(no subject)
well yeah just like the subject says. i havent posted in a long time so i guess ill do that right now. i dont have hw anymore (thankz god finals are over but that means sat and driving test studying begins). im just going to rant about watever is going on in my mind and this is probably going to be long just cause i want to type (i need practice and i mean a lot of it) and two cause i just want to rant about stuff in my life (even though i wouldnt call it that). if you dont have the time or dont want to read random ranting then u should just keep reading cause u will anyway. if you want to stop hey it is a free country, do watever the hell u want (well that is if ur 21 and older).
well i hope it will be long ><. i kinda feel bad. it is like the only reason i have a live journal is just to download stuff. i dont really have much to post. my life isnt that great or exciting. okay first subject (actually second if you count the sentence and paragraph before) school and finals. well this year i was suprised to find that i dont give a shit about my finals. hahahaha. well not too much. my hardest final truely was my math and rop which i hope i got at least a b or c in butttttt who cares. the others werent so bad. i totally did not care for spanish even though i kinda did study. i think im probably going to get two b's, rop and spanish. im hoping really hard for an -a in math but if i dont get it, i can live with it. science final was a joke and so was the english. if you are in ms. reynolds class and u failed the final, i feel bad for you. i was sort of worry about it but not. my ceramics project is FINALLY done sort of. it really didnt come out like i wanted it to but it is alright. it still has ears even though they arent huge like i wanted them to be. gosh i think that was the one final that made me worri about the most even though it is only art. i love that class it is my fav class this year. it was so scary. every night before i went to bed i would think about how to fix stuff on it and how to add stuff on it. it was horrible. i stayed afterschool on thurs and friday just to finish. and because i had to stay late i had to walk home which wasnt too bad. it is good to go on a walk once in a while but it was kinda lonely wen u go by urself. i had to go by the post office to pick up papers for renewing my ...um..wats it called....*brain fart* my passport there you go. so yeah. the walk was refreshing. on the last day of finals wen i got home i ate and went to bed. gosh that felt good. no homework, no quizes, no test. gosh that was the life. i kinda feel bad for all those juniors that are ripping their heads off with worry about colleges and stuff and grades and classes, while i just ...live a life without too many worries. i just do. sometimes i feel like im not doing enoguh or something but wat is enough? so yeah that is school life.
second rant probably about friends and life in general for me. this week has been stressful for all of my friends. it doesnt matter how or wat they are stressed about. i wish i could help, but yet i cant. i wish i could help them relax but i dont kno how. some times i just feel useless and like there for no reason. i dont really know what to do about the future. im kinda unsure of everything that i do. i just live but some reason i dont feel as if it is enough. i dont kno how to make it "enough" for me. there are just those days where i ask myself why am i here, what am i doing, is this how i really want to live my life, what is stopping me? and then i find that life is kinda boring and lifeless. there isnt anything i really have a passion for that i can do right now. there isnt anything i really want to do right now. i really want to travel but being 16 doesnt help. im planning to take my driving written test but i feel bad cause my mom is so busy which brings me to my third rant.
my mom. yes she is my mother. i dont kno if i love her or not (which is kinda sad once u think about it) since the incident with ms. reynolds, i have thought about wat would happen to me or wat would i do without my mother. and i thought and thought about it and then i found out that my life woud be sort of the same. i dont like my mom relationship with me but i dont to change it cause this is how we lived together for the last 9 years. yes she is my mother and has the right to bark and yell at me all she wants but it gets boring and tiring afterwards and i just dont care. she can complain about watever she wants about me but hey it doesnt help if she hasnt noticed in the last 9 years. so yeah. my mom and i really dont see one another or talk to one another that much. if you dont kno my cousin from vietnam has came to live with me, and even she has a better relationship with my mom and i do. last night my mom said that i am her like...how would u say it...i am first on her list. but i countered that i wasnt, it was her resturant and her business, and her house that came first in her life. i guess i take some of the blame for all of this. i dont talk to her well cause i dont trust her. i kno it is kinda funi and kinda horrible but i dont trust my mom. even if it was a life or death situation i wouldnt trust her. i dont kno if i have a family. my dad has been with his girlfriend for over 9 years, two years longer than when he was married with my mom. my step bro and sister call him dad. it is weird, i hate to admit it in this post which is avaivable for the world to read, but it is weird. i hate the fact that they do it. but gosh i have to live with it. so yeah ranting about my family is going into this rant too. but good news is my cousin. she is awesome and totally just cool. she understands wats going on and it just nice to have her around. we are very alike and do a lot of stuff alike. it just good to have her around. someone to talk to. and she is a dorkable. even though she is 23 years old she acts as if she is 12 and she really smart. it like having an "older" (even though sometimes i wonder) sister around. i never had an older sister before and she never had an younger sister or brother (she has two older ones she doesnt like very much). so that makes life just a lil bit better. hmm i wonder if this is long enough...hmmm well yeah i think it is for the time being oh wait forgot to rant about the house.
house ranting (rant number three or was it four? hm..) okay. yeah i shouldnt be picky cause of where i am living now..but i am anyway. i was able to choose the color of my room (light blue really light) but other than that the house is pretty small inside even though on the outside it seemed really big. i really like the living room it seem very open to me. the doors for the front house is awesome. the rooms arent as big as i hoped they would be but it is alright since it just me and my cousin and mom living there even though i said to my mom it is just us why do we need to many rooms. -_-' so yeah. my mom has just bad color sense. it is like the house is going to be one color. gosh my house is going to be boring. my mom wants us (my cousin and i and her) to move in early but my cousin and i are like there isnt going to be any hot water and we would be in the way of the people working there it would be a bother. and since we have lived in the *bleep* for so long we can stay a lil longer. it wouldnt kill us. so im hoping that we will move in about a month from now like in march or something. so yeah my mom has bought beds and pillows but nuthin else. -_- oh gosh ...okay well i think im done...so well see u around and i hope that i will post soon.
thankz for all those ppl who scan, download, post, upload, update and everything else for me and everyone else. i love my fanfic writers that have updated as soon as u can. much love to u and u rule my world.
well i hope it will be long ><. i kinda feel bad. it is like the only reason i have a live journal is just to download stuff. i dont really have much to post. my life isnt that great or exciting. okay first subject (actually second if you count the sentence and paragraph before) school and finals. well this year i was suprised to find that i dont give a shit about my finals. hahahaha. well not too much. my hardest final truely was my math and rop which i hope i got at least a b or c in butttttt who cares. the others werent so bad. i totally did not care for spanish even though i kinda did study. i think im probably going to get two b's, rop and spanish. im hoping really hard for an -a in math but if i dont get it, i can live with it. science final was a joke and so was the english. if you are in ms. reynolds class and u failed the final, i feel bad for you. i was sort of worry about it but not. my ceramics project is FINALLY done sort of. it really didnt come out like i wanted it to but it is alright. it still has ears even though they arent huge like i wanted them to be. gosh i think that was the one final that made me worri about the most even though it is only art. i love that class it is my fav class this year. it was so scary. every night before i went to bed i would think about how to fix stuff on it and how to add stuff on it. it was horrible. i stayed afterschool on thurs and friday just to finish. and because i had to stay late i had to walk home which wasnt too bad. it is good to go on a walk once in a while but it was kinda lonely wen u go by urself. i had to go by the post office to pick up papers for renewing my ...um..wats it called....*brain fart* my passport there you go. so yeah. the walk was refreshing. on the last day of finals wen i got home i ate and went to bed. gosh that felt good. no homework, no quizes, no test. gosh that was the life. i kinda feel bad for all those juniors that are ripping their heads off with worry about colleges and stuff and grades and classes, while i just ...live a life without too many worries. i just do. sometimes i feel like im not doing enoguh or something but wat is enough? so yeah that is school life.
second rant probably about friends and life in general for me. this week has been stressful for all of my friends. it doesnt matter how or wat they are stressed about. i wish i could help, but yet i cant. i wish i could help them relax but i dont kno how. some times i just feel useless and like there for no reason. i dont really know what to do about the future. im kinda unsure of everything that i do. i just live but some reason i dont feel as if it is enough. i dont kno how to make it "enough" for me. there are just those days where i ask myself why am i here, what am i doing, is this how i really want to live my life, what is stopping me? and then i find that life is kinda boring and lifeless. there isnt anything i really have a passion for that i can do right now. there isnt anything i really want to do right now. i really want to travel but being 16 doesnt help. im planning to take my driving written test but i feel bad cause my mom is so busy which brings me to my third rant.
my mom. yes she is my mother. i dont kno if i love her or not (which is kinda sad once u think about it) since the incident with ms. reynolds, i have thought about wat would happen to me or wat would i do without my mother. and i thought and thought about it and then i found out that my life woud be sort of the same. i dont like my mom relationship with me but i dont to change it cause this is how we lived together for the last 9 years. yes she is my mother and has the right to bark and yell at me all she wants but it gets boring and tiring afterwards and i just dont care. she can complain about watever she wants about me but hey it doesnt help if she hasnt noticed in the last 9 years. so yeah. my mom and i really dont see one another or talk to one another that much. if you dont kno my cousin from vietnam has came to live with me, and even she has a better relationship with my mom and i do. last night my mom said that i am her like...how would u say it...i am first on her list. but i countered that i wasnt, it was her resturant and her business, and her house that came first in her life. i guess i take some of the blame for all of this. i dont talk to her well cause i dont trust her. i kno it is kinda funi and kinda horrible but i dont trust my mom. even if it was a life or death situation i wouldnt trust her. i dont kno if i have a family. my dad has been with his girlfriend for over 9 years, two years longer than when he was married with my mom. my step bro and sister call him dad. it is weird, i hate to admit it in this post which is avaivable for the world to read, but it is weird. i hate the fact that they do it. but gosh i have to live with it. so yeah ranting about my family is going into this rant too. but good news is my cousin. she is awesome and totally just cool. she understands wats going on and it just nice to have her around. we are very alike and do a lot of stuff alike. it just good to have her around. someone to talk to. and she is a dorkable. even though she is 23 years old she acts as if she is 12 and she really smart. it like having an "older" (even though sometimes i wonder) sister around. i never had an older sister before and she never had an younger sister or brother (she has two older ones she doesnt like very much). so that makes life just a lil bit better. hmm i wonder if this is long enough...hmmm well yeah i think it is for the time being oh wait forgot to rant about the house.
house ranting (rant number three or was it four? hm..) okay. yeah i shouldnt be picky cause of where i am living now..but i am anyway. i was able to choose the color of my room (light blue really light) but other than that the house is pretty small inside even though on the outside it seemed really big. i really like the living room it seem very open to me. the doors for the front house is awesome. the rooms arent as big as i hoped they would be but it is alright since it just me and my cousin and mom living there even though i said to my mom it is just us why do we need to many rooms. -_-' so yeah. my mom has just bad color sense. it is like the house is going to be one color. gosh my house is going to be boring. my mom wants us (my cousin and i and her) to move in early but my cousin and i are like there isnt going to be any hot water and we would be in the way of the people working there it would be a bother. and since we have lived in the *bleep* for so long we can stay a lil longer. it wouldnt kill us. so im hoping that we will move in about a month from now like in march or something. so yeah my mom has bought beds and pillows but nuthin else. -_- oh gosh ...okay well i think im done...so well see u around and i hope that i will post soon.
thankz for all those ppl who scan, download, post, upload, update and everything else for me and everyone else. i love my fanfic writers that have updated as soon as u can. much love to u and u rule my world.