(no subject)
the migraine won't die. i just took another muscle relaxer but what i really need is a good hardcore scalp massage. bleh.
so, no matter what the case may be i mishandle every boy related situation. no matter which boy, what emotion or which way the emotion goes, i fuck it up. i totally drop the ball.
i like a boy waaaay more than he likes me and pine over him for two years, lose all sense of self worth and/or identity.
this boy kind of digs me, i don't know how i feel and eventually because we have nothing in common it fades away. i get a little bitter but eh, it happens.
then this boy really likes me, but i'm still hung up on boy number one and am just totally fucking selfish and can't even committ to what i'm going to have for dinner let alone to a relationship right now and...before it even starts it's out the window.
yeah, i'm totally emotionally vacant right now. i keep fooling myself into thinking that i can balance love, work and school. but you know what, fuck it. i can barely balance one of those at a time.
and school wins out now.
'sides, i'm going to marry this kid mike from cultzero. (not wong) he lives in vegas so that saves half the expense right there, twenty bucks and a drive up elvis chapel we're set.
yeeehaw.
so, no matter what the case may be i mishandle every boy related situation. no matter which boy, what emotion or which way the emotion goes, i fuck it up. i totally drop the ball.
i like a boy waaaay more than he likes me and pine over him for two years, lose all sense of self worth and/or identity.
this boy kind of digs me, i don't know how i feel and eventually because we have nothing in common it fades away. i get a little bitter but eh, it happens.
then this boy really likes me, but i'm still hung up on boy number one and am just totally fucking selfish and can't even committ to what i'm going to have for dinner let alone to a relationship right now and...before it even starts it's out the window.
yeah, i'm totally emotionally vacant right now. i keep fooling myself into thinking that i can balance love, work and school. but you know what, fuck it. i can barely balance one of those at a time.
and school wins out now.
'sides, i'm going to marry this kid mike from cultzero. (not wong) he lives in vegas so that saves half the expense right there, twenty bucks and a drive up elvis chapel we're set.
yeeehaw.