy and Jaejoong gave him as shaky smile, nodding, gesturing for them all to go back to bed as he swung his legs under the thin cotton covers.
He closed his eyes, but sleep would not come, an incessant itch settling into his bones. He gripped the edge of his sheet. He closed his eyes, trying to stave it off, but the effort was futile. His eyes snapped open and he gazed at the sleeping forms around him, still and perfect.
Beautiful…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Comments are and always will be love~<3
Pairing: Jaejoong-centric OT5; slight jaeho
Genre: Horror
Rating: R
Warnings: disturbing imagery, dark themes, character death
Summary: Jaejoong loves and loves and believes they deserve only the best
A/N: Written for my creative writing horror story assignment. I still can't believe I turned a fanfic in...
Jaejoong loved Yunho.
Really, he did.
He had given everything up for Yunho. His family, his friends, his job even. Left them all behind for a man with sweet smiles and the key to his heart.
Jaejoong loved him, you see?
More than anything. More than everything.
And Yunho deserved the world to him.
-
They talked often, not necessarily about anything, but they talked often. They shared stresses and joys and sweet nothings and really, everything in between.
It was good, to talk like this, especially when living with three other roommates. There had to be trust.
…not that Jaejoong ever needed it. He trusted Yunho. He trusted all of them. They were the family that had picked him up when he was down and set him back to flying again. He would give his life and more for them and consequently he often took care of them with a sort of motherly air. He would cook for them, clean for them, cheer them up, and keep them on task.
Honestly, his heart was probably just as much theirs as Yunho's and he would never begrudge them that.
-
There were difficulties in being in a band, in living so closely with those you worked with, but somehow, they all fit together. There were few serious fights if any at all and really, they only ever got closer.
Jaejoong always wished them the best, no matter what, and really, wasn't that what love was?
-
"-and manager is really being driven up a wall, he can't handle the flood of bookings without insulting someone anymore, so I told him-"
"Yunho?' Jaejoong looked up at his lover sweetly and Yunho paused in his story, waiting with a cute expression that was reserved for Jaejoong.
"Yeah, Jae?"
"Can you just," Jaejoong felt strange, blood rushing in his ears and making him dizzy, giddy, "Stop?"
Perplexity passed over Yunho's features, "What? What do you mean by th-"
Jaejoong rose from his seat, and empty grin on his face.
"Just… stop."
And without another word he wrapped his hands around Yunho's thin neck and just squeezed.
He watched as life slipped from startled eyes with almost no resistance, a silent pleas of why? echoing through his head.
-
Jaejoong woke with his fingers crooked around thin air, chest heaving, the feeling of familiar skin against his palms.
He rolled over and brushed the sweaty hair from his eyes, thanking the fact that Yunho was in the next room that night at the same time that he found himself irritated, an itch in his bones.
The unforgettable feeling of life oozing out, leeching away between his fingertips crawled over his skin, consuming, whispering, creeping over him inch by inch by maddening inch into his heart, his hands…
It felt good.
He shook his head as the thought appeared. He mustn’t, mustn’t, mustn’t-
Just… stop.
He closed his eyes and dreamed of dimming lights tarnishing once-bright smiles.
-
"Joongie?"
Jaejoong jumped at Yunho's gentle tones, ash spilling from the butt of his cigarette and singeing little moth-holes in his too-white pants.
He still couldn't shake the feeling, couldn't stop the desire-
It felt like succumbing under the gentle tug of a river.
Felt goo-
"Thought you quit."
"..t-tried. I tried."
"You still can, you know, you were so close to-"
"Yunho? can you just," stop, "leave? I need some time, okay?"
Yunho was hesitant, but he nodded and slid the door shut behind him. Jaejoong let out the breath he hadn't meant to hold.
He itched, his fingertips twitching and he moved to take another drag of his dying cigarette but dropped it instead, watching the little embers die out glow dimming before just snuffing out.
Oh, how he wanted it, and really, he thought, a grin splitting his features, why couldn't he just… have it?
-
Jaejoong loved Yunho, truly, he did.
This is why he didn't just take what he wanted. Yunho didn't deserve a botched job- he deserved nothing less than the full and beautiful ending that Jaejoong dreamed of every night. Simply enough, Jaejoong needed practice before the real thing, but who to practice on?
It was a delicate situation. Jaejoong wasn't to be caught and he certainly couldn't waste such a precious end on just anyone. That alone eliminated strangers, eliminated the staff, even his own family, but who then was there to take from?
He set his eyes on his band members, relaxing in front of some romance film in their hours off.
A smile tugged at Jaejoong's lips.
If only they knew just what sort of honor he meant for them.
-
Getting his one of them alone was much harder than Jaejoong thought. He couldn't seem to find a moment when they weren't accompanied by simply too many other people and he really didn't want to trick them or sneak up on them in their sleep.
Jaejoong wanted them to know what a pretty service he was doing them when he acted, but it didn't seem that it was going to happen.
Oh well, can't have everything I suppose…
Changmin he got to first, their youngest having finished his schedule first and Jaejoong pushing for second and it was just so easy to go up and.
"Sure, I'd love a ride back."
Jaejoong smiled.
-
Relax he'd said. Relax.
Go and lie down, I'll bring something in for you to eat. I'll bring you something snack on, you'd like that, right?
Changmin had nodded, eyes sore and red and puffy from too little sleep and too much makeup and not enough hours in a day. Jaejoong patted him sympathetically and he wandered into the kitchen, wondering just how to go about these things. Changmin, for one, deserved to see what end he'd come to. It was too beautiful an end- no, a treat- to miss because of something silly as sleep.
But sleep… Changmin needed it so much…
..and wouldn't a caring person give it to him forever?
-
He shook Changmin awake lightly and it didn't take much for the younger man to stir. He only got to a sleepy sort of daze before Jaejoong brushed palms against his shoulders and wrapped long fingers around a thin column of neck and squee-
It wasn't anything like Jaejoong had dreamed.
It was…better.
Changmin's eyes were dazed, open wide but quickly losing focus and a feral sort of grin crossed Jaejoong's features- "I'm doing this for you, you know. Such a pretty end. If you understood you would be thanking me, I'm sure."- and he twisted a little, applying just the right pressure and earned himself a little crack-pop that chased the lights from
Changmin's eyes. Jaejoong watched as they fled, holding Changmin up until all the light and bright heat that had once filled him were gone and Jaejoong could breathe again.
He arranged Changmin under the covers in a semblance of sleep and dropped a thistle-down kiss on his forehead, glancing back before he left.
Such a beautiful end for a beautiful boy and after all, wasn't that the best way to die? In the arms of one who loved you?
-
Yoochun was next, stumbling in with a tired voice and not much else to offer. Jaejoong seated him on the couch easily, rubbing his back in strong, soothing circles and slowly creeping up on his target.
Yoochun never suspected a thing and Jaejoong snapped his neck as easily as dry twigs underfoot. Yoochun's head lolled to the side, a marionette with cut strings and Jaejoong set him to lie down, covering him from neck to toes with a blanket. Jaejoong placed a soft kiss on his forehead, smoothing the hair away from his cooling skin.
Yoochun was certainly beautiful like this. Eyes fluttered closed and skin pale. Jaejoong was almost satisfied with the job he'd done.
He padded over to the kitchen, completely natural. Dinner, after all, would be in order when the others got back.
-
"Jae?"
Junsu came back, voice scratchy from a recent cold and too much work and Jaejoong greeted him at the door, ushering him into the kitchen. Junsu was always the best of them at hiding just how exhausted he felt, but Jaejoong could see the exhaustion painting the younger man's frame. It cast him in a dim yellow light, so far from the healthy white-hot brightness that they were all so used to.
Jaejoong wanted nothing at that moment but to help.
He seated Junsu at the table in the kitchen and set a steaming plate of food in front of him, coaxing the younger man into eating even a little while Jaejoong busied himself at his back washing dishes. They chatted little, words few and far between and Jaejoong waited, humming one of their songs idly.
Junsu was nearly falling asleep at the table, head bowed over the half-eaten dish and Jaejoong paused in his work of drying dishes.
"Junsu, would you like to go to sleep?"
The younger man nodded vaguely, apparently trying to rouse himself from his seat, but Jaejoong held him in place with a cool hand on his back.
"Good."
Jaejoong took the knife he'd just dried and plunged it smoothly into Junsu's back, stainless steel sliding through easily and cleaving skin, muscle and bone. Already to tired to struggle, Junsu sighed his death, slumping forward as before and Jaejoong's lips quirked up into a semblance of a smile far too sinister.
It was almost better than he-
-
Jaejoong woke from his nap with a start, grimace twisting his lips as an image of red on pale, pale skin filling his mind, inflaming his senses.
He shook his head and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, lifting his head to cast his gaze at the couch on the other side of the room where Yoochun's body lay cold. A vivid splash of red flashed through Jaejoong's mind, colored by that quiet, quiet sigh and he pursed his lips tightly.
"No, I can't think like that. It wouldn't be fair to the others. It wouldn't be fair to Yunho."
The mantra fell off his lips as a twisted sort of prayer.
"I mustn't think like that."
His heartbeat pounded in his ears. Sanguine perfection.
"I mustn't. It's not right."
Blood was beautiful and Junsu liked red, didn't he?
"No. I can't. It's not fair, not right and I shouldn't."
Keys jingled in the door, startling Jaejoong from his thoughts.
"Jae?"
Jaejoong hurried to the front door where Junsu was shrugging off his coat and shoes, cheeks flushed pink from the chill and the wind.
Blood.
"Jae? Are you alright? You look conflicted."
Jaejoong's sharp gaze snapped up to meet Junsu's concern, love set in those eyes.
Love. That's right. It's about love.
Junsu reached for him and Jaejoong's fingers curled tight. He struck out wildly, a spray of copper warmth wash over him and he blinked, eyes following in surprise as Junsu folded over gracefully, life leeching away from him, reflected in surprised eyes.
Jaejoong looked about wildly, uncomprehending until he caught the flash of sullied silver nestled in his grip, a tide of red washing over his feet. A chill crept into his bones, dark and sinister and he swallowed, wide-eyed.
It couldn’t be. It almost felt wrong, but-
He looked back at the growing pool of blood spreading dark and sticky over the polished wood floor, the sight quickly mesmerizing him. But still, the handle of the knife was heavy in his palm and-
Keys jingled in the door.
“Jae?”
Yunho stopped short in the door frame, eyes wide and uncomprehending, but that lasted only a second before shock and fear took over. He glanced at the knife in Jaejoong’s hand and realization spread over his features. He pushed forward, stepping over Junsu’s cold body at a run, searching for the others wildly, trying to wake them.
“What did you do, Jae? Just what the hell did you do?!”
Yunho repeated the line over and over again as he tried to shake the others awake, not wanting to believe that any of it had happened, breath coming in short, panicked bursts.
“What did you do?!”
Jaejoong closed his eyes, frustration threading through his veins. He dropped the blade with a wet clatter and stormed over to Yunho, strong hands gripping his arms tight, halting his movements.
“Don’t say that! don’t say it like that! I loved them okay? I love you! I did it because I love you! Why can’t you understand that! why don’t you see it! They’re beautiful like this, don’t you see, Yunho? Don’t tell me you can’t see it!”
There was fear, revulsion in Yunho’s eyes and Jaejoong hated it. Yunho didn’t understand and Jaejoong loved him so much. Shouldn’t he trust Jaejoong more? Shouldn’t he have understood? Jaejoong loved him.
A chord of tension snapped, falling lax, lost.
“Don’t you understand, Yunho? Don’t you love me? Can’t you see? I love you…”
He fainted.
Yunho didn’t catch him.
-
Jaejoong woke with his fingers crooked over thin air, the sounds of calm, even breaths echoing around him in sharp contrast the ones he drew into his own chest. He looked to his right and left wildly, leaping off the bed and shaking the others awake, panic in his eyes.
“Jae? What is it?”
Changmin snapped at him groggily, irritation inundating his voice.
Yoochun and Junsu lifted their heads to gaze at Jaejoong vaguely, still half asleep and Jaejoong shook his head, sitting on his bed wordlessly. No finger-shaped bruise-rings around necks, no red spilling from a wound of his making-
“Bad dream, Jae?”
Yunho’s voice was caring if a bit sleepy and Jaejoong gave him as shaky smile, nodding, gesturing for them all to go back to bed as he swung his legs under the thin cotton covers.
He closed his eyes, but sleep would not come, an incessant itch settling into his bones. He gripped the edge of his sheet. He closed his eyes, trying to stave it off, but the effort was futile. His eyes snapped open and he gazed at the sleeping forms around him, still and perfect.
Beautiful…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Comments are and always will be love~<3