(no subject)
Bored - reading friends of friends livejournals and I come across one of the most insightful thoughts I've seen in a long time, in the form of a reply to a friend of a friend's journal.
And as if that weren't vaugue enough - I'm not going to bother giving this person credit - but here's what he had to say
It may seem like I’m the totally wrong guy to give advice on romance because after all I’m still single. But I may just be the perfect guy to lend some perspective on the whole game. Read what I have to say and decide for yourself. Throw it out if you don’t like it.
You feel bad because you think you’re second best after all, why else are you being passed over for some other girl right? Well, not necessarily, and in your case certainly not. Love and relationships are not about who’s better and who’s worse. Sure there’s an element of that, but it’s really more about who’s right and who’s wrong for any given person. You’re not second best, you’re just wrong for this particular guy.
You are different from most people. In fact you’re special, but being special doesn’t always make life easy. Being special you are actually better than most of the other girls around, but you are also wrong for most of the guys. You’re just not a match. You need to find a guy that’s also special, and in the right kind of way. This can be difficult because there is a smaller concentration of special people in the human population (unlike cats who are all special :-).
Most people will tell you that one of the most important factors in making a relationship work is patience. I believe that’s true, and it’s also very important before you have a relationship. You can’t just fall in live with any person who looks good, and expect the relationship to work. If that were true than all the guy would be lining up to date you because you look great. But that just isn’t enough. You have to be patient and wait ‘til you find a guy who’s just the right kind of different. Once you do, you’ll be surprised how differently things will work out.
I have quite a few friends who have “problems” similar to the ones you’ve described. The REAL problem they have is quite different if you ask me. In my opinion they long for the relationship so strongly that they feel as if they can’t live without it. Going into a relationship with this mindset is a mistake that will tax even a potentially good relationship. I believe that you have to come to a point of emotional maturity wherein you are content with life as a single person before you can have a shot at being part of a happy couple. If I were you, I’d work on that. The right guy will come along, or he will not. You can’t make it happen, but you can be happy either way.
And as if that weren't vaugue enough - I'm not going to bother giving this person credit - but here's what he had to say
It may seem like I’m the totally wrong guy to give advice on romance because after all I’m still single. But I may just be the perfect guy to lend some perspective on the whole game. Read what I have to say and decide for yourself. Throw it out if you don’t like it.
You feel bad because you think you’re second best after all, why else are you being passed over for some other girl right? Well, not necessarily, and in your case certainly not. Love and relationships are not about who’s better and who’s worse. Sure there’s an element of that, but it’s really more about who’s right and who’s wrong for any given person. You’re not second best, you’re just wrong for this particular guy.
You are different from most people. In fact you’re special, but being special doesn’t always make life easy. Being special you are actually better than most of the other girls around, but you are also wrong for most of the guys. You’re just not a match. You need to find a guy that’s also special, and in the right kind of way. This can be difficult because there is a smaller concentration of special people in the human population (unlike cats who are all special :-).
Most people will tell you that one of the most important factors in making a relationship work is patience. I believe that’s true, and it’s also very important before you have a relationship. You can’t just fall in live with any person who looks good, and expect the relationship to work. If that were true than all the guy would be lining up to date you because you look great. But that just isn’t enough. You have to be patient and wait ‘til you find a guy who’s just the right kind of different. Once you do, you’ll be surprised how differently things will work out.
I have quite a few friends who have “problems” similar to the ones you’ve described. The REAL problem they have is quite different if you ask me. In my opinion they long for the relationship so strongly that they feel as if they can’t live without it. Going into a relationship with this mindset is a mistake that will tax even a potentially good relationship. I believe that you have to come to a point of emotional maturity wherein you are content with life as a single person before you can have a shot at being part of a happy couple. If I were you, I’d work on that. The right guy will come along, or he will not. You can’t make it happen, but you can be happy either way.