People aren't always who they seem to be.
Its funny how sometimes people you think are friends suddenly are not for unexplained reasons. People who you think you're on good terms with suddenly turning their back on you and not even giving an explanation or even confronting you. Just goes to show that they likely never cared to begin with. That their own concern is with themselves. Even if you've tried your best to get along with them, they just can't look past your faults and when the time is convenient, drop you like an old sock. It makes you wonder what on earth you ever did to them to deserve that, or if you even did anything at all. But you'll never know cause they won't even talk to you. Its a rather frustrating situation for someone who genuinely wants to try and patch things up.
Some friendships are great and last a long time, sometimes even forever. While others are petty and are fun for awhile until one side just decides to give up on it. I never claimed to be perfect, nor will I deny that I haven't been one to dump friends. Most of the time unintentionally, or due to some unrepairable damage. I at least try to talk to people though, and it saddens and frustrates me when people feel like they can't talk to me and feel that tossing everything aside and leaving destruction in their wake is the better option.
My thought has usually been that friends come and go, and inevitably you just can't trust most people. Because everyone is selfish in some form or another, as am I. I've been hurt by many people, and I'm certain I've hurt others too. It happens, its life, and I regret a lot of the things I say or do. I look back and shake my head, wondering why I even did that. Then I reflect and think... could I have done something better? Could I have tried harder to be their friend? Am I the one at fault here? Maybe I should not have nagged so much despite my enthusiasm.
One weakness I have, one really bad habit... is that I tend to open my mouth and say things I really shouldn't. I do so before I really think about it. Especially when it comes to talk about people behind their backs. I'm horrible about it, and I really need to stop. That's something I should focus on. Cause I know I don't like when people talk about me, yet I go and do it too. It gets me into trouble every now and then because someone I trusted will likely end up snitching and then that person will be angry, even though I never meant for it to be personal and I really do like the person I might have been griping about on the spur of the moment. Nonetheless, I need to try harder to improve myself. Even if things are not my fault, I still need to try harder. I hate losing friends. Even if I say I don't care... I really do. I'm way too self conscious, and I always want to make things right. Even if the other person doesn't.
Feh. I'm so pathetic.
Some friendships are great and last a long time, sometimes even forever. While others are petty and are fun for awhile until one side just decides to give up on it. I never claimed to be perfect, nor will I deny that I haven't been one to dump friends. Most of the time unintentionally, or due to some unrepairable damage. I at least try to talk to people though, and it saddens and frustrates me when people feel like they can't talk to me and feel that tossing everything aside and leaving destruction in their wake is the better option.
My thought has usually been that friends come and go, and inevitably you just can't trust most people. Because everyone is selfish in some form or another, as am I. I've been hurt by many people, and I'm certain I've hurt others too. It happens, its life, and I regret a lot of the things I say or do. I look back and shake my head, wondering why I even did that. Then I reflect and think... could I have done something better? Could I have tried harder to be their friend? Am I the one at fault here? Maybe I should not have nagged so much despite my enthusiasm.
One weakness I have, one really bad habit... is that I tend to open my mouth and say things I really shouldn't. I do so before I really think about it. Especially when it comes to talk about people behind their backs. I'm horrible about it, and I really need to stop. That's something I should focus on. Cause I know I don't like when people talk about me, yet I go and do it too. It gets me into trouble every now and then because someone I trusted will likely end up snitching and then that person will be angry, even though I never meant for it to be personal and I really do like the person I might have been griping about on the spur of the moment. Nonetheless, I need to try harder to improve myself. Even if things are not my fault, I still need to try harder. I hate losing friends. Even if I say I don't care... I really do. I'm way too self conscious, and I always want to make things right. Even if the other person doesn't.
Feh. I'm so pathetic.