Stress
Different people handle stress different ways. Here's what I have observed over the past couple of weeks.
Grace gets bitchier.
Emma gets scary.
Cat procrastinates a bit by talking to us then returns to her work.
Sarah.... well, I don't honestly know about that one, I rarely see her doing homework.
Chalkey disappears and buries himself further in his work.
Me? I shut down. Completely. I have a five page paper due at 1:00 pm in 11 hours basically. Have I started it? No. Why? Because I don't know what to write about. I've talked with Matt, I've talked with his room mate, I've talked with Whitney and even with Chalkey a bit. In class discussion didn't help me one bit. I don't know what to do or how to do it therefore I've completely shut down.
No wonder I haven't been sleeping well lately. Cause this fucking sucks and I can't deal with this anymore. I can't focus on anything. I don't have any motivation or drive to do anything, And I have nowhere to escape. My room is far from being comforting what with Graces shit all over the place, including my bed. I just want to go home, I can't do this anymore. Honestly at this rate, I can't see me making it through the rest of the semester without being put on academic probation. All because I hate my living arrangements and can't comprehend deconstructionalism.
School was never my thing in High School, why did I think it would be different in college? Why did I think I could change? And of course ever since my personal dam cracked I can't stop the thoughts about leaving. I can't stop the feeling of disappointment I know my parents feel because I feel it too.. I can't stop crying when I start thinking about everyone I'm letting down in the process. If I had a car I'd be halfway home by now.
I don't know if I can't stop shaking right now because I can barely breath or because I'm cold. Is this what it feels like to have a panic attack?
I'm probably only going to go to my pipe lesson and pipe band tomorrow and just skip my two classes. I know that's not going to solve anything, but I really feel as if there's nothing else I can do at this point.
Mom can I come home tomorrow? My 8 am got canceled for Wednesday and I need to get away.
It frustrates me to no end that this place that used to make me so happy is making me feel like this. I feel like the only thing that's keeping me here is the only reason I came to Wooster in the first place... the pipe band.
~DarkForest214
Grace gets bitchier.
Emma gets scary.
Cat procrastinates a bit by talking to us then returns to her work.
Sarah.... well, I don't honestly know about that one, I rarely see her doing homework.
Chalkey disappears and buries himself further in his work.
Me? I shut down. Completely. I have a five page paper due at 1:00 pm in 11 hours basically. Have I started it? No. Why? Because I don't know what to write about. I've talked with Matt, I've talked with his room mate, I've talked with Whitney and even with Chalkey a bit. In class discussion didn't help me one bit. I don't know what to do or how to do it therefore I've completely shut down.
No wonder I haven't been sleeping well lately. Cause this fucking sucks and I can't deal with this anymore. I can't focus on anything. I don't have any motivation or drive to do anything, And I have nowhere to escape. My room is far from being comforting what with Graces shit all over the place, including my bed. I just want to go home, I can't do this anymore. Honestly at this rate, I can't see me making it through the rest of the semester without being put on academic probation. All because I hate my living arrangements and can't comprehend deconstructionalism.
School was never my thing in High School, why did I think it would be different in college? Why did I think I could change? And of course ever since my personal dam cracked I can't stop the thoughts about leaving. I can't stop the feeling of disappointment I know my parents feel because I feel it too.. I can't stop crying when I start thinking about everyone I'm letting down in the process. If I had a car I'd be halfway home by now.
I don't know if I can't stop shaking right now because I can barely breath or because I'm cold. Is this what it feels like to have a panic attack?
I'm probably only going to go to my pipe lesson and pipe band tomorrow and just skip my two classes. I know that's not going to solve anything, but I really feel as if there's nothing else I can do at this point.
Mom can I come home tomorrow? My 8 am got canceled for Wednesday and I need to get away.
It frustrates me to no end that this place that used to make me so happy is making me feel like this. I feel like the only thing that's keeping me here is the only reason I came to Wooster in the first place... the pipe band.
~DarkForest214