(no subject)
Just so everyone knows, this rant isnt to cause drama, im over that shit, its more or less to drag my ass out of it al the way. Yeah, I had one of those, um, I cant think of the name, but its when a big deep though comes to ur head while your experienceing something, and you come to realization. I was gone from my computer, and tyler (yeah I said the name, fuck saying "someoen" or "you know who you are, thast just stupid) had been IM-ing me, something along the lines of "I KNOW UR THERE! ANSWER ME!" and for those few seconds that I saw the message, adn realized who it was from,a million thoughts ran through me head,and it hit me: I dont want to answer this person. Ive alwaysed answered this person. Ive been in his shoes, Ive been on the other side screaming "WHERE ARE YOU? ANSWER ME!" crying and on the edge, but where was he? And when confronted later, he replied "I didnt feel like talking". But, I always replyed, and I did at that moment to. But, if I hadnt answered, that person would have probly got angry. And bitched at me like he does alot when I do stuff like that. But what about me? If I was to get mad, who cares, he didnt feel like it. I guess thats what I get. I always try to help people, make them feel better, try to care for their problems, and I guess I have to except the fact that even the people I though I mattered to so much, i just dont matter like I though I did. When it came down to lit, lol, they didnt care. Sometimes they did, but not always. When I will always be there for everyone, even people that alwasy matterd the most, I guess Im just there. There to be yelled at, there to take their anger and someone else, there to be yeleld at for shit I didnt do, and I cant defend myself, oh no, then they get even madder. Fuck them. Ill always be there, one way or another, but just think about that next time you need to talk to me so bad, I am, and probly wil one day, am capable of doind just like you, ignoring someone i act like is so dear to me, ignoring how bad they feel, just becaue i dont feel like it. If I did that, I wouldnt be Alison, I wouldnt be an angel like people tell me I am, but I at least ask for the same in return...fuck it...fuck you...ive spoken. Ill always loev you hun, but Im not always gonna be there if your not for me, thats just a weird spending of time. THAT WAS MY RANT FOR TODAY.
Anyway, yay, i cant wait till tomarow. Ill proboy just mosh to one song, if theyplay it, and probly just run around laurel with Kensey the whole time. We have so many adventures! Yay for weird buildng withwalls that cant make up their minds!...I guess thats all actualyl...lol...
Anyway, yay, i cant wait till tomarow. Ill proboy just mosh to one song, if theyplay it, and probly just run around laurel with Kensey the whole time. We have so many adventures! Yay for weird buildng withwalls that cant make up their minds!...I guess thats all actualyl...lol...