Public entry for once
So I totally scoffed this off of MSN's daily article thingy. They must be running out of real reporters and having to rely on these "astro coaches" now. It is pathetic.
Check it out.
Level One: A Practical Love Plan
This is the easy approach for literally minded types; it’ll help you tap your resources for love and put yourself out there so love can flow your way.
Help, help!! I'm trapped by burning hot love! HELP!
1. Identify 12 friends or family members you can assign to each month in the year ahead. Ask your dear, supportive loved ones to come up with one potential match - just an introduction - for you in that month. You can stack the deck by putting those more likely to come through (your best friend, your sister) in the early months of the year so that you may never have to rely on Aunt Doris in November (you’ll be in love by then)!
Jesus Christ. Are you for real? What if twelve friends do this? Then I am tapped every month of the year. I don't even HAVE that many guy friends. And how desperate and tacky is it to tell people, "Ok, so in October, I want you to introduce me to a guy. Doesn't matter who it is. If it's got a penis and a pulse, I'm ok with that." Because we all know the best way to encourage your coworkers and friends and family to introduce you to their friends is by screaming, "I'm lonely and desperate...come and get it!"
2. Give yourself first-of-the-month reminders to canvas your closest coworkers for love referrals. You won’t be a pest if you ask quietly, carefully, and infrequently if they know anyone who is up for dating. Chances are, their circles and yours don’t overlap much, so they can introduce you to new prospects. Maybe they are members of a co-ed book group you could drop in on, or perhaps they have a sibling who recently got divorced and is looking to date again.
Right. I'll get right on that. I'm sure it won't cloud a coworker relationship if you have a horrible date with their best friend, or break their brother's heart. And I'm not even going to TOUCH the dating their recently divorced sibling. "Hello, my name is Rebound."
3. Give yourself three-month profile refreshers to keep you alive and well online. You’ll feel differently every season. Let that show in your profile, your photo, even your responses. Shift your personal message with the seasons. In winter, perhaps you’ll be looking for a fellow movie buff to hunker down with, bucket of popcorn in hand. Maybe spring is your time to invite prospects to plant window boxes with you. Let your passions come through by updating your headline, photo and the main text of your profile.
Basically, change yourself to suit other people as you see fit. Do not stay the same, instead change it up so that if someone clicks on your profile who didn't match you last month, they might feel they match you now because you like gardening (hopefully you remembered to take out, "enjoys kicking kittens out of tall buildings").
Level Two: The “As If” Method
How many times have you found yourself rushing from the beginning of the week to the end and not having a moment to yourself? How often do you shove stuff under your bed, in a closet or into a drawer when you can’t find the right place to put it? How many storage containers have you bought lately? What’s in your fridge? When was the last time you had a weekend away, tried a new brunch spot, or heard some live music?
This is called, "having a life." Perhaps to better find a date, we should all try this.
These are some important questions to answer if you want to invite love into your life. Love may very well be waiting patiently for an opportunity to find you but there’s no room at the moment. If you find that you’re over-scheduled, squirreling away stuff you don’t need or use, and living on frozen food and popcorn, you’re not exactly rolling out the red carpet for romance.
Excuse me, is Tianna there? This is love calling. Oh, oh really? Busy? Ok, I'll catch you later. *sigh*
Make 2006 your year for love by living as if you’re already in a relationship. No, you don’t have to book a romantic table for two and go with a blow-up doll, but you need to consider what having someone in your life implies. Living as if you have someone in your life makes it much easier for love to find you.
I thought we were supposed to make time for dates and beg coworkers and relatives to scrape up some dates. Now we're dating ourselves? No wonder I don't have time for anything.
1. Loosen up that schedule. If you have sports night on Monday, poker on Tuesday, tennis on Wednesday, the gym on Thursday and yoga class on Friday, exactly when would you be available for a date? Make room now. Being free one night a week isn’t going to kill you.
"Oh, no, I can't make it to the theater after all on Wednesday....yeah, I might potentially have a date. Maybe. I'm keeping it open just in case Aunt Bev calls and sets me up."
2. If you can’t find an inch of closet space for your own things, where are you going to put the inevitable stuff that comes with any big love? Coats, skis, sweaters, sweats-you need room to accommodate someone else. Look into paring down stuff you don’t need. Give your old clothes to the Salvation Army, and let those empty hangers in your closet welcome someone else’s shirts.
Accommodate someone else's shit?? Are you fucking off your rocker? I go out with a guy once and suddenly I'm Public Storage Plus? Good thing I have one night a week off to organize shit.
3. Stop living like you’re in a hotel. There is nothing enticing about a fridge that looks like a mini-bar or is filled with half-eaten take-out food. Learn to cook or at least boil pasta. Part of love is nurturing, and if you can’t nurture yourself, you’re not ready for love.
I LIKE half eaten take out food. It makes a statement. A statement that says, "I may have your shit in my closet, but damnit I am not fucking making dinner for your ass." Because, let's face it, it's not going to happen in MY house any time soon.
4. Build those skills and interests-attend a weekend seminar at a nearby museum; tour a historic home; sign up for that lecture by a noted author. You’ll become a more interested and interesting person... and who knows whom you might meet!
I don't have TIME for that! Are you crazy?? I have to have at least one night a week off, remember? Not to mention I've got some guy's crap in the closet and a bunch of burnt food in the trash that needs to be taken out.
Living as if you are happily in a relationship puts you in the groove of love. It won’t be long before someone sees an opening in your cozy, welcoming life and applies to be your next great relationship.
Mister Smith, your turn to interview now. Did you fill out the paperwork? Ok, bedroom three, on the right.
Level Three: A Magical Blueprint for Romance
Oh, god.
If you’re game for a big and powerful love connection, don’t be shy. Follow these directions for a love ritual, and you will certainly see romance in the coming year. Believe in it-thousands of single people who’ve read my books and attended my seminars have found success with it!
This process must be done after sunset and is best done between December 20 and January 13th.
1. Light a candle and sit comfortably in candlelight.
Tell yourself, "No, really, I don't feel stupid."
2. Make of list of the qualities in a relationship you desire. Here’s an example, but use your own words. Use the present tense. Claim your power to create this love in your life.
I create love in 2006 with someone who is screamingly funny, tender, caring, honest and compassionate. I create love with someone who loves animals, appreciates and respects my vegetarian diet. I create love with someone who complements my personality and who lovingly challenges me to be a better person. I create love with someone who loves music, adventure and joins me in volunteer work.
I have the power to create love with the perfect person for me.
Try really hard not to laugh. Really, really hard.
3. Read your list out loud. And no, it will not work if you just read it silently. The power of your word is a strong force and this will help pull your wishes into reality.
Why stop there? Hell, post it on the roof. You never know when love will ooze from above. Since you've given up all your weekend plans anyway, you'll be home when love tries to get ahold of you again.
4. When you’re done reading your lists, release this to the universe by saying, “So Be It and So It Is.”
5. Blow your candle out.
Quickly, before the neighbors see it and wonder wtf you're doing.
Hang onto your list. In the next twelve months, you’ll be able to see how your wishes were granted.
Also, people in your life will be annoyed by your constant attempts to filch a date off their friends and family, your friends will think you're blowing them off to sit around at home and do nothing, you'll have gained 25lbs from trying to cook at home, failing miserably and ordering out anyway and love will be all "no she didn't" and stop sliming around the bathroom.
Astro-coach Barrie Dolnick helps people find love and happiness by understanding their stars and their karmic energy. She is the author of twelve books, including Enlighten Up! and KarmaBabe. Her website is www.barriedolnick.com.
Check it out.
Level One: A Practical Love Plan
This is the easy approach for literally minded types; it’ll help you tap your resources for love and put yourself out there so love can flow your way.
Help, help!! I'm trapped by burning hot love! HELP!
1. Identify 12 friends or family members you can assign to each month in the year ahead. Ask your dear, supportive loved ones to come up with one potential match - just an introduction - for you in that month. You can stack the deck by putting those more likely to come through (your best friend, your sister) in the early months of the year so that you may never have to rely on Aunt Doris in November (you’ll be in love by then)!
Jesus Christ. Are you for real? What if twelve friends do this? Then I am tapped every month of the year. I don't even HAVE that many guy friends. And how desperate and tacky is it to tell people, "Ok, so in October, I want you to introduce me to a guy. Doesn't matter who it is. If it's got a penis and a pulse, I'm ok with that." Because we all know the best way to encourage your coworkers and friends and family to introduce you to their friends is by screaming, "I'm lonely and desperate...come and get it!"
2. Give yourself first-of-the-month reminders to canvas your closest coworkers for love referrals. You won’t be a pest if you ask quietly, carefully, and infrequently if they know anyone who is up for dating. Chances are, their circles and yours don’t overlap much, so they can introduce you to new prospects. Maybe they are members of a co-ed book group you could drop in on, or perhaps they have a sibling who recently got divorced and is looking to date again.
Right. I'll get right on that. I'm sure it won't cloud a coworker relationship if you have a horrible date with their best friend, or break their brother's heart. And I'm not even going to TOUCH the dating their recently divorced sibling. "Hello, my name is Rebound."
3. Give yourself three-month profile refreshers to keep you alive and well online. You’ll feel differently every season. Let that show in your profile, your photo, even your responses. Shift your personal message with the seasons. In winter, perhaps you’ll be looking for a fellow movie buff to hunker down with, bucket of popcorn in hand. Maybe spring is your time to invite prospects to plant window boxes with you. Let your passions come through by updating your headline, photo and the main text of your profile.
Basically, change yourself to suit other people as you see fit. Do not stay the same, instead change it up so that if someone clicks on your profile who didn't match you last month, they might feel they match you now because you like gardening (hopefully you remembered to take out, "enjoys kicking kittens out of tall buildings").
Level Two: The “As If” Method
How many times have you found yourself rushing from the beginning of the week to the end and not having a moment to yourself? How often do you shove stuff under your bed, in a closet or into a drawer when you can’t find the right place to put it? How many storage containers have you bought lately? What’s in your fridge? When was the last time you had a weekend away, tried a new brunch spot, or heard some live music?
This is called, "having a life." Perhaps to better find a date, we should all try this.
These are some important questions to answer if you want to invite love into your life. Love may very well be waiting patiently for an opportunity to find you but there’s no room at the moment. If you find that you’re over-scheduled, squirreling away stuff you don’t need or use, and living on frozen food and popcorn, you’re not exactly rolling out the red carpet for romance.
Excuse me, is Tianna there? This is love calling. Oh, oh really? Busy? Ok, I'll catch you later. *sigh*
Make 2006 your year for love by living as if you’re already in a relationship. No, you don’t have to book a romantic table for two and go with a blow-up doll, but you need to consider what having someone in your life implies. Living as if you have someone in your life makes it much easier for love to find you.
I thought we were supposed to make time for dates and beg coworkers and relatives to scrape up some dates. Now we're dating ourselves? No wonder I don't have time for anything.
1. Loosen up that schedule. If you have sports night on Monday, poker on Tuesday, tennis on Wednesday, the gym on Thursday and yoga class on Friday, exactly when would you be available for a date? Make room now. Being free one night a week isn’t going to kill you.
"Oh, no, I can't make it to the theater after all on Wednesday....yeah, I might potentially have a date. Maybe. I'm keeping it open just in case Aunt Bev calls and sets me up."
2. If you can’t find an inch of closet space for your own things, where are you going to put the inevitable stuff that comes with any big love? Coats, skis, sweaters, sweats-you need room to accommodate someone else. Look into paring down stuff you don’t need. Give your old clothes to the Salvation Army, and let those empty hangers in your closet welcome someone else’s shirts.
Accommodate someone else's shit?? Are you fucking off your rocker? I go out with a guy once and suddenly I'm Public Storage Plus? Good thing I have one night a week off to organize shit.
3. Stop living like you’re in a hotel. There is nothing enticing about a fridge that looks like a mini-bar or is filled with half-eaten take-out food. Learn to cook or at least boil pasta. Part of love is nurturing, and if you can’t nurture yourself, you’re not ready for love.
I LIKE half eaten take out food. It makes a statement. A statement that says, "I may have your shit in my closet, but damnit I am not fucking making dinner for your ass." Because, let's face it, it's not going to happen in MY house any time soon.
4. Build those skills and interests-attend a weekend seminar at a nearby museum; tour a historic home; sign up for that lecture by a noted author. You’ll become a more interested and interesting person... and who knows whom you might meet!
I don't have TIME for that! Are you crazy?? I have to have at least one night a week off, remember? Not to mention I've got some guy's crap in the closet and a bunch of burnt food in the trash that needs to be taken out.
Living as if you are happily in a relationship puts you in the groove of love. It won’t be long before someone sees an opening in your cozy, welcoming life and applies to be your next great relationship.
Mister Smith, your turn to interview now. Did you fill out the paperwork? Ok, bedroom three, on the right.
Level Three: A Magical Blueprint for Romance
Oh, god.
If you’re game for a big and powerful love connection, don’t be shy. Follow these directions for a love ritual, and you will certainly see romance in the coming year. Believe in it-thousands of single people who’ve read my books and attended my seminars have found success with it!
This process must be done after sunset and is best done between December 20 and January 13th.
1. Light a candle and sit comfortably in candlelight.
Tell yourself, "No, really, I don't feel stupid."
2. Make of list of the qualities in a relationship you desire. Here’s an example, but use your own words. Use the present tense. Claim your power to create this love in your life.
I create love in 2006 with someone who is screamingly funny, tender, caring, honest and compassionate. I create love with someone who loves animals, appreciates and respects my vegetarian diet. I create love with someone who complements my personality and who lovingly challenges me to be a better person. I create love with someone who loves music, adventure and joins me in volunteer work.
I have the power to create love with the perfect person for me.
Try really hard not to laugh. Really, really hard.
3. Read your list out loud. And no, it will not work if you just read it silently. The power of your word is a strong force and this will help pull your wishes into reality.
Why stop there? Hell, post it on the roof. You never know when love will ooze from above. Since you've given up all your weekend plans anyway, you'll be home when love tries to get ahold of you again.
4. When you’re done reading your lists, release this to the universe by saying, “So Be It and So It Is.”
5. Blow your candle out.
Quickly, before the neighbors see it and wonder wtf you're doing.
Hang onto your list. In the next twelve months, you’ll be able to see how your wishes were granted.
Also, people in your life will be annoyed by your constant attempts to filch a date off their friends and family, your friends will think you're blowing them off to sit around at home and do nothing, you'll have gained 25lbs from trying to cook at home, failing miserably and ordering out anyway and love will be all "no she didn't" and stop sliming around the bathroom.
Astro-coach Barrie Dolnick helps people find love and happiness by understanding their stars and their karmic energy. She is the author of twelve books, including Enlighten Up! and KarmaBabe. Her website is www.barriedolnick.com.