Leave it to me to live out a lie
The other day I shamelessly overdosed on OTC drugs that don't help me at all. When I finally got home and stumbled into my room, I could feel my heart beat at what felt like 4 times it's normal rate. As I lay there on my bed I wondered if that was finally it, if I would die after I fell asleep. I remember thinking the only reason I didn't want to die was because I was hanging half off of the bed with my shoes still on. I thought how pathetic it would be to die in your bed with your shoes still on. That was it, that was my great epiphany and it was the saddest thing of it all. I realized that it was so obvious that I don't want to live anymore that I can't even lie to myself.