bang
shoot me.
I am not doing anything right lately. Well, I suppose that's not true. Lets try talking about good things first. I don't know what it's like to have a day off any more. I work nonstop at Sheetz, and I'm getting money, finally, even though it's at the expense of my sanity. I'm so miserable with my life right now though. Everything that I kind of had with Jill is slipping through the cracks, and it's horible. I did the stupidest thing I could do and called her on her birthday and made her feel bad. As anyone who reads her journal probably figured out, yeah, that was me, captian amazing. So I feel like she's ignoring me or doing her best to avoid me and I already miss her. I miss her calling me, and I have to try 10 times before she will answer when I call. I miss her visiting me at work, I miss her inviting me over, I miss her smiling at me, I miss her leaving me cute text messages, an happy messages on aim to wake up to. I miss her calling me to tell me to visit her at work or she'll get upset, I miss her piece of shit car, I miss kissing her, I miss making love to her, I miss holding her, I miss smelling her, I miss "where'd you go?", I miss playing Magic, I really really miss falling asleep beside her, I miss how cute she gets around animals, I miss taking her on motorcycle rides, and taking my hands off the handlebars just to have her hold me tighter, I miss her cooking for me, I miss her holding my hand, I miss making her laugh because I'm stupid, I miss Wal-Mart, I miss just being with her, I miss feeling special because I have her, I even miss the things that I didn't even know I liked, like her tattos, or her belly button piercing, or her bunny. I even miss DDR.
and the worst part of it is... it's not even been a week. I feel like she's gone, and I'm just now realizing exactly how much stuff she does that makes me happy that I take for granted, and how much I need it to function normally. I realize a big chunk of what I'm doing wrong in the relationship, and want to fix it so badly, but at the same time, I feel so desperate, like the end is already here and we are just noticing now. This can't be how it's going to be. She means a lot to me, even if I don't really show it in front of anybody...
I promise theres more to me than anal sex...
Did I mention that I miss kissing her?
I am not doing anything right lately. Well, I suppose that's not true. Lets try talking about good things first. I don't know what it's like to have a day off any more. I work nonstop at Sheetz, and I'm getting money, finally, even though it's at the expense of my sanity. I'm so miserable with my life right now though. Everything that I kind of had with Jill is slipping through the cracks, and it's horible. I did the stupidest thing I could do and called her on her birthday and made her feel bad. As anyone who reads her journal probably figured out, yeah, that was me, captian amazing. So I feel like she's ignoring me or doing her best to avoid me and I already miss her. I miss her calling me, and I have to try 10 times before she will answer when I call. I miss her visiting me at work, I miss her inviting me over, I miss her smiling at me, I miss her leaving me cute text messages, an happy messages on aim to wake up to. I miss her calling me to tell me to visit her at work or she'll get upset, I miss her piece of shit car, I miss kissing her, I miss making love to her, I miss holding her, I miss smelling her, I miss "where'd you go?", I miss playing Magic, I really really miss falling asleep beside her, I miss how cute she gets around animals, I miss taking her on motorcycle rides, and taking my hands off the handlebars just to have her hold me tighter, I miss her cooking for me, I miss her holding my hand, I miss making her laugh because I'm stupid, I miss Wal-Mart, I miss just being with her, I miss feeling special because I have her, I even miss the things that I didn't even know I liked, like her tattos, or her belly button piercing, or her bunny. I even miss DDR.
and the worst part of it is... it's not even been a week. I feel like she's gone, and I'm just now realizing exactly how much stuff she does that makes me happy that I take for granted, and how much I need it to function normally. I realize a big chunk of what I'm doing wrong in the relationship, and want to fix it so badly, but at the same time, I feel so desperate, like the end is already here and we are just noticing now. This can't be how it's going to be. She means a lot to me, even if I don't really show it in front of anybody...
I promise theres more to me than anal sex...
Did I mention that I miss kissing her?