(no subject)
My life is always changing. It's picking up speed, it's slowing down, it's lost and found all in one big clusterfuck. I've been well for over a year now and it feels phenomenal, yet I'm not where I'd imagined I'd be. I have to figure out where I want to be.
I look at what's happened and sometimes I feel sad. I was on track at 17 to knock out college with two fists and my danny heart. Two years later I got better for the first time and I turned shit around right quick, back to where I used to be. After last time, I sort of idled. I went back to school and that's cool but it's not enough.
I think the ender was the worst. Truly thinking I was going to die and all and totally giving up like that. It took a part of me I know it. It's hard to not let something like that impact you. I'm past it but I've gotta get that drive back. That good old fashioned danny flair. The care-free lifestyle and independence that I so desperately need is not happening. Maybe it takes more time and more heart.
I've got at least two more semesters here if I want to stick to being joe college. In the Fall I can apply to any four year I want to again. Maybe I'll get out of here too, like everyone else. I just hope I can do something and get that wild drive back. I'm getting too fucking old.
I look at what's happened and sometimes I feel sad. I was on track at 17 to knock out college with two fists and my danny heart. Two years later I got better for the first time and I turned shit around right quick, back to where I used to be. After last time, I sort of idled. I went back to school and that's cool but it's not enough.
I think the ender was the worst. Truly thinking I was going to die and all and totally giving up like that. It took a part of me I know it. It's hard to not let something like that impact you. I'm past it but I've gotta get that drive back. That good old fashioned danny flair. The care-free lifestyle and independence that I so desperately need is not happening. Maybe it takes more time and more heart.
I've got at least two more semesters here if I want to stick to being joe college. In the Fall I can apply to any four year I want to again. Maybe I'll get out of here too, like everyone else. I just hope I can do something and get that wild drive back. I'm getting too fucking old.