Just a little insite to this head ov her's...
crazyness in her eyes this feeling must be destroyed or it will destroy her. No feeling no nothing just empty and dark. Is she even alive? If she is dead does it realy matter and who would realy remember and for how long. She feels others about here and there but personaly they were not known. Does it even matter if they arent embraced maybe thats all they want is to be embraced, maybe they are lonley as well and just want to feel again. Maybe that journy in life to find that good place landed them with enternity ov looking for it. In this world and others to come, over and over and over. A big circle. That is life, it isn't just a food chain, its life. Whome ever invented the wheel also found the answer to life. That is the big important answer. and life isn't even that interesting once you have figued it out you have to just live till you time is up cause its so very bad to end it yourself. Man! what a jip! this whole belife system, what if we just stopped believeing in every thing that is more than 100 years old, where would we be, how would we act, would there be less crazy people in the world? She lays in bed and thinks ov this crap over and over, she could go on and on and never stop, never sleep. This crap in her head that is pure and utter crap. She gets anoyed by people being followers but in fact she is as well. Believeing in the things she believes she is following some one, so who the hell decided following was bad? probably the one who straggled behind and now all ov us that hate followers are following that person. AAHHH!!! on and on and on.
She loves to smoke. Here's a bit on death (since I am so damn infatuated any how, lets rant about that) People say that smoking drinking or pretty much ov any thing in a larg amout that is fun is bad for you, but why the heck should we even care. We are all trying to run away from death when in all reality it is inevitable. Death will always occure, fact. Why not just live realy live and when you get out ov here into where ever it is we go we can say, wow, that was fun and it made me happy. Sure the final out come may suck ass for awhile (the dying part) but hey out ov a life time (how ever long that may be for the indevidual) ov fun and happiness, what is a little more pain for a few days to a couple months, the drugs they have now, why would any one want Kavorkian back, just die high. And as for if there is a heaven or hell and the question we all wounder quietly to ourselves whether we believe or not, which one am I going to go to, up or down, inside out. Here's what she thinks. She however can not say if the God and devil thing is true nor false, but she can say it has been proven that energy needs to go some where and where it goes when we die ("They don't go to heaven where the angels fly They go down to the lake of fire and fry Won't see them again 'till the fourth of July") OOPS of track. But realy, the government says we as one person would cost over 4 hundred thousand dollars if we were to be sold for our energy that we give off alone. Well, there's some thing to ponder, but still have no answer and this has been know to her for about 7 years. 7 years as opposed to how old life realy is, man, she may as well still be just a twinkle in her mothers eye. Now with all ov this she wonders why she has trouble getting to sleep. She has to lay in bed and watch movie after movie just so she can atleast in less than two houres there will be a final out come to some thing. an ending to a life that has been created for entertainment purposes. ............ entertainment purposes...movies, we create lives that are good in the beginning, whith in 30 minutes its bad and needs resolvement (is that even a word) then in the last 45 min. everthing is at a final out come and bam the end. When is some one going to make a movie that lasts a life time? or even write a book for all your life, a series if you will till you die, same caracters, a book that lasts a life time so some brilliant child can grow up reading them starting out with childrens books then write the pre teen then teen then adolecent and so on. Now there another million dollar idea that will go to wast, (she gets one atleast every day) but realy think about that, I would so raise my child on some thing like that. Come on, in reality it would be great and familiar, we could turn to the books as remembering a friend. Every one would grow up with a family. Every one would have guidence and questions answerd, we could use it as a referance guied before we make decitions at the age ov 30. MAN! what an idea. 'The Humans Guied To Life'. Sure you could still have all your other books to learn from but atleast we could stop watching crap like LifeTime and MTV. The true reality book, screw the t.v. shows. O ya must stop with that idea. Love, there was some thing that was heard in these ears from yes, a movie. A very lame movie in fact but this little ditty about love and being with a person realy made sence:
"When you are with some one and commit to sharing a life together for always, there will be a time when the world will be seen full ov beautiful beings that seem to be more intruiging than what you have, but what you have is true security and you will always have that one person to hold, to touch, to talk to".
Now that may not have been word for word but in truth, it is so real. When you have found that right some one, don't take it for granted, use it. Look and see the world but realy its not worth touching, you may just end up with nothing at all. Life is about risk yes, but take it with the friend. O and the word and meaning ov friend is soooo misused! Friend, one to confide in, one to trust, one that is there no matter what to lift you on high and wip your tears. How hard is it realy to just trust another human being. Friends are lost to words and misunderstandings every day. How hard is it realy to just be nice to the one's that stick by you through any decition made. Trust? cant realy comment on that one, don't realy have an oppinion on it yet. Been hurt alot. But there's the point, if we all were just CONSIDERATE to the people that we make friends with and NOT JUDGMENTAL there would be alot less people alone in the world. Notice the words every one was not used in the above statment? that would be pushing the envelope.
ok, shes done for the moment.
She loves to smoke. Here's a bit on death (since I am so damn infatuated any how, lets rant about that) People say that smoking drinking or pretty much ov any thing in a larg amout that is fun is bad for you, but why the heck should we even care. We are all trying to run away from death when in all reality it is inevitable. Death will always occure, fact. Why not just live realy live and when you get out ov here into where ever it is we go we can say, wow, that was fun and it made me happy. Sure the final out come may suck ass for awhile (the dying part) but hey out ov a life time (how ever long that may be for the indevidual) ov fun and happiness, what is a little more pain for a few days to a couple months, the drugs they have now, why would any one want Kavorkian back, just die high. And as for if there is a heaven or hell and the question we all wounder quietly to ourselves whether we believe or not, which one am I going to go to, up or down, inside out. Here's what she thinks. She however can not say if the God and devil thing is true nor false, but she can say it has been proven that energy needs to go some where and where it goes when we die ("They don't go to heaven where the angels fly They go down to the lake of fire and fry Won't see them again 'till the fourth of July") OOPS of track. But realy, the government says we as one person would cost over 4 hundred thousand dollars if we were to be sold for our energy that we give off alone. Well, there's some thing to ponder, but still have no answer and this has been know to her for about 7 years. 7 years as opposed to how old life realy is, man, she may as well still be just a twinkle in her mothers eye. Now with all ov this she wonders why she has trouble getting to sleep. She has to lay in bed and watch movie after movie just so she can atleast in less than two houres there will be a final out come to some thing. an ending to a life that has been created for entertainment purposes. ............ entertainment purposes...movies, we create lives that are good in the beginning, whith in 30 minutes its bad and needs resolvement (is that even a word) then in the last 45 min. everthing is at a final out come and bam the end. When is some one going to make a movie that lasts a life time? or even write a book for all your life, a series if you will till you die, same caracters, a book that lasts a life time so some brilliant child can grow up reading them starting out with childrens books then write the pre teen then teen then adolecent and so on. Now there another million dollar idea that will go to wast, (she gets one atleast every day) but realy think about that, I would so raise my child on some thing like that. Come on, in reality it would be great and familiar, we could turn to the books as remembering a friend. Every one would grow up with a family. Every one would have guidence and questions answerd, we could use it as a referance guied before we make decitions at the age ov 30. MAN! what an idea. 'The Humans Guied To Life'. Sure you could still have all your other books to learn from but atleast we could stop watching crap like LifeTime and MTV. The true reality book, screw the t.v. shows. O ya must stop with that idea. Love, there was some thing that was heard in these ears from yes, a movie. A very lame movie in fact but this little ditty about love and being with a person realy made sence:
"When you are with some one and commit to sharing a life together for always, there will be a time when the world will be seen full ov beautiful beings that seem to be more intruiging than what you have, but what you have is true security and you will always have that one person to hold, to touch, to talk to".
Now that may not have been word for word but in truth, it is so real. When you have found that right some one, don't take it for granted, use it. Look and see the world but realy its not worth touching, you may just end up with nothing at all. Life is about risk yes, but take it with the friend. O and the word and meaning ov friend is soooo misused! Friend, one to confide in, one to trust, one that is there no matter what to lift you on high and wip your tears. How hard is it realy to just trust another human being. Friends are lost to words and misunderstandings every day. How hard is it realy to just be nice to the one's that stick by you through any decition made. Trust? cant realy comment on that one, don't realy have an oppinion on it yet. Been hurt alot. But there's the point, if we all were just CONSIDERATE to the people that we make friends with and NOT JUDGMENTAL there would be alot less people alone in the world. Notice the words every one was not used in the above statment? that would be pushing the envelope.
ok, shes done for the moment.