i know i know
i know i told myself that i wouldnt keep everything bottled up this year...well i have. ugh...im just afraid of hurting someone so i end up keeping things inside and hurting myself. i just dont want to end up where i was a while ago doing something so stupid to myself. i already stopped and it was hard but now i am afraid im just gonna do it again. i promised myself that and i have kept that promise. but now i just need to keep this other promise and not keep everything bottled up. i really do need to get these feelings out of me and not bottled up but its hard. i just dont know how to tell people what im really feeling and not just lie about it. argh...i really do hate this. my best friend kiah can tell by just looking at me that im bottling stuff up. there isnt really that many people i can talk to at school anymore. i only have 1 class with shaarayah. i have 4 classes with kiah but we can hardly talk. oh well...i guess im just gonna have to learn how to speak my mind. well i better jet. my dad is gonna come down here and start yelling at me. oh well. byes.