you + me = high school controversy
Dear Lovely,
This confusion really stinks. I am sorry if I hurt you. I didn't mean to. The thing is Last year we seemed to have a connection, and this year I have felt so invisible to you. And then I realized, I had missed the opportunity, and you had given yourself to someone else. You confirmed it the other night, but it was something I had known for a while. When we were on the verge of being together, well so I thought, suddenly you were all about her. So I figured, hell I must have been right, I never really was good enough for you.
The next big thing was Adam, everyone hated Adam, because he treated me terribly, and I thought that was all I deserved. Let me tell you, that guy took so much out of me, I can't even find words to convey how broken I am, and may be for a long time... I know that sounds realy melodramatic, but if i could only explain it to you, maybe you wouldn't think it so much. Well enough about that...
The subject at hand is what i need to get out... I told you that night, when it was just you and I, that the one thing i want more than anything, is for everyone to be happy. I want to make everyone happy. But that is not possible. So I resolved, I have to be happy myself, to help other people. And I think right now he will make me that way. I can only hope that he won't be mean to me the way everyone says he will, but really, really if he did, it would be nothing new... and all of this, it is just making me tougher... I don't care about boys and their bullshit, once they screw me over, I can just close my eyes and erase the memory, delete the number from my phone, and it's all over, it never happened. For the past two days I have been telling myself i would be angry with him, and coming up with all of these conclusive analyzations, but frankly, I can't be mad at him, becuase I know people mess up which i guess contradicts my previous statement... but i don't care becuase life doesn't make sense so why should I. But i what I mean is I am just going with my gut now, and it says to give him a chance, because everyone deserves one, and I am indifferent to emotional pain now anyways, and I can never have you.
I tell you I do remember something. A kiss. I don't know what that was. Or if you meant it. And it seems really far away now. But maybe i hould stop ranting and just say goodbye. Becuase I am letting go of the throry of you and I... crushing it up, and blowing it out of my hands.. and maybe the wind will take it away, and turn it into stars... <3 heres lookin at you kid... one last time
This confusion really stinks. I am sorry if I hurt you. I didn't mean to. The thing is Last year we seemed to have a connection, and this year I have felt so invisible to you. And then I realized, I had missed the opportunity, and you had given yourself to someone else. You confirmed it the other night, but it was something I had known for a while. When we were on the verge of being together, well so I thought, suddenly you were all about her. So I figured, hell I must have been right, I never really was good enough for you.
The next big thing was Adam, everyone hated Adam, because he treated me terribly, and I thought that was all I deserved. Let me tell you, that guy took so much out of me, I can't even find words to convey how broken I am, and may be for a long time... I know that sounds realy melodramatic, but if i could only explain it to you, maybe you wouldn't think it so much. Well enough about that...
The subject at hand is what i need to get out... I told you that night, when it was just you and I, that the one thing i want more than anything, is for everyone to be happy. I want to make everyone happy. But that is not possible. So I resolved, I have to be happy myself, to help other people. And I think right now he will make me that way. I can only hope that he won't be mean to me the way everyone says he will, but really, really if he did, it would be nothing new... and all of this, it is just making me tougher... I don't care about boys and their bullshit, once they screw me over, I can just close my eyes and erase the memory, delete the number from my phone, and it's all over, it never happened. For the past two days I have been telling myself i would be angry with him, and coming up with all of these conclusive analyzations, but frankly, I can't be mad at him, becuase I know people mess up which i guess contradicts my previous statement... but i don't care becuase life doesn't make sense so why should I. But i what I mean is I am just going with my gut now, and it says to give him a chance, because everyone deserves one, and I am indifferent to emotional pain now anyways, and I can never have you.
I tell you I do remember something. A kiss. I don't know what that was. Or if you meant it. And it seems really far away now. But maybe i hould stop ranting and just say goodbye. Becuase I am letting go of the throry of you and I... crushing it up, and blowing it out of my hands.. and maybe the wind will take it away, and turn it into stars... <3 heres lookin at you kid... one last time