My Patience Only Lasts For So Long
I'm not all that happy when it comes to the fact that I still don't have my grade posted for my English 300w class. This is to the point of completely pathetic, especially because its been about a week since my portfolio was taken to my professor. I could understand the fact that my portfolio wasn't graded with the rest because of the move out of the classroom building because of renovations, but I can't ignore this. My portfolio was brought to my professor almost a week ago now, and I haven't heard anything back when it comes to the several emails that I've sent her. What the hell happened to actually checking your email? I'm giving her until 23:00 tomorrow to even email me back with some sort of news or get my grade up before I start to email people again. Whatever patience that I had is worn down to the quick, and that small amount that is still there is about to be extinguished.
The start of the week has been a bad one in my opinion. Screw ups at my dad's work have us strapped for cash until they fix whatever the hell that they fucked up in the first place, which makes my mom a bit of a nervous wreck. She worried about everything, and I'm not kidding when I say everything. I can tell her not to worry about something, and its useless. She lets everything and anything to get to her, and sometimes I can't even fathom why she does this. She's a hell of a lot more sensitive about things like this, and I know for a fact that she's a hell of a lot more nicer than I could ever be. I'd go and rant for a while just to make myself feel better, but she does something that's basically the opposite of me. She'll sit and cry for a while, which makes me feel really uncomfortable. I'm not one to cry, but when I do I just feel awful while I'm doing it and after I'm finished. I don't like being emotional to begin with, and it makes things worse when my mom of all people breaks down and cries. I just don't know what to do when she does that. It probably seems like I don't care, but I can't help the fact that I freeze up. I don't know how to deal with things like that, I normally turn my emotions to anger and frustration when I even think I'm going to cry, and I've done that since I was little. Something absolutely horrid has to happen for me to cry openly, and even then I'd cry when no one else knew.
That reminds me, why the fuck do I have to deal with the pain in my neck and my back? For almost the past week I've had to take codeine off and on because of how bad the pain has been. Seriously, I've been curled up for several hours in one comfortable spot because it simply hurt to move. For me to actually get up and do something, I had to wait for the codeine to kick in, and even then things were and still are rather slow to get going. I forgot what could happen when I mixed codeine and caffeine, and for the past two days I've been pretty hyper when I do have something caffeinated. Its funny because I usually pick on my sister because its amusing. That and her reactions to what I do are rather funny.
Oh hell, I'm glad that the fuckers that divvy out the commission checks finally went and fixed things for my dad's paycheck. At least we have money now for this week, because it was going to be one really tense and worrisome week if we didn't. At least he'll get the full commission check next week with no problems (I hope so at least,) and that will be one less thing that we'll have to worry about. Now that we actually do have enough money this week, its possible that I'll actually be able to go to the chiropractor's this week...or this weekend. It just depends on if they're here or not. If not, I'll have to wait one more week to get in. All I know is that when I do get in and I'm adjusted, I'll sleep like a baby that night.
Why the hell does it always come down to me ranting about something when I'm not in a good mood? Its one of the easiest ways for me to get my feelings out in the open, and its better than trying to rant to someone that will either think you're a crass bitch that lets everything get to you or just plain pathetic for letting something happen because when it comes to the internet, it doesn't talk back. Yeah, you get comments from other people once in a while, but you don't have the chance of being punched in the face for something that you've said at the time. There's always the chance later, but that gives you time to prepare for something like that. When I'm on campus I tend to split up my anger between ranting on my livejournal and to one of my friends with swimming or working out. Doing things that way just doesn't make me feel better, I usually am pretty relaxed by the time I'm finished. Its my pseudo cup of chamomile tea without having to drink it.
At least I feel a bit better than I did when I first started this entry. so much has happened within the span of an hour, and I'm glad that some of these things have happened. Because they have, some of the facets of my life have become grounded again. Now that this has happened, at least I can worry about being irritated with my professor instead of having to worry about what the hell is going to happen tomorrow. I'm alright with pressure, but when it comes to worrying about how someone else functions under it, that's a different story. Che, with the mood I'm in, I could get through several things and make them damn well interesting while I do so. But first, unfortunately I have to take something for my back and neck because they're starting to bother me terribly.
I have no idea when I'm going to get the current chapter of AQH that I'm working on, but I do know that it'll be longer than my normal chapters. It will be out when it can be, and no sooner. Giving a timetable for when It'll be out is something that just won't work with me because of all of the fucked up things that decide to happen all at once.
-Corrupted Innocence
The start of the week has been a bad one in my opinion. Screw ups at my dad's work have us strapped for cash until they fix whatever the hell that they fucked up in the first place, which makes my mom a bit of a nervous wreck. She worried about everything, and I'm not kidding when I say everything. I can tell her not to worry about something, and its useless. She lets everything and anything to get to her, and sometimes I can't even fathom why she does this. She's a hell of a lot more sensitive about things like this, and I know for a fact that she's a hell of a lot more nicer than I could ever be. I'd go and rant for a while just to make myself feel better, but she does something that's basically the opposite of me. She'll sit and cry for a while, which makes me feel really uncomfortable. I'm not one to cry, but when I do I just feel awful while I'm doing it and after I'm finished. I don't like being emotional to begin with, and it makes things worse when my mom of all people breaks down and cries. I just don't know what to do when she does that. It probably seems like I don't care, but I can't help the fact that I freeze up. I don't know how to deal with things like that, I normally turn my emotions to anger and frustration when I even think I'm going to cry, and I've done that since I was little. Something absolutely horrid has to happen for me to cry openly, and even then I'd cry when no one else knew.
That reminds me, why the fuck do I have to deal with the pain in my neck and my back? For almost the past week I've had to take codeine off and on because of how bad the pain has been. Seriously, I've been curled up for several hours in one comfortable spot because it simply hurt to move. For me to actually get up and do something, I had to wait for the codeine to kick in, and even then things were and still are rather slow to get going. I forgot what could happen when I mixed codeine and caffeine, and for the past two days I've been pretty hyper when I do have something caffeinated. Its funny because I usually pick on my sister because its amusing. That and her reactions to what I do are rather funny.
Oh hell, I'm glad that the fuckers that divvy out the commission checks finally went and fixed things for my dad's paycheck. At least we have money now for this week, because it was going to be one really tense and worrisome week if we didn't. At least he'll get the full commission check next week with no problems (I hope so at least,) and that will be one less thing that we'll have to worry about. Now that we actually do have enough money this week, its possible that I'll actually be able to go to the chiropractor's this week...or this weekend. It just depends on if they're here or not. If not, I'll have to wait one more week to get in. All I know is that when I do get in and I'm adjusted, I'll sleep like a baby that night.
Why the hell does it always come down to me ranting about something when I'm not in a good mood? Its one of the easiest ways for me to get my feelings out in the open, and its better than trying to rant to someone that will either think you're a crass bitch that lets everything get to you or just plain pathetic for letting something happen because when it comes to the internet, it doesn't talk back. Yeah, you get comments from other people once in a while, but you don't have the chance of being punched in the face for something that you've said at the time. There's always the chance later, but that gives you time to prepare for something like that. When I'm on campus I tend to split up my anger between ranting on my livejournal and to one of my friends with swimming or working out. Doing things that way just doesn't make me feel better, I usually am pretty relaxed by the time I'm finished. Its my pseudo cup of chamomile tea without having to drink it.
At least I feel a bit better than I did when I first started this entry. so much has happened within the span of an hour, and I'm glad that some of these things have happened. Because they have, some of the facets of my life have become grounded again. Now that this has happened, at least I can worry about being irritated with my professor instead of having to worry about what the hell is going to happen tomorrow. I'm alright with pressure, but when it comes to worrying about how someone else functions under it, that's a different story. Che, with the mood I'm in, I could get through several things and make them damn well interesting while I do so. But first, unfortunately I have to take something for my back and neck because they're starting to bother me terribly.
I have no idea when I'm going to get the current chapter of AQH that I'm working on, but I do know that it'll be longer than my normal chapters. It will be out when it can be, and no sooner. Giving a timetable for when It'll be out is something that just won't work with me because of all of the fucked up things that decide to happen all at once.
-Corrupted Innocence