The bastards are following me.
The god damn Gnomes of Zurich seem to be in league with the Illuminati again. They jump out of dark corners of the night and scream "fliegende kinderscheisse" before burrowing back down into the earth.
I asked my Zen master for advice but he just hit me with a stick. Swine. All channels to Eris appear to be routing through to a squid in a clown costume. Things don't look too good. I think this is serious. Time to call in the Legion of Dynamic Discord. FNORD. Updates to follow. Hail Eris!