Writing, writing, and some Bleach
Ah, the pleasures of free time. Like I promised, I did some writing today. Irksome Nature has moved to 4,388 words; I have started Chapter 5 of Web of Fate; and I started a new ficlet. Uh, the new ficlet was unplanned though, and I was totally godsmacked when I started writing a companion pice to Heaven's Tears. Not only have I stalled on Naruto, but I haven't caught up either, which, I guess is sad. Unfortunately, I'm knee-deep in Bleach, which I happen to think is better. *cough* I just haven't been happy with recent Naruto events that I've heard about from Iv.
IN's not flowing as fast as I'd hoped, so I guess even if I don't manage to update IN, I'd have gotten some WoF done. Some writing done is better than none, right?
Disclaimer: I don't own.
Happiness didn't last.
You learned this very early in your life, when happiness didn't come often, if at all, and left just as quickly without a moment's notice. Without a moment's thought. You always wondered about that -- wondered about what-ifs and what-should-have-happens, and it always ended with images of him standing in front of you, smirking shakily because he never smiled at all since forever, which was about the amount of time you knew him, and he'd always been too arrogant to let you bask in your victory anyway -- but wondering wasn't the same as reality, and Iruka-sensei had been telling you to live in the Real World since Sasuke had left and you had woken up in the hospital, bandages curling around painfully sensitive skin and a forehead protector clutched in your hand. Though, in truth, that was probably the third thing Iruka-sensei had said when you first opened your eyes. The first had been a relieved smile and various syllables that you just assumed were meant to be happiness at your consciousness. You should have felt the warmth of his words then, but you had just felt cold. The second had been that sometimes, people changed and not always for the better. Iruka-sensei had always been proud of Sasuke, you knew, but he had always put the village first too; this time was no different from the many times before, though you understood Iruka-sensei had had his regrets.
You understood, but you hadn't agreed, so you'd remained silent even as your hand had tightened on the forehead protector. Sasuke had left it behind. You hadn't wanted to lose it.
Sasuke was here. He wasn't that far away now, and you'd been tracking him for years -- long enough to understand that he wasn't going any further for now, for this moment, and maybe forever. He was waiting for you, just like he used back when you were clumsy enough to trip over everything and he'd just stand there, arms crossed and with the most annoyed glare on his face, but still -- he'd waited, and that counted for something. That counted for a lot.
You sort of understood it had probably counted for everything you'd done until now. Until this moment.
Before then, before happiness had deserted you and you were cold even in the hot, sweltering summers, you'd know two true things. The first one had been ramen. The second had been Sasuke. It didn't matter if you'd wanted his attention then, or if that need turned to hatred when he wouldn't see you. Sasuke had been the best student. Sasuke had been the best at everything, and somehow, you'd gotten the idea that if he saw something good in you then maybe the village would too, because, after all, Sasuke had been the best. The best, but also lonely. You'd seen that later, when your plan hadn't quite worked out the way you'd wanted it too, and you'd just wanted him to like you so much that it quickly turned to hate. He hadn't wanted to like you, and you'd been so angry that you'd decided that you didn't like him too.
You both didn't like each other for years until it became your world.
You were slowing down. You shouldn’t be slowing done. You had your orders and you had your mission, and this was Sasuke. You couldn’t allow your emotions to interfere with your work -- you couldn’t allow yourself to be swayed by old memories and old emotions. You couldn't allow the face of a sad-eyed, lonely boy to replace the blood-drenched one in front of you.
IN's not flowing as fast as I'd hoped, so I guess even if I don't manage to update IN, I'd have gotten some WoF done. Some writing done is better than none, right?
Disclaimer: I don't own.
Happiness didn't last.
You learned this very early in your life, when happiness didn't come often, if at all, and left just as quickly without a moment's notice. Without a moment's thought. You always wondered about that -- wondered about what-ifs and what-should-have-happens, and it always ended with images of him standing in front of you, smirking shakily because he never smiled at all since forever, which was about the amount of time you knew him, and he'd always been too arrogant to let you bask in your victory anyway -- but wondering wasn't the same as reality, and Iruka-sensei had been telling you to live in the Real World since Sasuke had left and you had woken up in the hospital, bandages curling around painfully sensitive skin and a forehead protector clutched in your hand. Though, in truth, that was probably the third thing Iruka-sensei had said when you first opened your eyes. The first had been a relieved smile and various syllables that you just assumed were meant to be happiness at your consciousness. You should have felt the warmth of his words then, but you had just felt cold. The second had been that sometimes, people changed and not always for the better. Iruka-sensei had always been proud of Sasuke, you knew, but he had always put the village first too; this time was no different from the many times before, though you understood Iruka-sensei had had his regrets.
You understood, but you hadn't agreed, so you'd remained silent even as your hand had tightened on the forehead protector. Sasuke had left it behind. You hadn't wanted to lose it.
Sasuke was here. He wasn't that far away now, and you'd been tracking him for years -- long enough to understand that he wasn't going any further for now, for this moment, and maybe forever. He was waiting for you, just like he used back when you were clumsy enough to trip over everything and he'd just stand there, arms crossed and with the most annoyed glare on his face, but still -- he'd waited, and that counted for something. That counted for a lot.
You sort of understood it had probably counted for everything you'd done until now. Until this moment.
Before then, before happiness had deserted you and you were cold even in the hot, sweltering summers, you'd know two true things. The first one had been ramen. The second had been Sasuke. It didn't matter if you'd wanted his attention then, or if that need turned to hatred when he wouldn't see you. Sasuke had been the best student. Sasuke had been the best at everything, and somehow, you'd gotten the idea that if he saw something good in you then maybe the village would too, because, after all, Sasuke had been the best. The best, but also lonely. You'd seen that later, when your plan hadn't quite worked out the way you'd wanted it too, and you'd just wanted him to like you so much that it quickly turned to hate. He hadn't wanted to like you, and you'd been so angry that you'd decided that you didn't like him too.
You both didn't like each other for years until it became your world.
You were slowing down. You shouldn’t be slowing done. You had your orders and you had your mission, and this was Sasuke. You couldn’t allow your emotions to interfere with your work -- you couldn’t allow yourself to be swayed by old memories and old emotions. You couldn't allow the face of a sad-eyed, lonely boy to replace the blood-drenched one in front of you.