Standing in the Light of Your Halo--One Shot
Title: Standing in the Light of Your Halo
Rating: M for some kissing
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Summary: Callie and blondes
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em but I really wish I did.
A/N: Just a little oneshot...hope you enjoy
Callie hated blond, she hated perky. Those were the two things she had lost her husband to, two things she had spent every moment since illogically abhorring. So why was she here, standing outside the hospital doors, staring at a blond, perky woman as she put on her jacket? Why was Callie feeling a pull towards her that she could not explain or deny?
Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice when the doors so quietly slid open and Arizona stepped out into the one a.m. drizzle that was softly hitting the concrete. But Arizona noticed her, standing off by the benches, staring off into space while biting the inside of her lip.
“Callie?” she questioned.
Callie jumped at the sound of the soft, musical voice and whirled until they were facing one another. Suddenly she felt a damning blush creep up her cheeks. What was it about Arizona that did this to her? Perky blonds, she mentally sneered, they're nothing but trouble. Trouble she didn't need.
“What?” Callie snapped back.
“Gosh, that wasn't very polite. I was just checking to make sure you were okay,” Arizona huffed, tucking a hank of wavy gold hair behind her ear.
“Well, you know what? I'm not okay,” Callie said crossing her arms. It was a defensive stance, she knew, but she was sick of getting rejected by people. George, Erika, and even Arizona herself. She hadn't asked Arizona to kiss her. She hadn't even thought of her until that night. It was all her fault. She just lit the fire and ran away.
Arizona shuffled a little closer, as if they were friends, and turned her understanding blue eyes on Callie. Then for a few seconds, or was it minutes, there was a heavy silence that settled between the pair. The soft drizzle continued to fall around them, misting their skin and clothes.
“I heard you lost a patient today,” Arizona said quietly. “It never gets easier, does it?”
“What?” Callie said confused. Then the memories of the surgery came back to her, and she felt ashamed. Ashamed that, to be honest, she didn't even remember. She was more focused on the tiny fingers that had been poking little holes in her heart. Letting her bleed out. “Oh. Yeah. I mean, yeah. It doesn't.”
“But that's not what's bothering you.”
“Thank you, Capitan Obvious,” Callie muttered.
“Wow, that's both snarky and sad,” Arizona told her. “I don't think I've heard anyone use that particular insult since grade school.”
Callie began to feel the anger boil up inside of her. This whole situation was Arizona's fault. Had Callie wanted to be in this spot again, being rejected by someone who had wanted her? Had Callie wanted to be strung along until, for whatever reason, the person decided she just wasn't good enough? No. When Erika had left she was going to let herself heal and then she wasn't going to go back out into the dating game. She was done. She was happy she was done.
Fuck Arizona.
“You're what's bothering me. You and your stupid blond hair, and your stupid perkiness. I hate perky people, you know. I loathe them.”
“My hair is bothering you?” Arizona asked confused.
“Yeah. It's all blond, which you know, is just a fancy word for yellow. You have yellow hair!” Callie shouted, taking a step closer to Arizona. “You're a perky girl with freakin' YELLOW hair. You're like a cartoon character, for god's sake.”
“Excus -” Arizona began offended.
“No, I'm not done! You just come up to me on some whim and kiss me. You kissed me! Remember that? You started this whole god damn thing and I'm just a baby? Just a BABY? Do you have any idea what I've been through in the name of love?” Callie spat out, infusing an impressive amount of disdain into the last word she hissed. “Erika, well you already know about her. But did you know I was married? And that he left me for a perky, YELLOW haired girl? And Erika and her stupid hair! What is wrong with you YELLOW haired women?”
“Callie -” Arizona began again.
“No,” Callie said. “No. I didn't want to want you. I didn't want to feel like this again, like I don't measure up again. I didn't want to feel like I wanted to kiss someone so bad I would die, but know I can't. Do you think it feels good to feel like this? Oh, and it's fine for you. You can just kiss me and decide you don't want me and it's so neat and tidy. Well, you know what, Arizona? I'm not the neat or tidy type.”
With that, Callie stepped forward once more, to bring them so close they were touching. She cupped Arizona's delicate jaw in her hands and looked her in the eyes with purpose. Then Callie leaned down and brushed her lips over hers, and though Arizona was sweet and soft and willing, Callie was not.
She did not kiss her gently, or with love, but with anger and desperation. Without hope. She bit into Arizona's bottom lip making her whimper and grab onto Callie's hips. Callie's tongue then swept in demandingly, not teasing or coyly, but sure and knowing and greedy. She drank Arizona in until she couldn't breathe anymore, and then she backed away suddenly.
Looking at Arizona's blue eyes struggle to clear, she felt a sense of smug satisfaction but a sense of dread that she still wanted to kiss her. And apologize for being too rough. And stroke her stupid, yellow hair. And she wanted Arizona to be perky, and optimistic, and to teach her how to hope again.
“Callie. Wow,” Arizona said with a silly grin. “Just... yeah...”
“Yeah, well, that's just how I feel.”
Arizona quickly closed the distance between them and threw herself into Callie's arms, locking their lips together. This time it was slower and more like honey. An exotic dance of pulsating blood and need and want. And they were both lost and found at the same time. And it was beautiful.
“You know,” Arizona whispered, pressing their foreheads together, “I could dye my hair brown.”
“Don't. It's not yellow. It's gold. It's a freakin' halo.”