Impending Decrepitude
The last of June is the day when inevitably, each year, the great integer counter representing my life's span ticks one numeral further, an occasion that would seem like a strange thing to celebrate, all in all, were cake not inevitably involved, which does admittedly help a lot.
It's weird how that keeps happening (year after year), since I can't really say I feel much older - actually, I'm not sure it's felt like I'd been getting older in a long time, and things like (intermittent) jobs and new apartments and whatnot don't really seem to be making much of a dent in that respect. Of course, 29 isn't really a milestone of any kind, except insofar as it precedes the big 30, so maybe it shouldn't feel like much of anything, but... that's the thing, though. Didn't getting older use to feel like something, in the past?
A remake of Final Fantasy VII was announced at E3, an event that the (not insubstantial) part of me that's in charge of making sober analyses of video games greeted with a shrug and the smug confidence that it's going to be vaguely disappointing at best, because let's face it, they don't make them like they used to. But it roused, just a little bit, another part of me as well - a faint echo of the eleven-year-old me who first played FF7, almost eighteen years ago. Now eleven-year-old me wasn't, all things considered, a sophisticated judge of game quality (and his grasp of English was barely adequate), and he certainly had never had the opportunity to cross-dress in a game before and thought the matter quite hilarious, but he was quite excited about FF7.
But, here's the interesting thing - eleven-year-old me never really thought that FF7 was the greatest game ever made, he thought it was something weird and interesting, but basically amounted to a good start. He certainly thought that something better was going to come along pretty soon and, well, keep coming along. And I think he might be quite puzzled by the notion of meeting 29-year-old me and hearing him say, "well, OK, there was Vagrant Story in 2000, but other than that, FF7 is pretty close to being the best we got, so you better savour it, kid."
Well, drats. But did the world simply fail eleven-year-old me's expectations, or did eleven-year-old me, without noticing it, turn pickier, more cynical and less excitable, until all of a sudden he generally only found himself liking things that were cool eighteen years ago? I think it may be a little bit of both. The point is, either way, back then, it seemed like there was a whole lot more in the way of new, interesting stuff to look into and get to know, and more of that stuff was coming out all the time. Eleven-year-old me was all right, for a kid, but the cool part was that by the time he was, say, twelve, there was a whole lot he'd learned and done and discovered, to the point that he was actually pretty different from the earlier kid, for good or ill. That's not happening so much, anymore! I've been liking FF7 for almost eighteen years, and, I fear, I'll like it 'til I'm old and grey.
Don't get me wrong. I like being 29-year-old me quite a bit. He has a swanky pad, he's a decent cook, he has a fair amount of mad skillz, almost all the stuff he likes is pretty neat, and he has some good friends who have his back; all things considered, I'm almost certain he's generally happier than, say, 18-year-old me. He's also an archaeologist and he's going to excavate in Turkey for a couple of months this summer, so that's pretty cool. But he could use a little bit more shonen passion in his blood. I'm not dead yet, dammit, and more importantly, not even thirty.
It's weird how that keeps happening (year after year), since I can't really say I feel much older - actually, I'm not sure it's felt like I'd been getting older in a long time, and things like (intermittent) jobs and new apartments and whatnot don't really seem to be making much of a dent in that respect. Of course, 29 isn't really a milestone of any kind, except insofar as it precedes the big 30, so maybe it shouldn't feel like much of anything, but... that's the thing, though. Didn't getting older use to feel like something, in the past?
A remake of Final Fantasy VII was announced at E3, an event that the (not insubstantial) part of me that's in charge of making sober analyses of video games greeted with a shrug and the smug confidence that it's going to be vaguely disappointing at best, because let's face it, they don't make them like they used to. But it roused, just a little bit, another part of me as well - a faint echo of the eleven-year-old me who first played FF7, almost eighteen years ago. Now eleven-year-old me wasn't, all things considered, a sophisticated judge of game quality (and his grasp of English was barely adequate), and he certainly had never had the opportunity to cross-dress in a game before and thought the matter quite hilarious, but he was quite excited about FF7.
But, here's the interesting thing - eleven-year-old me never really thought that FF7 was the greatest game ever made, he thought it was something weird and interesting, but basically amounted to a good start. He certainly thought that something better was going to come along pretty soon and, well, keep coming along. And I think he might be quite puzzled by the notion of meeting 29-year-old me and hearing him say, "well, OK, there was Vagrant Story in 2000, but other than that, FF7 is pretty close to being the best we got, so you better savour it, kid."
Well, drats. But did the world simply fail eleven-year-old me's expectations, or did eleven-year-old me, without noticing it, turn pickier, more cynical and less excitable, until all of a sudden he generally only found himself liking things that were cool eighteen years ago? I think it may be a little bit of both. The point is, either way, back then, it seemed like there was a whole lot more in the way of new, interesting stuff to look into and get to know, and more of that stuff was coming out all the time. Eleven-year-old me was all right, for a kid, but the cool part was that by the time he was, say, twelve, there was a whole lot he'd learned and done and discovered, to the point that he was actually pretty different from the earlier kid, for good or ill. That's not happening so much, anymore! I've been liking FF7 for almost eighteen years, and, I fear, I'll like it 'til I'm old and grey.
Don't get me wrong. I like being 29-year-old me quite a bit. He has a swanky pad, he's a decent cook, he has a fair amount of mad skillz, almost all the stuff he likes is pretty neat, and he has some good friends who have his back; all things considered, I'm almost certain he's generally happier than, say, 18-year-old me. He's also an archaeologist and he's going to excavate in Turkey for a couple of months this summer, so that's pretty cool. But he could use a little bit more shonen passion in his blood. I'm not dead yet, dammit, and more importantly, not even thirty.