On Double Standards and the Age of Consent

[darklotus1211]

I've been pondering on this subject for quite some time, and I just thought I'd put it out for others to consider and hopefully discuss in a rational manner -

This is a subject that could be quite emotive, I realise, but I hope no one flames me for posting on it - I mean no offence to anyone.

There have been more than a few instances of people having

Comments

[laurielover1912]

Oh this is such a tricky one, and so so timely on my part (I'll tell you why in a PM).

18 seems to be the magic number in HP fandom and I usually put in an active discouragement for anyone under that age going near my stories.

As for the student/teacher thing. Argh. I beat myself up about it regularly, but I still find it very very erotic if the student in question is mature and sensible (and normally in my stories, Hermione is more mature than Snape). I always try to make her as old as possible (ie nineteen). We are fortunate in that Hermione has a September birthday and therefore is always that bit older throughout the school year. For example, she is already eighteen for nearly all of DH.

I am not sure of the legality of a teacher having a relationship with a student who is eighteen. It is definitely a sackable offence (and I think that is also the case at college and uni even if the student is 22). But I can name at least a dozen teachers (admittedly, I know a lot of teachers) I know who have had relationships with their students, many of whom have gone on to get married and have children. It happens. A lot. I am not entirely sure I agree with it - it takes a very special and mature student and an equally special teacher to make something which has arisen out of such a situation work. Hermione and Snape just about get away with it considering all they've been through. The dynamics are so so erotic though - I can't deny it. And we all remember crushes we had on teachers.

This doesn't really address your point about double standards. I remember when I first came into fandom I thought it was a bit weird. Many sites say that if both parties are sixteen to eighteen, it's fine.

More later. x

[darklotus1211]

Putting adult filters or restrictions on to prevent or discourage young impressionable people reading or viewing adult material, when they have little or no life experience to compare these things to is not a problem in my eyes - children need to be protected so their development isn't impaired.

That is understandable and quite reasonable in my eyes. Especially when it comes to graphic violence or sex, or anything that could incite hatred against others.

These are subjects that should to be introduced in a balanced, gradual, age and developmentally appropriate way.

As to legalities of teachers and pupils - I think that it's not illegal once the pupil is 18, although it's considered a breach of ethics over that age, and hence a sackable offence - for many good reasons. Like you , though, I've known quite a few teachers who have had relationships with adult students.

I actually had a friend that was reprimanded for having a relationship with a former student (nothing had gone on while they were this person's student) that developed over a year after that student had left the university. They were spotted by one of the lecturer's colleague, who promptly dobbed them in.

The university in question couldn't actually do anything about it, but the person had to keep it very discreet from then on if they wanted to continue there. That relationship was very successful, and they were together for over ten years. Personally, I couldn't see why the university was so up in arms about it, as it was proven that nothing had gone on while the younger partner had been a student there, or even directly after they'd graduated (they'd actually left the country and travelled with their then fiance for a year after graduating, and proved it).

The student/teacher thing really is a common turn on amongst adults, even those who didn't have the odd crush on a teacher as a younger person - it's the dynamics of it and the fact that it's rawwwwther naughty that appeals. Finding this fantasy appealing doesn't mean that the people involved approve of it in real life, as you know.

As we all know (I hope), things we'd often never contemplate in real life can be quite titillating as a fantasy - all the thrill with none of the complications or consequences... ain't it fun?!

[laurielover1912]

That's why I'm here. And I generally write about people who are in control of their emotions and their decisions. Long live the fantasy.

I am a little perplexed at your tale of the discipline taken against the lecturer when his relationship with a former student was revealed. That really is unnecessary. If they didn't start anything until well after she had left I really don't see what business it is of theirs.