Dr. Toughlove or: How I tought Patrick to stop worrying and love the Obama.
I have a coworker named Patrick, he is a loveable doofus, a 30 something who lives at home with his parents. Every day Patrick comes in to work, tells me how many video games he's bought, and then after discussing his love for first person shooters for about an hour, the talk always goes to politics.
Patricks view of politics is pretty much the "Suck it Libs" view. He feels that he is looked down on because he is something like a 100th generation republican, I'm pretty sure his great grandfather voted for Lincoln. He is not a racist, or religious, he just thinks that the democrats will take away his guns, I just trade guns for porn and I can see his point of view.
He also listens to Glenn Beck on the drive in, Rush if he's running late, and believes that Fox News is not only fair and balanced, they report more on the liberal side to make up for the media backlash. He also came in the day after McCain picked Palin and spent 30 minutes gushing about how it was a brilliant idea.
In other words his arguments kill about 3 hours of my day.
So Thursday he was pointing at Fox News and telling me McCain is likely to win. I gave him my standard "The only way McCain can win at this point is if Obama goes on stage wearing a Suicide Bomb Outfit while eating a baby" argument, and then I tried a different approach.
"Voting for Obama will save the Republican Party"
I've noticed as have several others that the republican party is splitting into two parties, the Fiscal republicans and the Social Republicans, one wants less government and deregulation, the other wants Gays to not get married. They tolerated each other until now but the growing number of Obamacons is showing how much they are splitting off.
I then gave him a quick lesson in the Dixiecrats
It went from there, down a path of the Civil Rights Movement, George Wallice and LBJ and how since then not a single democrat has not won the white house unless he was from a southern state.
I then had to explain to him that no, Nixon was not a Democrat.
No, I'm not kidding.
I then told him that all those Red Southern States, have a history of turning on their party when single issues are not met. The God, Guns and Glory crowd is a historically fickle crowd.
I then asked him if he would honestly be ok with Palin as president, he told me he would rather have her in the white house for a year or two then Obama in for 4, but there is no way he would vote for her in 2012. He conceded there is no way in hell a 76 year old McCain would run for president.
I told him that the Nascar Republicans loves her, it would be amazingly unlikely that she would not run for president in 2012 even if McCain makes it four years. I also showed him the list of Latte sipping Republicans in suits that would do anything to keep her from winning. The party of Ronald Reagan would be dead and the defection of republicans to either a third party, or the libertarian party would be huge, and history shows us a third party candidate can't win an election.
I told Patrick that in 2016 he would probably be voting Whig or something.
I tried to get him to vote for Bob Barr, because he is really a Libertarian anyhow, but he refuses to vote for someone who can't win.
No, again, not kidding.
I then told him I would leave him with one thing, because I wouldn't see him before election day. (He's one of those people who work split week shifts and I had Friday off.) When he's standing in front of that Touch Screen, I want him to close his eyes, take a deep breath, and say "President Palin".
I'm pretty sure he's going to vote for Obama.
Patricks view of politics is pretty much the "Suck it Libs" view. He feels that he is looked down on because he is something like a 100th generation republican, I'm pretty sure his great grandfather voted for Lincoln. He is not a racist, or religious, he just thinks that the democrats will take away his guns, I just trade guns for porn and I can see his point of view.
He also listens to Glenn Beck on the drive in, Rush if he's running late, and believes that Fox News is not only fair and balanced, they report more on the liberal side to make up for the media backlash. He also came in the day after McCain picked Palin and spent 30 minutes gushing about how it was a brilliant idea.
In other words his arguments kill about 3 hours of my day.
So Thursday he was pointing at Fox News and telling me McCain is likely to win. I gave him my standard "The only way McCain can win at this point is if Obama goes on stage wearing a Suicide Bomb Outfit while eating a baby" argument, and then I tried a different approach.
"Voting for Obama will save the Republican Party"
I've noticed as have several others that the republican party is splitting into two parties, the Fiscal republicans and the Social Republicans, one wants less government and deregulation, the other wants Gays to not get married. They tolerated each other until now but the growing number of Obamacons is showing how much they are splitting off.
I then gave him a quick lesson in the Dixiecrats
It went from there, down a path of the Civil Rights Movement, George Wallice and LBJ and how since then not a single democrat has not won the white house unless he was from a southern state.
I then had to explain to him that no, Nixon was not a Democrat.
No, I'm not kidding.
I then told him that all those Red Southern States, have a history of turning on their party when single issues are not met. The God, Guns and Glory crowd is a historically fickle crowd.
I then asked him if he would honestly be ok with Palin as president, he told me he would rather have her in the white house for a year or two then Obama in for 4, but there is no way he would vote for her in 2012. He conceded there is no way in hell a 76 year old McCain would run for president.
I told him that the Nascar Republicans loves her, it would be amazingly unlikely that she would not run for president in 2012 even if McCain makes it four years. I also showed him the list of Latte sipping Republicans in suits that would do anything to keep her from winning. The party of Ronald Reagan would be dead and the defection of republicans to either a third party, or the libertarian party would be huge, and history shows us a third party candidate can't win an election.
I told Patrick that in 2016 he would probably be voting Whig or something.
I tried to get him to vote for Bob Barr, because he is really a Libertarian anyhow, but he refuses to vote for someone who can't win.
No, again, not kidding.
I then told him I would leave him with one thing, because I wouldn't see him before election day. (He's one of those people who work split week shifts and I had Friday off.) When he's standing in front of that Touch Screen, I want him to close his eyes, take a deep breath, and say "President Palin".
I'm pretty sure he's going to vote for Obama.