Hmm...
I am... What am I right now? I am confused. Yes that is a good start. I am perplexed. Mhm, good good keep it coming. I am discontent. I am angry. I am scared half to death. I am a very mixed up jumble of emotions. To make matters worse I haven't spoken to her all day long. I have sat here for the last hour in keys willing my phone to go off. I guess I keep hoping for a text that makes this all go away. Who would have thunk I would put myself into this position willingly and strive through it all like the best of them. The anger has quickly faded into understanding and comprehension so for that I am thankful. Despite how badly I have wanted to text all day, I have not. I am waiting for her to come to me and it is driving me up a damn wall. I am not sure how much longer I can last.
I didn't sleep last night worth a shit. She asked me to have faith in her. I have no faith in humanity as it were how am I supposed to have faith in one person? I know how negative that sounds and I do not give one ounce of a shit. I have never had faith in people and I was already starting to develop that emotion towards her. Now I must give in completely to a blind faith and pray that this isn't the end of something so new and amazing. I do not think I will survive that emotionally. I think that might kill a part or two of me off. I am petrified as to what the future will bring me, but I will remain vigilant and continue striving for success. I am wishing for the best at this point really.
Faith. I will try.
That is all that can be asked of me, especially right this explicit second.
I am stressed to high heaven. I am unsure what tonight will bring to me.
School went really well despite all of this mess. I am handling math class beautifully. I have a shit ton of homework to do though. I have all weekend long to get it done though. I am pretty excited. I have zero plans for this weekend except catch up on sleep. Gonna be amazing. Plans I had made are gonna fall through which works out great for me. I am pretty happy about that honestly. Is it bad I want to use that as an excuse to try and get her to talk to me instead of leaving me on this dark little island that I feel is sinking? Ugh how annoying...
I do not think my phone has been this quiet in a long time. This is just strange...
I didn't sleep last night worth a shit. She asked me to have faith in her. I have no faith in humanity as it were how am I supposed to have faith in one person? I know how negative that sounds and I do not give one ounce of a shit. I have never had faith in people and I was already starting to develop that emotion towards her. Now I must give in completely to a blind faith and pray that this isn't the end of something so new and amazing. I do not think I will survive that emotionally. I think that might kill a part or two of me off. I am petrified as to what the future will bring me, but I will remain vigilant and continue striving for success. I am wishing for the best at this point really.
Faith. I will try.
That is all that can be asked of me, especially right this explicit second.
I am stressed to high heaven. I am unsure what tonight will bring to me.
School went really well despite all of this mess. I am handling math class beautifully. I have a shit ton of homework to do though. I have all weekend long to get it done though. I am pretty excited. I have zero plans for this weekend except catch up on sleep. Gonna be amazing. Plans I had made are gonna fall through which works out great for me. I am pretty happy about that honestly. Is it bad I want to use that as an excuse to try and get her to talk to me instead of leaving me on this dark little island that I feel is sinking? Ugh how annoying...
I do not think my phone has been this quiet in a long time. This is just strange...