Writing scams and Craigslist go together like ice cream and PMS
I wrote this blog post for my legit blog and then decided that it was a little too troll-y and not really something that *actually* needed to be said on aforementioned legit blog. I don't know why I call it that. It's not like this is my illegitimate blog, with a funny shaped nose and hair color that has never before appeared in my family BUT WE LOVE HER ANYWAY SHUT UP.
I wasn't planning on writing a blog post like this, but it was too good to pass up. This morning I was merrily cruising Craigslist seeking writing jobs and any other interesting type of paid employment. Farrier business has been a little thin on the ground lately and Christmas is in December this year, damn it. I only have three more months, so I took myself to everybody's favorite I-hope-this-isn't-stolen-goods website.
If you don't know, Craigslist is the internet equivalent of that skeezy pawn shop in the bad part of town where you don't go after dark because you might get shanked. Yeah, it's probably on the up and up, but there is that shady guy in the background selling used DVDs for half their value outta the trunk of his car...
I haven't been on there in awhile, but this is where my friend found us the job as day labor for the circus. You may remember that from my tweets published last month titled, 'My adventure taming lions', and the bonus adult novel-tweet 'When the clown car's a rockin', don't come a knockin'.
Actually I made all that up. I'm not that flexible, obviously. Cleaning up after elephants wasn't glamorous, but it had to be done... actually we didn't do that either. I CAN'T HELP IT I'M A WRITER I MUST MAKE THE STORY INTERESTING AND SHOUTY.
The truth isn't interesting at all, but we got paid, that's all that really matters here. We didn't get within a hundred miles of the elephants, we just hung up posters telling people that the elephants were coming, Paul Revere style. The elephants are coming, the elephants are coming, hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, the elephants are coming!
Then I find this ad. I was going down the list clicking on all of them because I didn't want to miss a paying gem just because the title sucked-- Note to self: Punch up horror title 'cause it sucks-- and this happened. Read that.
'hi my name is XXXX and i am looking for someone to come and help me write out a grant proposal and a business plan. this will be a non profit and it would only be for a week but i need some one with at least 10 years experinces in writing out plans that can be turn into something real as to say this is my first time opening a resaurant. if you have time on your hands your own car and not worried about money please call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX and i can go over in more detail what i need out of my business plan and grant proposal'
This person needs to have a nice long think about what they just said. You're not going to pay me, but you do want me to have ten years experience- excuse me, experinces, in writing how you're going to run your business? Protip sweetie, it's not a non-profit and the category of business you can't even spell? Doesn't the little red squiggly line under the words bother you? I know it drives me bugnut bonkers.
Wait wait, it gets better. 'My own car' implies that I'll be using my own gas to accomplish this, purely out of the goodness of my heart. You think I have goodness in my heart? Bless. My little shriveled up heart doesn't even beat faster at the sight of kittens wearing tutus and tap dancing with puppies wearing tuxedos? Nay, not even then.
'Not worried about money'... I promise you that if I was not worried about money, there would be a lot more beach in my life and a lot less surfing for work on craigslist. I'm not opposed to working for free for a worthy cause, or for food, or for neat swag, or for a chance to fangirl over someone, or even if a friend invokes my condition*, but for some reason I just don't have a good feeling about this. Pass.
Moving on... the very next ad was a single sentence requesting writers to do restaurant reviews and they actually spelled everything right so I applied... only to be sent a link to scam website that advertised how marvelous they are using the internet version of a wacky inflatable arm flailing tube man. They only wanted $70.00 to teach me how to blog! I could make thousands in my first weeks of wordsmithing! How could I pass this MAGNIFICENT OPPORTUNITY UP? OH LOOK THERE'S A COUPON FOR HALF OFF MY FIRST WEEK! I CAN CANCEL AT ANYTIME--
I don't think they understand how a job works. ~le sigh~
OH WAIT OH WAIT, I was about to post this and I got another response to another ad I answered about copywriting. Read and discuss.
'My Name,
Thank you for requesting more information about our open positions. My name is XXXX and I'm your sponsor, and I'm here to help you get started.
This is a legitimate work from home position that pays you daily and costs under $25 to start.
I will walk you through the entire process from sign up to training to helping you earn your
payments & make back that $25 back! ... '
There was a lot more but I deleted it. I hereby take back every smartass, superior thought I've ever had about anyone that falls for this type of thing. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE and if you don't know, if you're just dipping your toe in the water of getting paid to write, whatever surrounds you seems to be normal. I've failed to sell Mary Kay and I learned my lesson. If I've got to put money up front then... logically... I'M NOT THE ONE MAKING MONEY HERE.
On that note I'm adding a useful link to save the noobs. SAVE THE NOOBS, PEOPLE, SAVE THE NOOBS.
Writer Beware: A list of scams, scam agents, and scam publishers.
*I tragically suffer from agreeing to do absolutely anything as long as it's more than two weeks away. It's a terrible condition and I'm seeking help, but the ability to say 'no' eludes me because anything can happen in two weeks. The world might end. Then I wouldn't have to do it. My ability to procrastinate is a whole 'nother blog post.
I wasn't planning on writing a blog post like this, but it was too good to pass up. This morning I was merrily cruising Craigslist seeking writing jobs and any other interesting type of paid employment. Farrier business has been a little thin on the ground lately and Christmas is in December this year, damn it. I only have three more months, so I took myself to everybody's favorite I-hope-this-isn't-stolen-goods website.
If you don't know, Craigslist is the internet equivalent of that skeezy pawn shop in the bad part of town where you don't go after dark because you might get shanked. Yeah, it's probably on the up and up, but there is that shady guy in the background selling used DVDs for half their value outta the trunk of his car...
I haven't been on there in awhile, but this is where my friend found us the job as day labor for the circus. You may remember that from my tweets published last month titled, 'My adventure taming lions', and the bonus adult novel-tweet 'When the clown car's a rockin', don't come a knockin'.
Actually I made all that up. I'm not that flexible, obviously. Cleaning up after elephants wasn't glamorous, but it had to be done... actually we didn't do that either. I CAN'T HELP IT I'M A WRITER I MUST MAKE THE STORY INTERESTING AND SHOUTY.
The truth isn't interesting at all, but we got paid, that's all that really matters here. We didn't get within a hundred miles of the elephants, we just hung up posters telling people that the elephants were coming, Paul Revere style. The elephants are coming, the elephants are coming, hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, the elephants are coming!
Then I find this ad. I was going down the list clicking on all of them because I didn't want to miss a paying gem just because the title sucked-- Note to self: Punch up horror title 'cause it sucks-- and this happened. Read that.
'hi my name is XXXX and i am looking for someone to come and help me write out a grant proposal and a business plan. this will be a non profit and it would only be for a week but i need some one with at least 10 years experinces in writing out plans that can be turn into something real as to say this is my first time opening a resaurant. if you have time on your hands your own car and not worried about money please call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX and i can go over in more detail what i need out of my business plan and grant proposal'
This person needs to have a nice long think about what they just said. You're not going to pay me, but you do want me to have ten years experience- excuse me, experinces, in writing how you're going to run your business? Protip sweetie, it's not a non-profit and the category of business you can't even spell? Doesn't the little red squiggly line under the words bother you? I know it drives me bugnut bonkers.
Wait wait, it gets better. 'My own car' implies that I'll be using my own gas to accomplish this, purely out of the goodness of my heart. You think I have goodness in my heart? Bless. My little shriveled up heart doesn't even beat faster at the sight of kittens wearing tutus and tap dancing with puppies wearing tuxedos? Nay, not even then.
'Not worried about money'... I promise you that if I was not worried about money, there would be a lot more beach in my life and a lot less surfing for work on craigslist. I'm not opposed to working for free for a worthy cause, or for food, or for neat swag, or for a chance to fangirl over someone, or even if a friend invokes my condition*, but for some reason I just don't have a good feeling about this. Pass.
Moving on... the very next ad was a single sentence requesting writers to do restaurant reviews and they actually spelled everything right so I applied... only to be sent a link to scam website that advertised how marvelous they are using the internet version of a wacky inflatable arm flailing tube man. They only wanted $70.00 to teach me how to blog! I could make thousands in my first weeks of wordsmithing! How could I pass this MAGNIFICENT OPPORTUNITY UP? OH LOOK THERE'S A COUPON FOR HALF OFF MY FIRST WEEK! I CAN CANCEL AT ANYTIME--
I don't think they understand how a job works. ~le sigh~
OH WAIT OH WAIT, I was about to post this and I got another response to another ad I answered about copywriting. Read and discuss.
'My Name,
Thank you for requesting more information about our open positions. My name is XXXX and I'm your sponsor, and I'm here to help you get started.
This is a legitimate work from home position that pays you daily and costs under $25 to start.
I will walk you through the entire process from sign up to training to helping you earn your
payments & make back that $25 back! ... '
There was a lot more but I deleted it. I hereby take back every smartass, superior thought I've ever had about anyone that falls for this type of thing. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE and if you don't know, if you're just dipping your toe in the water of getting paid to write, whatever surrounds you seems to be normal. I've failed to sell Mary Kay and I learned my lesson. If I've got to put money up front then... logically... I'M NOT THE ONE MAKING MONEY HERE.
On that note I'm adding a useful link to save the noobs. SAVE THE NOOBS, PEOPLE, SAVE THE NOOBS.
Writer Beware: A list of scams, scam agents, and scam publishers.
*I tragically suffer from agreeing to do absolutely anything as long as it's more than two weeks away. It's a terrible condition and I'm seeking help, but the ability to say 'no' eludes me because anything can happen in two weeks. The world might end. Then I wouldn't have to do it. My ability to procrastinate is a whole 'nother blog post.