Sick ramblings, ideas, and thoughts
Pathetic, simply pathetic. It fucking figures that I go and get sick during a great day, it really does. Its bright, sunny and somewhat warm outside, yet I'm inside and completely miserable because of a cold that I have. It hurts to talk, it hurts when I cough, my ears and throat hurt, and I'm more tired than usual. In short, I feel like shit. I just hope that this will go away soon, just because I hate being sick. I love the days off I can get when I'm sick because I use them to sleep in; but the actual time that I'm sick is something I don't like dealing with. There's only one good thing I can think of about me being sick. I have a lot of herbal teas to help with my sore throat. I'll probably make my first cup in a little bit. I need to take some cold medicine too.
I feel like I could sleep a few more hours, but with how awake I am at the moment, that wouldn't be possible for me. Really, I should try and drink something caffeinated to wake me up more, I just don't know how much it would help me. At first, I just thought that I was heading to bed early because I was so tired, but when I woke up yesterday morning, I finally figured out why I was going to bed so early. It figures that I've caught something too, just because I haven't actually been sick since November. The vitamins that I take daily actually do help, and yet it was just a matter of time before I finally got sick again.
This is just fucking funny. Apparently, the reason that I don't have my grade yet for my English 300W class is because I decided to turn in my portfolio early. What in the hell kind of logic is that? I went and turned in my portfolio a day early because I had so many things to do the day before the day that the final was supposed to be on, so I went and turned it in by sliding it under her office's door. It fucking figures that the only portfolios that were turned into the professor were ones that were given to the department head in the first place, and no one apparently decided to look under her door like they should've.
Well, at least I'll have the grades that I'm looking for now. It'll take a bit for my professor to get the grade posted, and I'll probably be extremely pleased when she does. I know for a fact that I have at least a B+ in the damn class, and I hope that I'll at least get an A in it. It doesn't matter to me much if I go and get a B+ because I still have a great GPA for the semester and I'll have the 2.5 GPA that it will take for me to be able to transfer to Oakland. I guess that this day is getting a bit better, even if I'm sick. At least I don't have to worry about that anymore.
Change is something that can be attributed with mixed emotions. That's just a fact of life. So why am I actually looking forward for things to change when the past couple of years have been nothing more than one long, tiring, emotional roller coaster? I want to be able to actually forget about some of the shit that has warped my moods and just look forward. Trying to glance back at what I've been through already will do nothing more than dredge up the past, which is something I want to forget. I know that I've had a horrid two years in college, and now that I'm actually feeling better health wise, I'm going to go for what I wanted to do in the first place.
Why is it that when you realize how much of an idiot you were in the past that you want to go back and change things? Sometimes, I realize that If I could change things even five years ago, I would be in a better position now than I am currently. in fact, if I could have gone back and found the reason why I had migraines for over five fucking years and solved the problem right then and there, it would be a hell of a lot easier. Fuck, I would have done that if I could. That way I would have been able to concentrate on my school work and classes instead of having to deal with the doctors visits, the hospital visits, the doctor's visits that seemed to turn into shrink visits and the several different medications I was on. Oh god, when it comes to those I'd rather make it to where I didn't even have to take them.
Damn misinformed pricks. Sure, it was all in my head right? Fuck that. You go and give me antidepressants saying that they'll help with my migraines. Che, yeah right. They made me feel like I was fucking nuts, and I knew that I wasn't. I was incredibly overjoyed when I was weaned off of the damn things, but then I was put on another medication. Not my version of actually solving the problem. If the supposed "cure" for migraines is to be put on one medication after another, then would that be considered a cure? Its just adding on the possibility that several side effects from the drugs would pile on top of each other, making the life of the one taking them pure hell.
Hm, I guess I changed a bit now that I look through some of my earlier entries. Even when I'm sick, I still can manage to integrate something that would be considered constructive criticism towards the medical field, but still sound irritated at it all. Hah, I guess that part of me just got better at doing what I do best. Now that I think about it, all of those years during high school that I was like this didn't help me much. Oh well, I just get to share my cynicism with whomever decides to read this.
Oh yeah, I'm working on A Quincy's Heart, and with the ideas that have been popping up at odd times for me, there are going to be several surprises and even more broken hearts. Surprises abound mostly in the next few chapters, so if it seems like a lot is happening all at once, that's because it is. This is the only real clue I'll give for what might happen during chapter six, other than the fact that I'm going to make it longer than my usual chapters. How long? I don't know yet. It'll give me something to do while I'm sick though.
-Corrupted Innocence
I feel like I could sleep a few more hours, but with how awake I am at the moment, that wouldn't be possible for me. Really, I should try and drink something caffeinated to wake me up more, I just don't know how much it would help me. At first, I just thought that I was heading to bed early because I was so tired, but when I woke up yesterday morning, I finally figured out why I was going to bed so early. It figures that I've caught something too, just because I haven't actually been sick since November. The vitamins that I take daily actually do help, and yet it was just a matter of time before I finally got sick again.
This is just fucking funny. Apparently, the reason that I don't have my grade yet for my English 300W class is because I decided to turn in my portfolio early. What in the hell kind of logic is that? I went and turned in my portfolio a day early because I had so many things to do the day before the day that the final was supposed to be on, so I went and turned it in by sliding it under her office's door. It fucking figures that the only portfolios that were turned into the professor were ones that were given to the department head in the first place, and no one apparently decided to look under her door like they should've.
Well, at least I'll have the grades that I'm looking for now. It'll take a bit for my professor to get the grade posted, and I'll probably be extremely pleased when she does. I know for a fact that I have at least a B+ in the damn class, and I hope that I'll at least get an A in it. It doesn't matter to me much if I go and get a B+ because I still have a great GPA for the semester and I'll have the 2.5 GPA that it will take for me to be able to transfer to Oakland. I guess that this day is getting a bit better, even if I'm sick. At least I don't have to worry about that anymore.
Change is something that can be attributed with mixed emotions. That's just a fact of life. So why am I actually looking forward for things to change when the past couple of years have been nothing more than one long, tiring, emotional roller coaster? I want to be able to actually forget about some of the shit that has warped my moods and just look forward. Trying to glance back at what I've been through already will do nothing more than dredge up the past, which is something I want to forget. I know that I've had a horrid two years in college, and now that I'm actually feeling better health wise, I'm going to go for what I wanted to do in the first place.
Why is it that when you realize how much of an idiot you were in the past that you want to go back and change things? Sometimes, I realize that If I could change things even five years ago, I would be in a better position now than I am currently. in fact, if I could have gone back and found the reason why I had migraines for over five fucking years and solved the problem right then and there, it would be a hell of a lot easier. Fuck, I would have done that if I could. That way I would have been able to concentrate on my school work and classes instead of having to deal with the doctors visits, the hospital visits, the doctor's visits that seemed to turn into shrink visits and the several different medications I was on. Oh god, when it comes to those I'd rather make it to where I didn't even have to take them.
Damn misinformed pricks. Sure, it was all in my head right? Fuck that. You go and give me antidepressants saying that they'll help with my migraines. Che, yeah right. They made me feel like I was fucking nuts, and I knew that I wasn't. I was incredibly overjoyed when I was weaned off of the damn things, but then I was put on another medication. Not my version of actually solving the problem. If the supposed "cure" for migraines is to be put on one medication after another, then would that be considered a cure? Its just adding on the possibility that several side effects from the drugs would pile on top of each other, making the life of the one taking them pure hell.
Hm, I guess I changed a bit now that I look through some of my earlier entries. Even when I'm sick, I still can manage to integrate something that would be considered constructive criticism towards the medical field, but still sound irritated at it all. Hah, I guess that part of me just got better at doing what I do best. Now that I think about it, all of those years during high school that I was like this didn't help me much. Oh well, I just get to share my cynicism with whomever decides to read this.
Oh yeah, I'm working on A Quincy's Heart, and with the ideas that have been popping up at odd times for me, there are going to be several surprises and even more broken hearts. Surprises abound mostly in the next few chapters, so if it seems like a lot is happening all at once, that's because it is. This is the only real clue I'll give for what might happen during chapter six, other than the fact that I'm going to make it longer than my usual chapters. How long? I don't know yet. It'll give me something to do while I'm sick though.
-Corrupted Innocence