[Public] Life so far...
This is going to be laden with typos. I'm apologizing in advance because I'm typing from about 5 feet away on my couch... *takes deep breath*
Ok, Here I go.
First off, let me explain why this entry is public. I feel that for once everyone should be able to find out what's going on in my life. So therefore anyone that cares to stumble across my pitiful juornal can see my recent events. Simple as that.
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~*~Life A:: Work~*~
___________________
Work has been going good. I get along with my co-workers really well and I enjoy working there. For those of you who don't know, I work at Subway. I get free food, and it really is an awesome job, despite the slowness it entails sometimes. I'm due for a raise in a few weeks and my hours just went up. I'm working between 36 and 40 hours a week there. Mucho Money. There's just one catch about this job, though.
I have to put up a front. I currently have to LIE about my relationship with Matt(Ark). My Boss and all of my coworkers except one think that we're engages still. See, the thing is... I can only keep my job as long as I'm stable. I was engaged to him when I started the job, I havn't told them anything different since. There's a reason, though. I'm afraid I'll lose my job if I tell them that things aren't that well, or that we aren;t together anymore. This is the same job at subway that I had before. . .I left because Matt kicked me out, and becuase we had broken up. My Boss, knows that. . . and he's afraid that it might happen again.
However, I am planing on telling him once I move out. I'll just simply tell him that we decided not to be together anymore. Matt knows how things are there, and he's good about it. It seems it's one of those rare occasions that he's actually nice to me. Moving on.
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~*~Life B::Home~*~
___________________
I've been living with Matt for about 3 1/2 months now. It goes well most of the time, but he's taken to purposly pissing me off, and occasionally thretening me. Wanna know why I moved here? I'll tell you. Back in June, I was prepared to leave him and be with someone else. A very nice guy named justin. The day that I IM'd Matt and told him he could come and get his things from me, he asked me to marry him. I stupidly said yes, becuase he had pulled me back. He asked me to move in and take care of hs cats for him while he was away in NY for a month. Things were ok for a while in NY, and then they got bad. He pretty much told me he would rather be with someone else and that he couldn't stand the thought of being with me. He never got together with that person, adn knowing him... he never will. He has no intention of it. I decided I was going to stay put and keep my job. We broke up before he came back from NY. He's told me he loved me countless times before then... as of now, he hasn't said it in about a month. I believe he doesn't love anyone but himself...
I've been here since. I normally don't ahve a problem being here, because I work all the time and I sometimes get to see my friends. All of my friends closeby live in Columbus, GO FIGURE. Lately, I can't take living here. Matt purposly does things to piss me off and I'm at my wits end. He also doesn't want me here, and that bothers me too. I'm getting a lace on my own and moving out as soon as I have the money to. It' wont be for another two months, though. So I'll probably still be here on Hallowwena dn part of Nov. This isn't the real reason why I want to move out though... I mean it is, but it isn't. His parent's are on the lease. Matt was going to have me as an official roomate. His aprents said "No, we don't want her here under any circumstances." Since Matt only decided to tell them recently, I have to find somewhere else to go now. His parent's despise me. Fortunatly, I have as much timee as I need to get the money. However, Matt doesn't want me here adn can't stand to be around me for long perods of time, so he keeps thretening me. He could have me removed tommorrow if he wanted, and there would be nothing I could do about it.This is why it's hard, he pisses me off on purpose, and Iwhen I react, he threatens. When I don't react at all, he still threatens me. I don't know what to do anymore. I told my Boss about his parents and he's going to help me get on my feet. Matt said he's help me too, acting like he cares, but I know he;s probably just bullsitting me again. I want his help, but I don't know if I can believe him.
"Things will get better between us once you move out."
I don't know. I have this strange feeling he's going to get close to me again after I move out, and I will not tolorate another heartbreak.Especially from the likes of him. I'll cross that brige when I get to it, though. I'm prepared for waht's going to hapen, becuase it happens every time.
To answer a question people absentmindedly think about when it comes to us... Yes, we've been sleeping together. No, it hasn't been in the last week. He's kissed me though. Not in public, but he's done it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't reall know what to say. anymore. I'm very tired so that may have something to do with it. I think I'll end this here nad just go ahead and sleep. I hope he reads this, and finds out how I really feel. I don't know if I love him truly anymore. I feel for him, but I don't know exactly anymore.
Part of me still wants him to be mine, the other wants him to just fuck off. I'm torn.
I'm going t bed now. Goodnight!
~~Asuka~~ <3
Ok, Here I go.
First off, let me explain why this entry is public. I feel that for once everyone should be able to find out what's going on in my life. So therefore anyone that cares to stumble across my pitiful juornal can see my recent events. Simple as that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~*~Life A:: Work~*~
___________________
Work has been going good. I get along with my co-workers really well and I enjoy working there. For those of you who don't know, I work at Subway. I get free food, and it really is an awesome job, despite the slowness it entails sometimes. I'm due for a raise in a few weeks and my hours just went up. I'm working between 36 and 40 hours a week there. Mucho Money. There's just one catch about this job, though.
I have to put up a front. I currently have to LIE about my relationship with Matt(Ark). My Boss and all of my coworkers except one think that we're engages still. See, the thing is... I can only keep my job as long as I'm stable. I was engaged to him when I started the job, I havn't told them anything different since. There's a reason, though. I'm afraid I'll lose my job if I tell them that things aren't that well, or that we aren;t together anymore. This is the same job at subway that I had before. . .I left because Matt kicked me out, and becuase we had broken up. My Boss, knows that. . . and he's afraid that it might happen again.
However, I am planing on telling him once I move out. I'll just simply tell him that we decided not to be together anymore. Matt knows how things are there, and he's good about it. It seems it's one of those rare occasions that he's actually nice to me. Moving on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~*~Life B::Home~*~
___________________
I've been living with Matt for about 3 1/2 months now. It goes well most of the time, but he's taken to purposly pissing me off, and occasionally thretening me. Wanna know why I moved here? I'll tell you. Back in June, I was prepared to leave him and be with someone else. A very nice guy named justin. The day that I IM'd Matt and told him he could come and get his things from me, he asked me to marry him. I stupidly said yes, becuase he had pulled me back. He asked me to move in and take care of hs cats for him while he was away in NY for a month. Things were ok for a while in NY, and then they got bad. He pretty much told me he would rather be with someone else and that he couldn't stand the thought of being with me. He never got together with that person, adn knowing him... he never will. He has no intention of it. I decided I was going to stay put and keep my job. We broke up before he came back from NY. He's told me he loved me countless times before then... as of now, he hasn't said it in about a month. I believe he doesn't love anyone but himself...
I've been here since. I normally don't ahve a problem being here, because I work all the time and I sometimes get to see my friends. All of my friends closeby live in Columbus, GO FIGURE. Lately, I can't take living here. Matt purposly does things to piss me off and I'm at my wits end. He also doesn't want me here, and that bothers me too. I'm getting a lace on my own and moving out as soon as I have the money to. It' wont be for another two months, though. So I'll probably still be here on Hallowwena dn part of Nov. This isn't the real reason why I want to move out though... I mean it is, but it isn't. His parent's are on the lease. Matt was going to have me as an official roomate. His aprents said "No, we don't want her here under any circumstances." Since Matt only decided to tell them recently, I have to find somewhere else to go now. His parent's despise me. Fortunatly, I have as much timee as I need to get the money. However, Matt doesn't want me here adn can't stand to be around me for long perods of time, so he keeps thretening me. He could have me removed tommorrow if he wanted, and there would be nothing I could do about it.This is why it's hard, he pisses me off on purpose, and Iwhen I react, he threatens. When I don't react at all, he still threatens me. I don't know what to do anymore. I told my Boss about his parents and he's going to help me get on my feet. Matt said he's help me too, acting like he cares, but I know he;s probably just bullsitting me again. I want his help, but I don't know if I can believe him.
"Things will get better between us once you move out."
I don't know. I have this strange feeling he's going to get close to me again after I move out, and I will not tolorate another heartbreak.Especially from the likes of him. I'll cross that brige when I get to it, though. I'm prepared for waht's going to hapen, becuase it happens every time.
To answer a question people absentmindedly think about when it comes to us... Yes, we've been sleeping together. No, it hasn't been in the last week. He's kissed me though. Not in public, but he's done it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't reall know what to say. anymore. I'm very tired so that may have something to do with it. I think I'll end this here nad just go ahead and sleep. I hope he reads this, and finds out how I really feel. I don't know if I love him truly anymore. I feel for him, but I don't know exactly anymore.
Part of me still wants him to be mine, the other wants him to just fuck off. I'm torn.
I'm going t bed now. Goodnight!
~~Asuka~~ <3