Say goodbye to your sorrow and hello to tomorrow.
I've come to a few realisations over the past few days amongst my hectic schedules and they've actually made me feel a little better and realise just how much I've changed in the past year.
I'm in Hull now, I don't think I mentioned that in my last entry because it was so long ago. I left Glasgow on thursday and it was a very surreal experience. I found myself not wanting to leave. As much as I like to bitch and moan about the place and how I'm so unhappy because boys aren't interested in me, Glasgow is my home and I love it to bits. I love the friends I've made there and couldn't imagine being anywhere else right now. Uni is good and if I can pull my socks up I'll be fine. I just need to balance everything out and for fucks sake, stop looking for love in all the wrong places. I'm 21, it's time to have fun. I missed out in the past few years.
Being back in Hull after a year is a strange affair. I think all the hatred I bear towards the place in itself is quite ridiculous. It's not the worst place in the world and it could be a much bigger shit hole. What it comes down to is not that I hate Hull but the fact that I was unhappy here for other reasons. I was still in the closet when I left, well mostly, only out to a few people. Moving to Glasgow opened up a whole new world to me because I could just be myself and not worry about what people might think of me. Now that I'm back I dont know why I was so afraid in the first place. I dont care about what people think of me, in all honesty they can go and fuck themselves. I went out with Vicky on the night I came back and it was fine, just a couple of old friends catching up and having a few drinks. The same people that would have made me uncomfortable a few years ago were just completely dead to me. In fact I had hoped I'd run in to some people from shcool, but alas it was not to be, maybe on thursday when we go to Fuel. w00t.
Another thing I realised is when I was looking at photos in my 'rents house I was actually smiling, in fact the family portrait in paticular amused me because I dont quite remember it. All I associate this house and this city with is being miserable but I guess it wasn't even that bad to a certain extent.
Went to stay with my sister friday and saturday night in Nottingham and had a blast. I love my sister and I think I've said this before, being there with her and Lloyd is just like another home. We were talking and it's like, we're not just siblings, we're friends. Don't quite know what I'm going to do when she emmigrates next year. :/
Had a few awesome meals, a thai restaurant when the parentals stayed over on Nottingham friday night which included me and Lloyd pissing about and making sexual innuendo after sexual innuendo and making my parents very uncomfortable. Fun times. :D Hehe. Then on saturday after my parents left we went for a meal at China China which was amazing, although it should have been for the price, then stopped by the casino before finally teh city of the Rock, or more commonly known as Rock City. Love that place as much as the Catty. Sure they're both dives but the atmosphere is great. My sister and I got incredibly drunk and were feeling very worse for wear this morning. Lloyd kept pointing out ugly men for me as a joke, "I think that guy is your standard, right? Oh look and he has a handbag." *cackle* Kirsty, one of the bar staff from the Speakeasy was really nice to me and got me to dance around like a loon. Aww. Sometimes I just love people.
Got the bus back to Hull today and shall be here until thursday. Two days of christmasness to come and then lots of sleeping before Fuel on wednesday night and my train at 6:30 on thursday morning when I'll probably still be drunk. Awesome.
I'm in Hull now, I don't think I mentioned that in my last entry because it was so long ago. I left Glasgow on thursday and it was a very surreal experience. I found myself not wanting to leave. As much as I like to bitch and moan about the place and how I'm so unhappy because boys aren't interested in me, Glasgow is my home and I love it to bits. I love the friends I've made there and couldn't imagine being anywhere else right now. Uni is good and if I can pull my socks up I'll be fine. I just need to balance everything out and for fucks sake, stop looking for love in all the wrong places. I'm 21, it's time to have fun. I missed out in the past few years.
Being back in Hull after a year is a strange affair. I think all the hatred I bear towards the place in itself is quite ridiculous. It's not the worst place in the world and it could be a much bigger shit hole. What it comes down to is not that I hate Hull but the fact that I was unhappy here for other reasons. I was still in the closet when I left, well mostly, only out to a few people. Moving to Glasgow opened up a whole new world to me because I could just be myself and not worry about what people might think of me. Now that I'm back I dont know why I was so afraid in the first place. I dont care about what people think of me, in all honesty they can go and fuck themselves. I went out with Vicky on the night I came back and it was fine, just a couple of old friends catching up and having a few drinks. The same people that would have made me uncomfortable a few years ago were just completely dead to me. In fact I had hoped I'd run in to some people from shcool, but alas it was not to be, maybe on thursday when we go to Fuel. w00t.
Another thing I realised is when I was looking at photos in my 'rents house I was actually smiling, in fact the family portrait in paticular amused me because I dont quite remember it. All I associate this house and this city with is being miserable but I guess it wasn't even that bad to a certain extent.
Went to stay with my sister friday and saturday night in Nottingham and had a blast. I love my sister and I think I've said this before, being there with her and Lloyd is just like another home. We were talking and it's like, we're not just siblings, we're friends. Don't quite know what I'm going to do when she emmigrates next year. :/
Had a few awesome meals, a thai restaurant when the parentals stayed over on Nottingham friday night which included me and Lloyd pissing about and making sexual innuendo after sexual innuendo and making my parents very uncomfortable. Fun times. :D Hehe. Then on saturday after my parents left we went for a meal at China China which was amazing, although it should have been for the price, then stopped by the casino before finally teh city of the Rock, or more commonly known as Rock City. Love that place as much as the Catty. Sure they're both dives but the atmosphere is great. My sister and I got incredibly drunk and were feeling very worse for wear this morning. Lloyd kept pointing out ugly men for me as a joke, "I think that guy is your standard, right? Oh look and he has a handbag." *cackle* Kirsty, one of the bar staff from the Speakeasy was really nice to me and got me to dance around like a loon. Aww. Sometimes I just love people.
Got the bus back to Hull today and shall be here until thursday. Two days of christmasness to come and then lots of sleeping before Fuel on wednesday night and my train at 6:30 on thursday morning when I'll probably still be drunk. Awesome.