Emo-Megan
Okay first the background story. Bradley and I have been "dating" but not "serious" since about March. Given that he lives so far away our dates have been rather few and far between but we still communicate pretty well. Anyway he had (before he even met me) planned to come down here for the summer.
Sunday night despite having to work the next day I stayed up extremely late to talk to him and help him as he agonized over departure times. He was supposed to leave very very late/early morning and drive most of Monday.
Monday night I received no phone call... but perhaps he was just tired.
Tuesday all day I received no phone call... perhaps he's catching up on his sleep or maybe he's just setting up his computer. Perhaps he doesn't have access to a phone or computer.
Wednesday night... I finally cannot take it. I lost sleep Tuesday night worrying that maybe something horrible happened to him and so I called his father. He'd called home earlier that day while I was at work--okay perhaps he thought he'd rather talk to me than leave an obvious message so perhaps he'd call later in the evening.
Well it's 9pm and I haven't heard from him and I find myself emotionally distraught. At the very least I know he's okay and for that I'm thankful but then it lead to other things.
I understand calling your father first, he's family... however did he perhaps think I wouldn't worry too? A five minute I made it but can't talk would of been FINE... just something. I told myself before it was just to prove he's okay but now I realize I wanted more than that. I wanted some brief glimmer of acknowledgement that I meant at least a tiny speck of thought to him.
Then I thought maybe he's ashamed of me. Perhaps his friend's were picking on him as I've noticed he rebels against thim childishly kinda like me with my parents. My folks would go "ooo you have a boyfriend" and I'll be like "... stfu go away, none of your business".
So... in an emo state of mind I'm angry that he hasn't cauld and sad at the same time. I know that I have no right to be angry with him nor expect him to call at a drop of the hat when we aren't even technically "boyfriend/girlfriend" but another voice says it would of at least been courteous.
What it all boils down to is I need to know why he hasn't called. His answer will determine my final emotional reaction as I try to cling to the idea there is a very logical explination to why he has not let me know he's alive.
Sunday night despite having to work the next day I stayed up extremely late to talk to him and help him as he agonized over departure times. He was supposed to leave very very late/early morning and drive most of Monday.
Monday night I received no phone call... but perhaps he was just tired.
Tuesday all day I received no phone call... perhaps he's catching up on his sleep or maybe he's just setting up his computer. Perhaps he doesn't have access to a phone or computer.
Wednesday night... I finally cannot take it. I lost sleep Tuesday night worrying that maybe something horrible happened to him and so I called his father. He'd called home earlier that day while I was at work--okay perhaps he thought he'd rather talk to me than leave an obvious message so perhaps he'd call later in the evening.
Well it's 9pm and I haven't heard from him and I find myself emotionally distraught. At the very least I know he's okay and for that I'm thankful but then it lead to other things.
I understand calling your father first, he's family... however did he perhaps think I wouldn't worry too? A five minute I made it but can't talk would of been FINE... just something. I told myself before it was just to prove he's okay but now I realize I wanted more than that. I wanted some brief glimmer of acknowledgement that I meant at least a tiny speck of thought to him.
Then I thought maybe he's ashamed of me. Perhaps his friend's were picking on him as I've noticed he rebels against thim childishly kinda like me with my parents. My folks would go "ooo you have a boyfriend" and I'll be like "... stfu go away, none of your business".
So... in an emo state of mind I'm angry that he hasn't cauld and sad at the same time. I know that I have no right to be angry with him nor expect him to call at a drop of the hat when we aren't even technically "boyfriend/girlfriend" but another voice says it would of at least been courteous.
What it all boils down to is I need to know why he hasn't called. His answer will determine my final emotional reaction as I try to cling to the idea there is a very logical explination to why he has not let me know he's alive.